Thaw
by Lastie
Summary: An AU tale which sees Elsa and Anna struggle with modern life in the London borough of Storiford. An unplanned pregnancy throws Anna's life into chaos, while Elsa fights against personal anxieties that threaten to tear her away from friends and family. The sisters will make friends and lose them, face challenges and overcome them, and maybe, just maybe, keep their friendship alive.
1. In Which Anna Has Some News

**IN WHICH ANNA HAS SOME NEWS**

She had timed it quite well; the café was packed. _Phil's Coffee _was not a small establishment, but with the amount of people present Anna just managed to find an empty table, effortlessly slipping past a couple to slide into the seat moments before they did. After giving her a shared filthy look (which hadn't helped ease the guilt she felt over the 'theft' of the table) the couple had turned and retreated back onto the streets of Storiford to look for another place to eat. _At least it's not raining_, she thought, in a vain attempt to make herself feel better about all this. It didn't work; her stomach still fought against a passionate love of the chocolate cereal she scoffed down this morning, and the growing anxiety bubbling within. Fuelled by the news. The reason she had rushed across half of north London to be here, close enough to where Kris worked that he could visit in his lunch hour._ OK, you are not throwing up. Not here. Not when Meg's on shift, anyway..._

As if hearing her thoughts the exchange student appeared from seemingly nowhere by the side of the table, hips cocked and hands planted on them in that stance all the men in their year found hot. _My sister too_, that thought reminded Anna that she still hadn't seen Elsa since yesterday evening. _I hope she met someone..._

Grateful for the distraction from _that _matter, Anna forced a smile to her face. 'Hey Meg.'

If Meg noticed Anna's anxiety she didn't pass comment. Instead she blossomed a brilliant smile on that Mediterranean sun-kissed faced and tucked a few strands of dark brown hair – _almost the same shade as Elsa's used to be –_ behind an ear. 'Hey Anna,' she said. 'Looking a little wind-swept there. Everything all right?'

_What? _Anna's hands rose to her hair and felt the wild ginger tangles. 'Yeah... it's windy out there,' she said, face turning a bright shade of red beneath fields of freckles. _And I ran. Almost the whole way. Damn buses are never on time._

'What can I get you? Aside from a comb?'

'Hah... funny.' It wasn't. 'Hot chocolate please...' Anna said. Ignoring her stomach, which continued to battle with itself. _Don't throw up. Don't throw up. That cereal was tasty. Don't throw up._

'Sure sweetie.' Meg half-turned to leave, when her face grew concerned. 'You sure you're all right?'

'Yes. Why? Don't I look fine? What is it? The hair? That's just... you know... me.' She forced a short laugh. 'Yeah... embarrassing. It looks busy today. Don't let me take up all your time!'

Meg frowned. 'Yeah... sure...'

Left alone at the table, Anna nervously looked around. Hoping not to see anyone else she knew. Having completely forgotten Meg's shifts this week Anna was kicking herself for organising this meeting with the chance Meg would overhear. _Maybe I should cancel? Send him a text: "sorry, can't make it. Might throw up in your face..." _She frowned at her own thoughts. _OK, lets try that again Anna, and be serious this t-_

A blur of movement out of the corner of her eye is all the warning Anna got before a distraught peroxide blonde collapsed into the chair opposite. Two long arms spread across the table, cloaked in a dirty purple hoodie that had, at one point, been a single consistent shade. A head partially covered by the hood dropped forward to press a wide pale forehead to the table's sticky surface, releasing a loud groan as she did so.

'Elsa?' Of all the people in Anna's life her sister was the last person she expected to see right now. 'What...? How did...?' Having practically pushed Elsa out the front door last night, with the explicit order to go have fun, find a nice girl, _and for God's sake get laid for the first time in... forever_, Anna had been happy to wake up this morning and discover the door to her sister's bedroom wide open and her bed empty. She spent all morning happy for her sister, even as her own life was taking a sudden turn into frightening uncertainty.

Elsa brought her head up and looked straight at her sister. She had been crying: her brilliant blue eyes were surrounded by puffy redness. Her hair fell messily around a face coated in dried sweat and dirt smears from where she had probably wiped the sleeve of her hoodie across it. _Speaking of which..._ Anna noted that her sister still wore the same clothes that she left in last night. Reaching out to grasp Elsa's hands in her own, Anna asked 'Elsa? What's wrong?'

'I... I am _so_ fucked!'

That surprised Anna. Elsa didn't usually swear. Instead preferring to use such words for the special occasions in her life: stubbing her toe, burning food, missing the bus, commenting on the state of the Underground, coming out to her parents. That last note was the reason their father still refused to talk to her. 'What happened?' Anna asked. _I do not need this right now! _She felt ashamed that she thought that. _Come on Anna, your sister needs you! _

_I'll... I'll hear her out, then I need to... she can't..._

'I met Hans.'

Anna had little regard for her own language: 'Fuck... what... what did he say?'

'He... he wants the money' Elsa searched the table as she spoke. 'What I owe him... you remember?What I said...?' A pale hand escaped Anna's. Elsa scratched her hair as Anna nodded, remembering the problems her sister had at uni. Prone to anxiety since their childhood Elsa once confided in Anna that she felt pressured by their parents to be successful. First academically, then eventually in a career that their parents would be proud of. After suffering a nervous breakdown during her A-levels it hadn't surprised Anna to learn that Elsa had turned to drugs to keep her going through her university years. She had wanted to help, but Elsa had been firm in keeping her away from it all. This wasn't her problem, Elsa had said. _But you're my sister. Your problems _are_my problems... _Now it seemed that would become quite true. 'So...' she reached down and tucked her fingers beneath the hoodie and the t-shirt beneath, bringing both up far enough to reveal her stomach. A blotchy pattern of blue and purple decorated pale skin draped over painfully visible ribs.

'Jesus Christ!' Anna covered her mouth with her hands. Moving them away to say 'you've got to go to the police Elsa! This is insane!'

Elsa dropped her clothes, hiding her stomach again, and leaned over the table. 'And say what?' she hissed. 'My dealer would like payment for my last fix?' She sneered. 'Think they'll take pity on me? Poor little white girl? Got in over her head and now can't get out of the hole she's dug for herself...' Her head dropped back onto the table. A muffled 'fuck' filtered through the hair.

'You say that, but I'm sure-'

'No Anna. I can't... what if dad finds out?'

_Ah... _yes, her sister had a point. Her relationship with their father had hit a wall six years ago when Elsa told him she was a lesbian, after he had come home early to find her curled up on the sofa with Ellie, a friend of Anna's, in the middle of some athletic tongue gymnastics (as Elsa once described the scene). Anna didn't remember much of that day save for the hours of shouting. Cutting insults and accusations flung between both of them, eventually ending with both refusing to speak to the other. They still didn't, although Elsa did receive money for her university education. Money that Elsa still could not pay back. _If he finds out Elsa spent a lot of that money on drugs... _It pained Anna to think it, but she could quite easily imagine their father angrily handing Elsa over to serve a prison sentence.

'All I need to do is get the money. I pay him and he'll go away.'

'How much?'

'Twenty.'

Anna blinked. 'K? Twenty k? _What the fuck Elsa?_' Hearing her voice rise, Anna leaned forward to whisper to Elsa. 'Did you have a fucking Scarface-sized mountain of the shit in your room?' A much more disturbing question occurred to her: _how bad was my sister? She says she's clean now... she's been going to meetings, but if it was that bad... _she had never told Elsa, and tried her best to hide it, but Anna frequently went into her sister's room and checked to see if Elsa was hiding any drugs. One of many reasons why she kept pushing her sister to go outside. _Find a job! Find someone! Get some fresh air! Let me drug-search your room! _To date she had found nothing, and Anna wasn't certain what she'd do if she ever did.

Elsa looked up. Resentment clouded her eyes. 'Why are you here?'

'What?' That was a change of topic. Anna realised her sister was being defensive, but she could not think of how to return to Elsa' predicament without causing further damage between them, not after that little outburst.

'Why are you here?' Elsa repeated. 'I looked for you at the store.' Elsa's phone broke a few days ago, and she had yet to replace it. 'Belle said she gave you an early lunch so you could come here. Why are you here?'

'I...' _God, how do I tell her this? _'I'm seeing Kris for lunch. Thought it'll make his day.'

Elsa didn't look convinced.

_I'm sorry. I really am_, Anna thought. _But I can't tell you both. I need to do this..._

'Hey there!'

_Oh fuck... '_Kris!' Anna looked up at her boyfriend and forced a smile to her face. 'Hey! How... how are you? How's work? Busy day? How's everyone? What've you been doing?'

'Whoa... slow down there,' Kris laughed. Quite used to Anna's frequent bouts of verbal diarrhoea. He leaned down to kiss her. Anna can taste coffee on his lips. _Erugh... _She broke off first, eager to tell him the news, although dreading it at the same time. Her stomach rumbled.

'Hey Elsa,' Kris said, sitting down next to her. Elsa obligingly shifted up next to the wall so Kris could sit opposite Anna. Giving him a strange look as she did so.

'Kris.' Anna could not tell whether Elsa liked Kris or not. She was pleasant enough around him, but when Elsa thought she wasn't looking Anna often caught her sister giving Kris wary glances, as if her sister didn't quite trust him. _She's probably just looking out for me..._

Anna regards her boyfriend. Kris did look quite attractive in a suit. It'd been a month since he first started working at Insuricare, and Kris seemed to be enjoying himself. He always had a story about a work colleague to tell, usually hilarious (at least he always found them so), often ending with 'you seriously had to be there Anna!' To which Anna would smile politely, not enthusiastically, and say 'sounds like you're enjoying it!'

'Brad told us an amazing story this morning,' Kris began. Brad, Anna had gathered from previous tales, was the guy who worked on the same stretch of desk as Kris. Insuricare believed in the open-plan office, which had made it somewhat embarrassing when Anna had surprised Kris one day with a visit to the office during her lunch break (she took hers in the afternoon). Kissing him while all the workers in the office were watching them both over the monitors had been somewhat awkward.

She hadn't been back since, which she felt guilty about.

Kris launched into his story, which seemed to involve Brad's night out at Kuzco's, a club down the road from Anna's flat. Anna personally avoided the place, as it seemed to attract the kind of people that she usually avoided – loud, vulgar, and stinking of every drug under the sun. Five times since she first moved to Storiford Anna had been awoken in the early hours of the morning by police sirens, and looking out her window saw them flashing by the entrance to the club. Other nights she would be woken up by the loud singing and cursing of people coming out the club, stumbling their way back to wherever they came from.

Still, the rent was cheap (_I wonder why?_) so she couldn't complain too loudly.

Anyway, so apparently Brad had been at Kuzco's and... _tell him! _She realised she was delaying the inevitable. The sooner she told him-

'A llama?' Elsa asked.

Anna frowned. When did the conversation take this turn? She had zoned out for only a moment...

'Yeah, I know,' Kris said. 'Weird, huh? So there's this llama, right there on the dance floor...'

_Oh God, this going to crazy places. Tell him now!_

'Was it someone's pet?'

'Might have been. It's a mystery best solved by smarter minds than we- I mean me. You're a damn genius,' Elsa genuinely smiled at that, 'but anyway – this llama.'

_Why _is_there a llama... dammit girl! Speak! You've never had a problem with this before!_

'It starts dancing-'

_Stop him now!_

'Dancing?'

'Yeah, seriously. Brad swears he isn't making this up. A dancing llama. In Kuzco's.'

'I don't believe it.'

'I didn't either. I still don't. Brad says there's about sixty-odd other people there that night that'll back him up if you need proof, but personally I reckon Brad just got totally wasted and confused a llama with-'

'Kris, I'm pregnant!'

It happened in slow, agonizing motion. Anna couldn't help but imagine the constant soundtrack to her life had screeched to a halt. Silence was the order of the moment now. Even the noise around her, from the packed café, seemed to vanish out of respect to drama. Both Elsa and Kris turned their heads to look at her. Mouths open. Anna clutched her own. Shocked at how loudly she had said that. 'I...' she whimpered.

Kris is the first to speak; 'pregnant?'

'I should go...' Elsa began.

'No, please!' Anna reached out and gripped her sister's hands. 'I was going to tell you, I just wanted to tell Kris first but as you're both here now I guess I've told you both at the same time, so that was easier...' she gave a small laugh. 'I say easier... this really isn't easy. I've been in such a daze all day so far I'm sure Belle suspects something, but... oh God I'm rambling..." She took a deep breath. "So yes, I'm pregnant. Confirmed it this morning. The stick told me so. All three of them. You know... in case it was a false positive. Or something. So... yeah. Pissed on three sticks... I mean... you know what I mean... oh one of you please of for the love of GOD SAY SOMETHING!'

'You can't be pregnant...' Kris said, and his face almost broke her heart.

_Why are you looking at me like that?_ _So... frightened? _Anna thinks. _I didn't want you to look at me like that! I wanted you to be happy. For me. For us. Please... _'Kris, I just said I am...'

'No. I mean we've always used protection. Every time. At least, I... I always...' Kris began to say, but tapered off. Confused, frightened, worried... he seemed all three. The look didn't suit him. _Please... I thought you would be... _'I... I don't understand, Anna. How can you be...'

'It's not one hundred percent effective.' They both turn to look at Elsa, who kept looking from Kris to Anna as if one of them was going to explode. 'I'm just saying... it isn't an exact science. Do... do you guys want me to be here, because-' Anna squeezed hard on her hand. 'OK... I guess I'm staying.'

'No...' Kris shook his head. 'I... this isn't... this isn't a good time.'

'Kris...' Anna released Elsa and extended her hands to him.

He draws back.

_This isn't what I wanted! _Anna thought. Eyes wide with horror.

'What are you going to do?' he asked.

'What?' It was the question she had dreaded, because she hadn't answered it yet either.

'Are you...?' He took a deep breath before continuing. 'Are you going to keep it?'

'I... don't know...'

'Anna...' it was the pity in Elsa's eyes that finally broke Anna. She started crying.

'I don't know...' Anna sobbed.

'I... I need to think about this...' Kris stood up.

'Kris!' Anna reached out. 'Please!'

'I'm sorry,' Kris walked away. Hands raised defensively. 'I need... I need to get back to work... I'll... I'll call you. I...' He rushed out without further word.

'Kris! Don't... Kris you wanker!' Elsa called after him. 'Don't... oh for God's sake...' she turned her attention back to her sister. 'Anna...' she got up and moved around to sit next to Anna, and drew her into her arms. 'Look... it'll be OK. Honest. Whatever happens, it'll be OK.'

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... you have a problem and I just-'

'Fuck my problems. You're more important right now.'

_Oh my God. How did I get someone like you for a sister? You're far too good for me. _'Thanks...' Anna meekly said. 'Elsa... I can't have this baby. How... how am I going to afford-?'

'Don't rush this, Anna. Don't make a choice you'll regret.'

_That's what I'm frightened of. _'Elsa...'

'Hot chocolate?' They looked up at Meg. 'I'm sorry it's late,' she said. Her face concerned.

Elsa held up her fingers. 'Could you make that two?'


	2. In Which Elsa Makes Hot Chocolate

**IN WHICH ELSA MAKES HOT CHOCOLATE**

'Can you believe he took off like that?' Anna called out. Her sister was slouched in the sofa with feet up on the coffee table, flaking dirt onto magazines piled beside chocolate-stained mugs left from previous nights while Elsa was in the kitchen partition, barely five feet away. Hunting through the cupboards for clean mugs. 'What an asshole!' Anna adds.

It had taken Elsa almost an hour to remove Anna from the café. Meg had very kindly topped up their drinks whenever they were low, and flatly refused to charge them for it. Hoping that she would not get in trouble because of it, Elsa walked with Anna back to the flat, called Belle on the way and explained what had happened.

'Poor _petit poussin_,' Belle had said. French by birth, Belle had lived in London for the last ten years. Co-owner of a private book store with her husband, Adam. A nice enough guy. Although Elsa had met him a grand total of twice.'Yes, please – take the rest of the day. Give her my love. I will see her tomorrow if she feels better, yes?' Elsa had said she hoped so – Anna was the only one who brought money into the flat after all – and wished Belle a good day. 'You too, my little _flocon de neige._ _Prendre soin_.'

Anna hadn't talked much on the way. Only when they climbed the stairs to the third floor, wrestled the door open and she had collapsed into the sofa did she become Anna once again – 'I mean, what kind of man does that? I tell him I'm pregnant – _huge news! –_ and he runs for the hills. What an asshole! Seriously! What. An. Asshole! It's not me being unreasonable, is it?'

'He probably needs time to think about how he should be thinking about this,' Elsa said. When she realised how little sense that made she stood up from searching the cupboards under the main (and only) work surface. Loose strands of hair were brushed out of the way before she said 'I mean... you probably caught him off-guard. Look, you said yourself you were using protection. You felt safe. This is literally the last thing either of you thought would happen. Might have been a little naïve but you...' she trailed off, noticing her sister's expression.

'Oh, of course. You're a lesbian,' Anna said in, voice dripping with sarcasm, 'you can fuck all you want and never have to worry about this shit.'

_Not lately. _'I didn't mean it like that, Anna.'

'Yeah, I know...' Anna looked away. 'Sorry, that was uncalled for.'

'Nah, I was being a 'tard.' Elsa played with her hands, a habit she picked up when she was nervous._ This is just crazy. Last night I was having the shit beaten out of me, now I'm nine months from being an aunt. How does life segue from shit like that to... _Elsa wasn't sure how she felt about Anna being pregnant. _Still feels too unreal. _As if Anna was going to jump up suddenly and announce she was only joking. 'Anna... did you and Kris... ever talk about settling down? I mean you've been going out for almost three years now.'

Anna's mouth hung open for a few seconds as her eyes danced across the ceiling. 'Kind of,' she eventually said. Her voice softer than it previously had been.

'Kind of?' A shrug was all Elsa got from her sister. 'No, I'm being serious here Anna. Did you ever talk about this kind of stuff with Kris?'

Anna seemed to be evading the topic, but with a sigh she relented; 'he said he wanted a big family, I said I wasn't too keen on that idea, and we both agreed to talk about it again when we were in a financially better situation. We weren't in a rush.'

_Yeah, we can barely scrape by as it is. No thanks to me... _Elsa frowned. She leaned forward on the surface and looked across the room at her sister. 'If he wants a big family, what's he spazzing out for?'

Another shrug.

Elsa searched the counter as her mind worked. 'Is everything OK with Kris at work?'

'You don't think...?' her eyes widened. 'He's seeing someone else?'

'What? No!' Elsa threw a towel at her. Anna deftly caught it. 'Don't be a 'tard. I meant his job. He's been there a month, right? It's everything he thought it was going to be?'

'I... guess...' Anna frowned. 'You think he's having work problems?'

Elsa shrugged. 'He talks about work a lot, right?'

'All the time.' Anna said. 'But mostly about the guys he works with. He doesn't really talk about what _he___does. It's an insurance company, right?' Elsa nodded, although she wasn't sure why Anna asked her for confirmation on that matter. _You _do _know what your boyfriend does for a living, right? _'I guess he finds the work too boring to talk about. It _is___insurance.'

Elsa wasn't too sure, but she said nothing. Her search had proved fruitful; two mugs. Both clean.

'He would tell me if there was something wrong... right?'

'Of course he would,' Elsa lied. She sought to change the topic: 'so...'

'Yeah...' Anna knew what Elsa was trying to ask. 'No, I haven't thought about it.'

'We could-'

'Really?' Anna couldn't help but laugh. 'Elsa. I mean this in the best way possible, you know that, but you've been unemployed since leaving uni and I'm barely scraping past payments on this place with my job. Belle is wonderful, she really is, but there's a limit to how much she can pay me before I earn more than her and I've hit it. Father still isn't talking to either of us since last Christmas-' Elsa visibly flinched at the memory, _as if my surprise coming-out confession wasn't embarrassing enough_ '-and will definitely refuse helping out a grandchild. That's if he doesn't kill me first.'

'Yeah...' their father had been adamant; no sex before marriage. Only Elsa's sexuality was treated with greater disdain. If he discovered Anna and Kris had been sleeping together their tenuous link with their parents would probably shatter, _and mother's a fucking doormat who'll follow him. _'Better not tell him.'

'He'll find out if I have the baby, Elsa.'

'Yeah... but that's like... nine months away.'

'It'll show in a few.' Anna mimes her extending stomach. 'Do you not remember this?'

'No. Lesbian. Remember?'

'Stop being a fucktard,' Anna laughed. 'You could have kids one day.' Her face changed, suddenly dreamy. As if she saw a future with them both mothers. _Oh that's a horrifying thought. Motherhood. _Elsa doubted she would make a great mother. _Not with my issues. _

Not wanting to spoil the mood by mentioning her views on such matters Elsa forced a grin. 'Who knows? Maybe. One day.' Although she couldn't help but add; 'probably not, with my track record.'

Anna's face fell. 'Oh Elsa... you'll find someone.'

_So much for not spoiling the tone of the conversation. _'Oh, I've found plenty. It's just that none of them were gay.' Elsa groaned. 'I'm like... possibly the only lesbian who falls for straight women!' As if providing further fuel for her angst, Elsa realised why she had never used these mugs before. She looked at them with tears in her eyes. _World's Greatest Friend_, she read the sides. Both mugs were identical; one was a present to her. The other had been a present to... _oh God damn it. This is really is the last thing I need right now... I should have got rid of these._

Anna recognised them as well. 'Still not over Aurora?'

'Does it look like it?' Elsa knew they were retreading last night's conversation, which had ended with Anna pushing her out the door. She had deliberately avoided her usual clubs, at the risk of bumping into Aurora. Which had, unfortunately, led to her meeting Hans instead. 'Aurora, Kida, Ez...' she wiped the tears from her eyes with a dirty purple sleeve. 'Why do I do this to myself?'

'Elsa...' Anna gestured for her to sit beside her. Elsa settled upon the sofa. Sitting straight as Anna sunk further into the fabric. Her sister gathered a hand into her own and squeezed tight. 'Please... it hurts to see you like this. You have to get over her.'

_When will that be? I only managed to recover from Ez when Kida came along. Then when she left I realised how much I cared for Aurora... I'm just thrown from one heartache to another..._

'She misses you, you know.'

Elsa looked at her. Eyes wide with pain. 'She... does?'

Anna nodded. 'Met her yesterday at the pub' – by that Anna referred to the _Clock and Candlestick_, a pleasant pub a few stops away on the Northern line that the sisters and their friends once congregated every Wednesday. Before events in their lives saw them slowly drift apart. 'I was going to pass the message on but I got distracted by...' she gestured at her womb. 'She asked about you.'

'What did you say?' Elsa almost whispered the question. Her heart was beating so fast...

'She wants to be friends again Elsa.'

Elsa looked at the mugs on the kitchen work surface. Aurora had given hers back to Elsa after... _I made such a fool of myself. I said... I wish I could take it all back. But how can we go back to how we were when she knows that I feel this way about her? _'I can't.'

'Elsa...'

'I can't!' Elsa regretted her tone of voice immediately. 'I'm sorry...'

'It's... I understand...'

Silence descended on them both. Broken only when Anna begun to cry.

'Elsa... I... I can't make this decision without Kris!' Anna said between the sobs. 'I... it isn't... it isn't fair if he doesn't get a say.'

'But it's your body...'

Anna looked at her. Turquoise eyes afire. 'It's his child too, Elsa!'

Elsa held her hands up in surrender. 'Yes... you're right. Sorry.' She nodded at the phone in Anna's lap. 'So... any response?'

'No... nothing.'

'He's... probably busy. It's only three. He's probably in a meeting or something. You know...'

'Yeah...'

A knock on the front door made them both look at each other in confusion.

'Expecting anyone?' Anna asked of Elsa.

'No,' her sister replied. 'You?'

'No.'

Elsa walked to the door and looked through the peep hole. A familiar short-haired brunette poked her face into view. 'It's Punz,' Elsa commented for Anna before she let their cousin through the door.

Punz was a hyperactive dervish of black leather and lace, revealing an abundance of spectacular tattoos that, from past conversations, Elsa knew covered most of her body. _I thought she was busy touring the city with her band, _Elsa thought. She had gone to several underground concerts Punz and her band, the _Floating Lanterns, _had headlined, and enjoyed all of them. If truth be told Elsa was a little jealous of Punz's talents, as well as her stable relationship with her boyfriend, Eugene, who played bass. _God, jealous of my sister and my cousin's relationships. How far you've fallen Elsa darling..._

Their cousin made a straight line to Anna and threw herself down beside. Her face, pierced in places Elsa didn't believe was possible to be pierced, looked at Anna with a mixture of concern and wonder. 'Oh my God Anna!' she said as she gathered the girl into a tight embrace. 'I heard!'

'Hey Punz, nice to see you. By all means come in and suffocate my sister,' Elsa commented as she changed seats to the single seater on the other side of the coffee table, as Punz filled up the rest of the space on the sofa beside Anna.

'Hey Elsa,' Punz said as she stroked Anna's hair. 'How's life?'

'Shit. You?'

'Shit.' This was their usual exchange. A private joke between the two born in the aftermath of an epic four hour drunk conversation round Eugene's one evening several years back. Every so often they would remember snippets of what they had discussed, which Elsa swore ventured into existential territories never touched by the likes of mere mortals such as them before. While the exact details remained unclear to this day, they both agreed it ended with the declaration that everything discussed to that point was fundamentally shit. Probably by design.

'Anna,' Punz returned her attention to Anna. 'What are you going to do?'

'I... wait, how do you know? Was Meg listening?'

'What? No, Kris told us.'

'Kris? He's with you?' Anna asked. The volume of her voice made Punz jump back a little on the sofa. 'Has he said anything?'

'Him and Eugene have gone out.'

'What? Why?'

'To talk about this, I guess.'

'Why isn't he talking to me?' Anna almost screamed it.

'He probably wants advice from another guy,' Elsa comments. 'Don't take it personally Anna.'

'How could I not take this personally?' Anna cried. 'I'm the mother of his child!'

'Are you definitely sure?' Punz asks.

Anna blinked. Shocked. 'Am I sure... what?' She asked. Speaking slowly and carefully, looking at Punz with a deadly glare. 'That I'm pregnant, or Kris is the father?'

'Pregnant!' Punz answered very, very quickly. Elsa killed her smile a second after she felt it appear. 'I meant pregnant!'

'_Very_ sure.' Anna's reply plunged the room into silence. Everyone avoiding each other.

'So... we're just waiting for Kris to grow a pair?' Elsa said finally.

'Do you have a problem with Kris?' Anna asked her sister.

'What? No. Well, now I do, but before he was all right.'

'Really?'

'Yes.' Elsa returned her sister's gaze. 'What are you insinuating, Anna?'

Anna looked away. 'Nothing. I'm just on edge.'

'Yeah... look, it'll all work out.'

'You think?'

'Course we do,' Punz said, taking Anna's hands in her own. 'It always does.'

'Thanks, both of you.' Anna exchanged warm smiles with both her sister and cousin. 'It means a lot to me that you're both here. I... I'm a little scared to be honest.'

'I understand.' Punz noticed the plethora of empty mugs scattered around. 'How much-?'

'Oh they're old,' Elsa said immediately, then winced as she realised what Punz probably thought of the two of them now. _Yeah, really need to clean this place up. Anna has an excuse – she's busy. Me? What _is_ my excuse? Laziness? Depression? Not giving enough of a shit? _She stood up. 'I was going to make you a hot chocolate. Sorry Anna – I got distracted.'

'It's OK,' Anna smiled up at her.

'So Elsa,' Punz said as Elsa returned to the kitchen and begun boiling milk on the stove for the hot chocolates. 'Anna tells me you went out last night. Meet anyone?'

Elsa and Anna shared a look. _Oh yeah, met my former dealer. Nice guy. You'd like him. Likes to keep abreast of financial opportunities. Like cashing in outstanding debts from former customers._ 'No,' Elsa said. 'Pretty quiet, to be honest.'

'Did you tell her about Aurora?' Punz asked Anna, who nodded in confirmation. 'So you're going to see her?' Punz then asked Elsa. A wide smile on her face.

Elsa felt a coldness seep through her. 'See her?' She looked at Anna, confused.

'I... didn't know whether to tell you or not,' Anna replied, looking quite uncomfortable. 'She wants to be friends again, Elsa. She asked me to tell you she wants to see you. You said you didn't-'

'I say a lot of things.' _Most of them insanely stupid. _'Did she... say a date?' _Wrong word to use! _

Punz nodded. 'Tomorrow. At the pub.' Her face grew as concerned as Anna's. 'Are you...?'

_Am I? _Elsa thought. _Do I want to see her again? _The mugs on the surface brought the memories of Aurora back, after she had spent so long trying to suppress them. A picture of Aurora is formed; her face, her smile, her laughter. _Oh God, her laugh._ Elsa felt that feeling in her stomach again; of being so afraid to tell her. _But I did tell her. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't keep it hidden any longer. I had to tell her. Let her know why I couldn't be with her any more. _There wasn't a day that went by that Elsa did not spend regretting the words she had said to Aurora after her confession.

_But she wants to see me..._

She felt sick. Her stomach hurt, and it wasn't just the bruises from the beating Hans' two goons gave her the other night. Elsa realised how long she had stood there in silent conflict and looked up to see Anna had crossed the distance to stand opposite. Her hand wrapped Elsa's and she smiled that smile Elsa loved to see. The one that told her everything would be OK. Somehow. _Oh God, how did I end up with a sister like you? You're far too good for me. You deserve better. A lot better._

'I'll see her.' Elsa smiled back.

Anna said nothing. Her smile brightened.

The phone rang, causing everyone to jump in surprise. Tossing aside the magazines that covered it Anna picked the phone up. 'Hello?' A pause, during which Elsa wondered who could be calling. The smile on Anna's face vanished. 'Snow?'

_Oh dear God... _Snow only called Anna for two reasons. _Please be small talk. Please be small talk. Just mindless hours of whatever she wants to talk about today. _Small talk meant Snow was doing what she should be: taking her medicine. Keeping those voices away.

Anna's face gave warning that it was the other reason. 'Don't do anything!' she said. Panicked. 'Just stay there Snow! Don't do anything! I'll be round in five minutes! I promise! Snow... do you hear me Snow? Snow?' Anna put the phone down. 'Fuck...'

'Go,' Punz said. 'Quick!'

Anna nodded and rushed out of the door, leaving Elsa standing. Stunned. Holding two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.


	3. In Which Anna Saves a Life

**IN WHICH ANNA SAVES A LIFE**

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

Her thoughts kept time with the impacts of her feet on pavement as Anna ran from her flat, down the road to where Snow lived in a council property within sight of Anna's bedroom window. The journey took less than five minutes, throughout which the cursing mantra looped endlessly in her head.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

When she reached Snow's place that changed to a single plea: _please let her be OK._

The maisonette was in dire need of maintenance; paint flaked off the single-pane windows. Weeds grew knee-high in the garden around discarded polystyrene take-away containers from Lefou's, which Anna had walked in one night after clubbing, hungry for a kebab. After spending the next morning shitting brown water she had sworn never to eat there again. Somehow the place remained popular with Storiford locals, who littered the borough with its tacky pink containers weekly.

Anna kicked one out of what remained of the path to Snow's door. The weeds caught it.

'Snow!' Anna called out when she reached the door. A knock. 'Snow!' Another knock. 'Snow, open the door please! Snow!'

As always bedsheets had been erected over the windows. Newspaper pages, several months old by the look of them, had been placed over the window in the door. Anna tried to open it. Locked.

Forcing her way around the side of the house, Anna found the back door open. _Oh shit... _this was bad; Snow had borderline OCD concerning the security state of her house. It the door was unlocked it meant she wanted Anna to come in, knowing that she would not be able to...

_Snow... what have you done?_

Anna rushed through the kitchen. A grimy affair made worse by the sheets over the windows that kept the place in a brown gloom. Making the dirt stains on the sink, cupboards and surfaces seem worse than they probably were. Snow lived on the ground floor. Anna had been here enough to know the layout. She had never met whoever lived above; Snow claimed to hear voices coming from the upper floor but then... _Snow hears voices when she doesn't take her medicine._

She found Snow in the living room. Sprawled out on the sofa with dark hair spilling over the side. Knitted blankets draped over her. A few empty plastic containers of prescription drugs on the small coffee table in front, their white lids on the floor beneath. Snow looked up at Anna. Her eyes unable to properly focus.

'Hey...' she groaned. Her mouth glistening, dribbling down her tiny cheeks.

'Snow, what have you taken?' Anna crouched beside her and checked her pulse. Too low. 'What are these?' she looked at the labels on the tubs. Each had ridiculously long names that meant nothing to her. _Might be asprin for all I fucking know... _'Snow, what did you take?' _How much did you take?_

'Think I'll... have a nap...'

'No. Don't go to sleep! Snow, stay with me!'

'Tired...'

Anna pulls out her mobile. She briefly notes a received text message – Kris – before dialling 999.

The next ten minutes were painfully long. Anna continued to talk to Snow as the small woman lost consciousness. Snow stopped breathing just as the ambulance arrived. Anna felt powerless, standing back from the sofa as the paramedics attempted CPR.

_Please Snow. Not today. I've got news. Something I want to tell you. You'll be so happy._

Snow's spluttering gasps for air was the most beautiful sound Anna had ever heard.

She rode with Snow in the ambulance, and ran alongside as she was wheeled into the hospital and taken into the A&E ward. Anna was thankful the paramedics took note of the empty medicine tubs lying on the table, as they calmly rattled off the names to the doctors as Snow was lifted onto the bed. A nurse in blue gently touched Anna's elbow.

'Please,' he said, guiding a reluctant Anna away from Snow, 'she's in good hands.'

Anna said nothing, only nodded.

Elsa was the first person she called, standing outside the entrance to A&E. After tearfully telling her what had happened: 'I'm scared! She stopped breathing, Elsa!' she said.

'It's OK. I'm coming down. Which hospital are you at?'

'St. Joshua.'

'Hold fast, I'll be there as soon as I can.'

Anna returned inside and found a seat in the waiting room. She was only just aware of the people around her, living their own dramas within the walls of the hospital. It wasn't until a pale hand came to rest on her shoulder that Anna realised almost an hour had passed and Elsa had made her journey here via bus. 'Elsa!' she cried as her sister sat down beside her and pulled her close. 'I got there and she was lying there and I tried to help but I couldn't help her I couldn't do anything!'

'What had she done?' Elsa asked, stroking Anna's arm.

'Pills. I don't know what. I can't remember their names. She took all of them.' Anna wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. 'I can't believe... the other times were just... cries for attention, yes? She's always talked about it but... it was just... she would call and say she was going to do it this time, and I'd go round and talk to her and everything would be OK.' Anna grew quiet. 'Only... this time... she didn't wait...'

'She was-' Elsa caught herself '_is_sick. She... this isn't your fault Anna.'

'I know, I just... I should have been there for her. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems I've forgotten a friend.'

'You can't be there for everyone, Anna.'

'She lives two minutes away, Elsa.'

Elsa didn't reply to that. They sat in silence, listening to the people around them.

'This is turning out to be a really shitty day...'

'Yeah.'

For half an hour they sat there in silence. Anna curled up against Elsa, the older woman stroking her sister's arm as they waited to hear news of Snow. Suddenly, Anna whispered 'I'm keeping it.'

Elsa raised her eyebrows. 'You sure?'

'Yes.'

'What about Kris?'

'...fuck him.'

'Anna...'

'No. He can come crawling back when he thinks he can be a man,' Anna said. Her voice subdued, but venomous. 'I'm keeping this baby, Elsa. I want to have this baby. I want to be...' she laughed 'I'm a mum, Elsa.'

'So you are.'

'You're an aunt.'

Elsa nodded. 'That I am.'

'I think you'll be a cool aunt.'

'Of course.' Elsa kissed the top of Anna's head. 'And you'll be a wonderful mother.'

'Anna Lee?' They both looked up at the nurse who had approached. Anna nodded in confirmation. 'I'm happy to say that Miss Lily White is stable, with good prospects for a full recovery.' She smiled down at them.

'Can we see her?' Anna asked, sitting upright.

'She's sedated, but of course.'

Snow looked peaceful when Anna and Elsa were shown to her beside. Dwarfed by the bed she lay in. Blue blankets tucked up to a pale face framed by thick black hair. Eyes closed. Oxygen tubes to her tiny nose. Not for the first time Anna thought of Snow as a child, despite the woman being some five years older than her. _Almost thirty_, she thought. _She couldn't die so young. It wouldn't be right._

Anna sat down beside the bed, Elsa opposite.

'When did she become like this?' Anna asked quietly. 'How did we not see the signs?'

'She's always been troubled, Anna.' Elsa replied. 'You know that.'

'But not like this...' _Paranoid schizophrenia. _Snow had been a cheerful girl when Anna first met her. She had taken a liking to the tiny bundle of innocence, and the attachment had only grown from there. Brought into the large group of friends Anna and Elsa enjoyed company with, Snow quickly became part of the gang. Then came the sobering day when Snow cheerfully talked about the antipsychotics she had to take each morning. Or else the voices would talk to her. There were seven of them, she said. Each one very different to the other. It was the conflict they brought she hated. Snow described it as a giant argument only she could hear. From that moment on Anna resolved to always be there for her. _But I almost wasn't... _'How did I not see it...'

'Anna... you've been busy-'

'We've all been busy.' Anna looked at her sister. 'I've been thinking. Me and Snow. You and Aurora. Us and... everyone... we've all drifted apart, Elsa. We're not there for each other like we used to be. You, me, Snow... Belle, Aurora, Ariel... that bitch Cindy,' Anna could not help but laugh, 'God I miss Cindy! That's how much I miss everyone!'

'Jas, Po, Lan, Ti... were did everyone go?'

'You forgot Merida.'

'Oh, Merida!' Elsa said in a terrible Scottish accent, then laughed. 'Oh my God, how could I forget Merida? What the hell is she doing these days? Politics? Wasn't she, like, one third Team Ginger?'

_Oh God, I forgot that! _Anna laughed. 'Yeah... Team Ginger.' Nostalgia brought melancholy with it. 'I miss everyone.' For a while she absent-mindedly rubbed her stomach. _I wonder when I'll start feeling it. This life inside me. _Then she leaned over, a wicked smile on her face. 'We should get the gang back together!'

Elsa looked thoughtful. 'That might be tricky. I've got few of them on Facebook, but Ariel hasn't been on for a year. The last update she posted was about that expedition she never shut up about, do you remember?'

'Yeah... reef study, wasn't it? Off the Australian east coast.'

'That's it. Probably still out there. Can't see her dropping everything and coming back here. She's got a kid. A life. An insufferably nice husband. You know.'

Anna nodded. She could still remember the controversy during their sixth form days when Ariel became pregnant. _Though credit where credit's due, Eric stuck by her. Still does. He moved with her to Australia. _A mental comparison was made with her own significant other. _God damn you Kris... _

The text. She remembered. Looking at her phone, Anna found the message: _Hey, sorry about that inexcusable performance earlier. _Anna scoffed. _You just caught me by surprise. Work's been putting me through the shitter. Got big news. Meet up? Drinks/grovelling (from me)?_

'Kris wants to apologise,' Anna said as she typed out a reply – _meet you at Phil's? Six?_

'Good.' Anna looked up to see her sister looking at her with a proud expression on her face. 'He's a good guy Anna. Really. Try to hold onto this one.'

'Thanks. I...' Anna frowned. 'Do you think he'll... even with the pregnancy?'

'You're gonna be a mummy?' croaked a soft voice from the bed. Both sisters watched Snow turn her sleepy eyes to Anna and smile. 'That's... wonderful. You're gonna be a... great mummy...'

'Hey, Snowdrop,' Elsa said, 'you're supposed to be asleep.'

'I'm up now... what did I miss...?'

'Lots of doctors fawning over you,' Anna said. She leaned close and stroked Snow's hair. 'You said you were going to take your medicine. Snow, you promised me.'

'I'm sorry... I... I'm just so tired...'

'Shhh, it's OK.'

'Think I'll go back... to...'

They watched Snow drift off to sleep and don't leave her side until they are practically shooed out by the nurses. Anna rides with Elsa in a bus that smells disturbingly of piss, getting off one stop earlier than her sister and walking the short distance to the café. In a strange moment of deja vu Kris greets her from the same seat he occupied earlier that day. _Lets hope this goes better than last time_, Anna thought as she sat down opposite. A waitress – not Meg, who probably went home hours earlier – took her order (hot chocolate) and left them alone. There wasn't many people about; the café would be closing in an hour.

Kris was the first to speak; 'I want to apologise for my earlier actions. I was a colossal twat.'

Anna nodded and held her tongue, wanting to let him say his mind.

'I... I got scared. It's no excuse, though. I'm sorry, I should have been stronger than that but... it just completely blind-sided me. I...' Kris paused when the drinks came. Resuming after the waitress was out of earshot. 'I wasn't expecting...'

'How'd you think I feel?' Anna said, but the smile made light of it.

'Yeah... guess it must have been a shock.'

'So... what's the problem? You told me you wanted a family. It's a bit earlier than either of us were prepared for, but...' She shrugged. 'We have our first child.' Her smile was so wide as to be painful.

Kris didn't share it. 'My job likes me.'

Anna was confused. 'That's... amazing! I'm happy for you... why aren't you?'

'They want me to move to their New York branch.'

That smile vanished. Anna felt cold. 'What?'

'This is a fast-track promotion path, Anna! I go there, rough it out, sing and dance on command and one, maybe two years and I can get myself transferred back in a far better role than I am now. Mammoth wage. The works! This is what we need... it's...'

'Kris, I can't move to New York. I have a job here. I... Elsa needs me. Snow needs me. She tried to kill herself this afternoon!'

'What? Snow?' Kris looked horrified. 'Jesus... is she OK?'

'Yeah, she's fine now, but... I can't go to New York.'

Kris nodded. Looking so dejected that Anna almost leapt over the table to embrace him. 'I know. I know you can't come with me.'

'So you're definitely going?'

He looked at her. 'Ask me to stay Anna, and I will. I'll tell them I can't take the offer. I'll stay here and help you with the baby.'

_He's serious. He'll give this up for me. God, I love him. But... _'I can't. Kris, this will be amazing for you, for the both of us. You have to go. You... you said it yourself; this will put you in a good spot in a year or so. Hopefully I'll find a new job and I'll be in a good spot as well.' She smiled, suddenly realising something. 'You want this baby?'

'Of course I want her! Or him. I don't mind.'

Anna realised she was crying. 'OK, I've been doing too much of this today,' she said as she wiped her eyes. 'I probably look a mess.'

'You look beautiful.'

'Thanks. This... it's going to be crazy for a while, isn't it?'

'Probably.' Kris lost his smile. 'Have you told your parents?'

Anna shook her head.

'Are you going to?'

Anna couldn't help but snort with laughter. 'I can't hide it, Kris. Sooner or later they might notice _something_.'

He looked embarrassed. 'Yeah... so... when are you going to tell them?'

'When I'm sure dad won't kill you, then lock me in a room for the rest of my life.' Anna laughed, although there was genuine concern there. _What _is_ father going to do when he finds out? I should tell mother first. She'll know best how to approach father with this... _'Besides, I think it's bad luck to talk about the pregnancy this early.' Anna anticipated Kris' question by the face he pulled; 'you're exempt. Being one-half the cause.'

'Yeah, sorry about that.' Kris grinned. He grew serious again. 'Anna, I'm serious. If you want me to stay ask me and I'll turn them down. I'll stay here with you. Take care of you. The baby-'

'No,' she reached across the table and took his hands in hers. 'Please, Kris. This is a big thing for you. I'll be fine. We'll be in touch. Elsa'll set up something so we can talk to each other. She's smart like that' _Unlike me. _'It'll be fine. Go earn promotion after promotion, come back and buy that huge house you always wanted and we'll fill it kids.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

They talked until the café closed and Anna took Kris back to her flat. Seeing light coming from beneath Elsa's door Anna knocked upon it and opened when she heard her sister's voice.

'Hey,' Elsa said from her computer. 'How did it go?'

'Great. Kris'll be staying over tonight.' Anna pointed at the headphones on Elsa's desk and mimed putting them over her ears, before giving her sister two thumbs-up.

Elsa was not amused. 'Yay for you.'

'Oh Elsa,' Anna moved forward to give her sister's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 'There's someone who loves you out there. You'll just have to look.'

'Seeing Aurora tomorrow.'

'Be nice.'

'I'm _always _nice.'

'That's what I love about you,' Anna said, kissing Elsa on the top of her head. 'Good night.'

'Good night.' Elsa waited until Anna almost closed the door, then added; 'happy shagging.'

'Elsa!'

* * *

_**Author's Note: **The schedule is to update every Sunday at 6:00GMT, with occasional updates on Wednesdays at 9:00GMT if I'm on a roll. If I don't meet a Sunday update feel free to yell at me ;)_


	4. In Which Elsa (Re)makes a Friend

**IN WHICH ELSA (RE)MAKES A FRIEND**

'Hey Kris.'

Elsa couldn't keep the smile from her face when Kris noticed that she had emerged from her room. Catching him mid-way through making breakfast for Anna. Completely naked. A cooking pot was deftly seized and used to shield his modesty. His face turned a bright shade of red. For her part Elsa was happy to stand, fully clothed in the cleanest t-shirt, jeans and jacket she had, on the other side of the counter, which divided the kitchen from the living room area. A wide grin on her face (and enjoying the torment too much) she leaned forward on the counter and nodded at the bacon sizzling beside the eggs in the frying pan. 'Smells nice.'

'Erm... yes... I guess... it does... erm... er... would you like some?' Kris seemed as if he was torn between being polite to his girlfriend's bizarre sister, and crawling out of his own skin to run away from her. 'Ah... it's... kinda yours anyway. Or maybe Anna's. Found it in the fridge.'

'Nah,' Elsa said as she straightened up. 'I'm good.'

'Hey gor- oh God, Elsa!' Anna had walked out her room. Tugging down hard on the shirt she wore (which looked suspiciously like the shirt Kris had worn the day before), she looked from her sister to her boyfriend and back with equal parts horror, embarrassment, and a small measure of what seemed to be genuine amusement. 'What are you doing up so early?'

_It's eight-fifteen. Hardly early. _Still (Elsa admitted to herself) compared to the usual times she crawled out of bed this was practically unheard of. _Wonder if they've done this before while I've slept off a hangover? _That thought was mildly icky. 'I'm having breakfast with Aurora, remember?'

'I thought you were meeting at the pub?' Anna seemed to be having difficulty keeping the shirt at the level she wanted. Elsa noticed her sister's muscular legs and felt self-conscious about her skinny limbs. Barely any flesh on them from the lack of exercise, poor diet, and sitting at her computer for more hours each day than was healthy. _Anna's right. I need to get out more._

'Yeah, they do breakfasts.' Elsa explained. Sensing the joke had come to an end, she walked to the door. 'I'll leave you two to have some fun. Though... if you must screw on the sofa please clean up after yourselves, I'd like the Xbone for the evening.'

'Elsa!' Anna almost screamed, mortified.

'And that's my cue, TTFN!' Elsa closed the door behind her and headed out. She took the stairs two at a time. _You're disturbingly happy today. Why is that?_ Because she was seeing Aurora again. _But remember what you said to her last time? _Yes. Elsa could remember; standing outside the pub, knowing full well everyone inside could hear them, including her sister and their friends, crying like a lovesick teenager as she told Aurora how much she loved her.

There had been an awful moment of silence between them. Aurora looked at her. Elsa tried to add more words to her confession but couldn't manage it between the sobbing and the gasps for breath, so avoided looking at Aurora.

_'I'm so sorry,' _Aurora had replied._ 'I don't... I can't love you that way...'_

Elsa remembered thinking, at the time, _of course. How could this end up any other way? _This was a scenario that had played out twice before. With Esmeralda, the stunningly attractive room mate of Elsa's at university, and Kida, a student from her class. Both times Elsa had fallen hard for another woman, and both times been rejected with the same words: _'I can't love you that way.'_

And both times Elsa had shut them out of her life.

She knew what she had to do: _'then I can't see you any more,' _Elsa had said_. _

_How melodramatic_, she reflected as she left the flats.

_'I can't see you any more. It's too fucking painful!'_

It was, she had to admit to herself, typical Elsa. _If you can't deal with a problem you run away from it. That's what you do. Your life has been one long series of running away from shit. The only person you haven't run away from is Anna. _Because Anna had ran after Elsa. Took her in at a time in her life when Elsa was burning almost every bridge she had.

And now Aurora had returned. Seeking to rebuild that bridge.

_You're not running away from this, you're going to see Aurora and you're going to-_

Elsa stopped. She had walked past the bus stop. _Stupid._

She back-traced a few steps to the bus stop. When she sat down Elsa realised how much she was shaking. _This is stupid. It's just a friend. It's just Aurora. You've known each other for years. Since year seven. It's just Aurora. Who you confessed you loved. Who you tossed out of your life because she didn't love you back. Yeah... just Aurora..._

It seemed like the longest bus ride of Elsa's life.

The _Clock and Candlestick_ was a large pub sandwiched between old Victorianhouses, of the likes that had four or five floors as well as basement levels that practically kissed the Underground. The ceiling was high enough that Elsa felt dwarfed when she entered. At this time of the morning there wasn't many people about. Elsa looked around, and a part of her wondered if Aurora had decided not to appear. Feeling guilt that she should think that, Elsa moved further into the pub.

Then she saw her.

Aurora was sitting at the table they used to frequent, before the gang got too large and they were forced to find another place in the pub to call their regular. The table was by the window; it offered a view of the beer gardens and was one of the brighter spots in the pub. Aurora had her blonde hair down in curls, dressed in a plain wool top with a high neck. Her violet eyes found Elsa and a smile blossomed on her face. A wave brought Elsa over. 'Hey, sweetie,' Aurora said.

'Hi...' Elsa was consciously aware of how awkward her movements were. _Just relax. Be yourself. It's Aurora, for fuck's sake. Just Aurora. _'Just' Aurora, however, was the problem. Elsa felt her heart flutter when the smile beneath those violet eyes widened at the sound of her voice. Felt the familiar pain of longing when Aurora's odour hit. _She smells gorgeous. Not like me. Cheap deodorant and a quick shower cannot equal _that._ Oh God, _she realised, _you're standing here like an idiot. _

_Say something!_

She noticed the pint of Merryweather in front of Aurora and made an excuse to head to the bar for a drink ('back in a sec, gonna grab myself a drink'). While she waited for her order to be poured (Guiness, thankfully, giving her plenty of time to think) Elsa again tried to reason with herself: _it's just Aurora. Be cool. Relaxed. Chilled. Chillaxed. Whatever. Be all of that. _She accepted her pint and returned to the table, sitting down opposite Aurora.

'Hey.'

'Hey,' Elsa returned. She hoped her smile didn't seem as forcibly relaxed as it was.

Silence descended between them. Both women looking at each other.

Aurora broke the ice; 'your roots are showing.'

'Ah...' Elsa scratched her head. 'Yeah... thinking of going back to my old colour.'

'That's wonderful. I think you look better brunette.'

'You think so?'

Aurora smiled and nodded.

_Oh great. You're swooning already. _'So...' Elsa frantically searched for a conversation opener. 'How are you?' _Genius. You've outdone yourself._

Thankfully Aurora seemed amused. 'Fine thank you. Been working my latest designs' (Aurora was a fashion designer at De Ville, a label that was quite popular with the rich and famous) 'and moving into my new place.'

'You moved out?' Elsa couldn't help but smile. Aurora had returned to live with her parents at their eight-bedroom country mansion after university, while she worked on making her first steps into the fashion industry. Elsa was happy to hear that her friend had made it to a place where she could afford one of the flats in south London she always had her eyes on throughout university. Anxiety slowly drifted away the more Aurora talked, describing her new place, the difficulties in moving in (her brief concern over her cat, Philip, when she left the door open and he decided to venture into the gardens the flats all shared). Elsa found herself nodding, grinning as she hadn't in a very long time.

'So what about you?' Aurora asked as she finished her drink. 'How's life been treating you?'

'Ah...' that familiar sensation of gut-wrenching anxiety returned. _I've been unemployed for almost two years, _'I'm between jobs at the moment,' she said. Aurora nodded, and chose not to comment, although Elsa noted a look of concern crossed her friend's face. 'Shacking up with Anna at her place in Storiford, for the time being. Until I get somewhere.'

'No luck?'

_None. _Elsa tried to mask her depression about this. 'A couple of promising leads. No callbacks as yet, but...' she forced a smile. 'Fingers crossed.'

'Yeah. I'm sure you'll get there. You're the smartest person I know.'

That hit hard. Elsa felt the tears form. 'Don't feel like it,' she said. 'Life's been one fuck-up after another lately.'

'Elsa...' Aurora reached over to lay a hand on Elsa' arm.

By reflex Elsa drew back her arms. Seeing the brief flare of hurt in Aurora's eyes Elsa immediately regretted her action. 'I...' _Oh God, you're fucking it up already. Say something or you'll screw this up before you've got anywhere! _But where did she want to go? Elsa wasn't sure. 'I'm sorry...'

'No, it's... it's OK.' Aurora looked at the table, avoiding eye contact. 'That was... I'm sorry to hear it hasn't being going as you'd hoped. You were so... optimistic last time I saw you.'

_When I told you to get out of my life? _'Yeah...' Elsa admitted. _Where did all that go? When did I become this moping... failure?I'm a drain on my sister. I've chased away most of my friends. When did I become this person?_

'Elsa?'

Unable to decide what to do with her hands, Elsa moved from wiping her tears away, to folding her arms, to holding them tightly together on the table in front of them in quick, cyclical succession. 'It's...' she tried to say. 'I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too.'

'I'm so sorry for what I said.'

'It's... Elsa I understand. I really do. For as long as I've known you you've always been the type of person who loved, I mean genuinely _loved_. Most of us, we kind of... drift into relationships, but you throw yourself in head-first. It's something I admire about you.' Aurora tried a reassuring smile. 'So I understand why you felt you had to distance yourself from me. It must be painful sitting here.'

_You've no idea._

'But... Elsa, I confess I came here to be selfish,' Aurora said. 'I know it's painful for you, I know it must hurt for me to be here, unable to return these feelings and I can tell by the expression on your face you still have them.' Aurora took a deep breath. 'But I want you back in my life. I'm not leaving here until you agree to be my friend again.'

Elsa looked at her friend. _She's giving me an ultimatum? Friendship or else? Huh... _somehow she felt relieved. Aurora wasn't going to let her run away. Just like Anna she was digging her claws in and holding tight. _How could I ever say no? _She knew it would hurt. _I want her so much. I want to feel her kiss. Taste her. Run my fingers through that hair, across her body, _Elsa took a deep breath, _feel inside her... _'You're such a bitch,' she said, but with a laugh that conveyed how happy she was that Aurora was forcing her hand.

'It's my finer quality,' Aurora mirrored her mirth, but then grew serious. 'Elsa...'

'I...' Elsa found herself crying again. _Oh for fuck's sake... I've been doing so much of this lately..._

'I need my friend back,' Aurora gripped Elsa's hands.

Elsa nodded. 'I need you too.' She squeezed tightly. 'I'm so sorry I pushed you away.'

'I shouldn't have been surprised. You run from problems.' Despite the cutting truth of it Aurora was not scathing with her delivery. Her fingers gently caressed Elsa's while she spoke. A look of concern smoothing the rough edges of her words.

'It's my not-so-finer quality,' Elsa said. Smiling weakly.

'I meant what I said. I'm here for you. I may...' a look of pain crossed her face as she recomposed herself for the rest of what she was to say. 'I may not be able to love you the way you want me to. I am sorry, Elsa. But I can, and _will_ love you as a friend. I will be here for you.' When Elsa began to cry in earnest Aurora moved around to sit beside her and console her friend. Drawing her close with an arm wrapped firmly around Elsa.

'I'm such a fuck-up,' Elsa whimpered.

'No. You just... need a little more confidence in yourself.'

Two young men walked past. From their look and dress Elsa guessed they were probably fresh off the basic education train and yet to find any line of work for themselves. _I'm about five steps away from being like them. If I loose Anna, Aurora... return to Hans on my knees begging for more... I will be worse than them... _One pointed at them and elbowed his friend to draw attention. 'Check out the lezzers,' he whispered, quite loudly, to his friend. 'You need some cock in your life, love!' he called out to them.

'Fuck off you ugly little cunts!' Aurora replied, giving them the finger.

'What the fuck did you call me?' one asked. He moved closer to the pair. 'How about I teach you some fucking manners, bitch?'

Something snapped inside Elsa. The chair fell back with the force of her leaping to her feet. It fell to the floor and sounded a clattering that plunged the pub into silence. Her face pushed so close to his they almost touched. 'What the _fuck_ did you call her?' It amused her to discover she was taller than him by a few inches.

He stepped back and raised his hands. 'Hey. Just a laugh, love. Meant nothing by it.'

'Come on, Baz. She ain't worth the hassle, that one. Hans has beef with her.'

'Oh fuck!' the first one, Baz, laughed. 'Better you than me, love. Have a good one.' They laughed as they walked away. Baz forming an imaginary vagina from two curved fingers and sticking a fast-moving tongue between them, before that collapsed into a two-fingered salute as a parting token of his appreciation.

Elsa turned around and found that Aurora had picked up the seat. 'What did they mean by that?' Aurora asked. 'Why does Hans...? Elsa, I thought you were clean.'

'I am. I just...' Elsa sat down beside Aurora and faced her, panic-stricken. 'You have to promise not to tell Anna this.'

'What?'

'Promise!'

Aurora nodded. 'OK, promise. What's going on, Elsa? What's Hans after?'

'I... I did a favour for him the other year. See, Hans gets raided by the police frequently. He's on their radar, and they're always look to catch him in the act, but the bastard's _smart._ He's got contacts who store the goods when he gets a heads up the police are gonna come round his place – he's got friends on the inside that give him head's up, you see.'

'You volunteered?'

Elsa nodded. 'I had some outstanding debts with him. Only a couple of hundred. Figured keeping some of his wares in the flat for a night or two would be a good way to wipe the slate clean. Hans agreed. I didn't store them in my room, as Anna looks through it every now and again. She thinks I don't know, but I've noticed stuff moving around my room when I'm out. I figured she's keeping an eye on me. In case I start using again.' A warm smile for her sister, then Elsa continued. 'So I stored two packs in the inside of the sofa.' Elsa groaned. 'The old sofa.'

'Oh God, what happened?'

'I went out for a day, come back and Anna's bloody gone and bought new sofas. Said the old ones were rotting, which they were but... so I asked her where the old ones went and she says she dumped them outside. Only when I got back there weren't no sofas outside. Some thieving pikey's have gone and taken them.'

'With the drugs inside.'

Elsa nodded.

'How much were they worth?'

'Twenty thousand,' Elsa mumbles into her hands.

'Oh... Jesus Christ, Elsa.'

'Hans wants payment.' Elsa shot forward. Eyes wide with terror. 'Anna knows about it, but doesn't know why. Don't tell her. You promised!'

'Hey, I'm not telling Anna. Don't worry.' Aurora seemed quite shocked at this.

'Bet you're regretting being my friend now...'

The slap came from nowhere. Across the top of her head. 'Fuck! Elsa cursed. 'What the hell was that for?'

'I will _never_ regret being your friend,' Aurora said, and her face was so serious Elsa regretted making that comment. Her expression then softened. 'Elsa... what are you going to do?'

'I don't know...'

'We'll think of something.' Elsa smiled at that. 'I mean... worst comes to the worst we'll can kill him. Carve him up. Hide his body parts in Lefou's kebabs. I doubt anyone would taste the difference.' They both grimaced and laughed.

'Thank you.'

'I told you Elsa; you're not pushing me out of your life again,' Aurora said. 'For better or worse I'm here to stay. Now,' she pointed at the empty glasses, 'want a refill?'


	5. In Which Anna Mends Bridges

**IN WHICH ANNA MENDS BRIDGES**

'That was... amazing,' Anna laughed. Entangled with Kris on the sofa. Sweat covering every part of her (and him). No clothes in sight save for a lone shirt lying atop the magazines on the table. Left where Anna threw it not too long after her sister had exited, having unintentionally inspired Anna to the morning romp on the sofa. 'We should definitely do this more often.'

'Not wishing to be rude,' Kris said as he pulled himself upright, 'but your sister kind of makes that difficult.' He laughed and gestured at the door. 'I mean there's a chance she might burst through that door right now-'

There was a moment when they both looked at the door. Both imagining a distraught Elsa running through, her meeting with Aurora a shambles, herself no better. Seeking to throw herself into Anna's arms only to pause in horror when she finally notices her sister's state. A naked Kris the icing on the cake of Mental Scarring.

'Yeah...' Anna said after that moment. 'We better get dressed.'

'Easier for you. You've got a clean change of clothes.'

'So have you.' Anna grinned at Kris' confusion. 'I stole a few items last time I was round yours.'

'I thought I was a few shirts down.' Kris laughed. 'You are the best girlfriend in the _world_.'

Anna laughed, stood up and inspected the evidence of their tryst. 'Keep going; flattery will get you everywhere.'

'Oh? Because... I don't know about you, but I could do with a shower.' Kris waited a moment, then added, 'you have a large shower. Just saying.'

Anna looked at him. Eyebrow raised, biting her lip. 'True...'

Fifteen minutes later, and feeling quite sore, Anna scrubs the sofa. Having thrown on the first shirt she found with a pair of slightly torn jeans. Kris watched with amusement. 'Really?' he asked when she finished with a spray of air freshener.

'Really. Elsa has a sensitive nose,' she said, 'and a compulsive need to comment on my sex life.'

'She needs to get laid. Loosen up a bit. Mentally, I mean. She's too wound-up.'

'Yeah...' Anna worried about her sister. 'She wasn't always like this, you know.'

'What happened?'

'I... I don't know. It was little things. One after the other.' Anna sat down on the arm of the sofa as she collected her memories. 'She had a breakdown in class. Sixth form. Just... I got taken out by one of the teachers during class – maths, didn't care for it – and they told me my parents had arrived to collect Elsa. She had just... flipped. Her teacher – Mr. Frollo, a total wanker (no one liked him) – asked her a question about... God, what was it? Physics... I think. Thermodynamics. So he had asked her this question and Elsa had... she didn't answer at first, so Mr. Frollo had got on her case about it. He was like that; disobey him in his class and he went proper old-school on you. So he started shouting at her, saying she wasn't listening and Elsa... flipped out. I mean proper flipped out. Threw a chair across the room at him. Screamed and screamed and screamed. They told me what she said – everyone talked about it for days after – and I... I couldn't believe my sister knew words like that. Then she... broke. Just collapsed in the middle of the classroom and cried.' Anna paused. This was the hardest part of the story for her. 'They took me with her. My parents, I mean. Collected me with Elsa and took her to the hospital. Elsa... she lashed out at everyone. Anyone tried to get close to her and she would hit them, scream at them. My sister... my wonderful, gentle sister...' she shook her head. 'It was unreal.'

'I can't begin to imagine...'

'They put her on meds. She did some therapy for a few months. Then she was back to being Elsa... but... not really. There was always something off about her. She was quieter. More reserved. Finished sixth form with solid A's – parents real proud of her. Compared to my GCSE's...' Anna hid a grimace behind a forced laugh. 'Then of course dad found her with Ellie. My dad... he's old-school Christian. Not a bible-thumper, but he sticks by the principles. Told us "no sex before marriage".' She noticed Kris' smirk; 'yeah I know. Did well by that one, didn't I? Elsa got it bad, though. Dad doesn't think much of gays, and it hurts him his daughter is one. I... he's my dad, and I love him, but I hate how he treats Elsa. Did I tell you the day he walked in on her and Ellie?'

Kris nodded. 'Still doesn't speak to her?'

'No.' Anna moved into the kitchen and cleaned up after Kris' breakfast efforts as she talked. 'After that Elsa was... angry I suppose. Bitter. Snarky. We'd hang out, but to be honest... I found her a little uncomfortable to be around. I'd get the feeling I was reminding her of dad, and she'd lash out at me when she was tired, or drunk. But she's my sister...'

'So you stuck by her.'

'Yeah. Through thick and thin. Elsa... she kept getting worse. More tired. Angry. Angry, all the time. At everything. Course it didn't help that Elsa kept falling for the wrong girls.'

'What happened to Ellie?'

Anna frowned. 'I don't know. We used to be friends, then one day she just... vanished. Family had to move up north. Said she'll keep in contact over Facebook, but she was never online. After a while I gave up. Moved on. By then Elsa was at uni, I was in sixth form and failing hard...'

'Sounds like you've both had it rough.'

'It's not been that bad, for me at least. I mean... I've got a decent job,' she gestured around her, 'and this place ain't too bad. Plus I've got an exotic hunk of a boyfriend.' She grinned. 'Nah... my life isn't too bad. It's Elsa I'm worried about.'

'She's lucky, you know. To have a sister like you.'

Anna said nothing. Just smiled.

'So... what do you want to do today?'

'Going to the hospital later to see Snow,' Anna replied. 'Before that there's a few things I want to do.' She retrieved her laptop from her room and settled on the sofa. 'I told Elsa yesterday that I want to get our old gang back together. You remember them, right?'

'A few. I think I came in during the twilight months, though.'

'Yeah.' Anna opened a web browser. Her Facebook profile appeared a moment later. The main feed was cluttered with amusing image files from Merida. 'Remember her?' Anna asked Kris, clicking to Merida's profile.

'How could I forget? She shaved my head.'

'Because you lost the bet.' Anna grinned at the memory. She typed out a private message to Merida – _'Hey, thinking of getting the gang back together. Be free for a drink-up sometime soon?'_

Anna was amazed when a reply was instantaneous. She hadn't noticed Merida's status. _'Fuck yeah, you gorgeous ginger devil! Still with that blonde stud? I'll drink you both under the table and dance on your arses! :P'_

'You had to start with her, didn't you?' Kris commented.

_'No date yet – need to find out who else is up for it. I'll let you know when I get a few more faces on board. Love you Moofy ;)'_

'Does Elsa ever open her window?' Anna looked up at Kris' comment to see him by the open door to her sister's room. He was looking inside, arms on the frame. Seemingly hesitant to step inside.

'It's a bit ripe in there, isn't it?' Anna agreed. She tossed him the air freshener. 'Do me a favour and spray that around in there, will you? It drives her up the wall.'

'Ahh, sisterly love,' Kris commented as he sprayed.

'I reckon "sisterly love" is the only reason Elsa showers in the morning.'

'And you say she wasn't always a slob?'

'No, she used to be a real neat freak. Before...' Anna trailed off. She looked at Kris, face pained.

'That breakdown in school really fucked her up, didn't it?' Kris sympathetically asked.

'Kind of. I reckon it was what started the ball rolling. The drugs didn't help.' Anna paused, halfway through typing a message to Jasmine. 'Have I mentioned that?'

'I took her one of her meetings when you and Belle had that massive after-hours stock-check.'

'Oh yeah.' Anna felt foolish. 'Sorry, I forgot. Thanks for that, by the way.'

'She's clean, right?'

Anna nodded. 'I check her room all the time. Never found anything.'

'What about the rest of the flat?'

_Fuck... he's right. _Anna realised she had never searched her own flat for drugs. _Elsa wouldn't... no way she would... would she? _She felt guilty for even thinking about it. _I am not going to search this place. I'm going to trust my sister. Trust that she would _never_ think of storing drugs in _my_ flat. _

'Anna?'

'Elsa would never do that.' Her tone of voice stopped any further comment from Kris. He shuffled about, uncertain as to how to reignite the conversation until Anna let out a squeal of delight: 'Got a reply from Jaz!' Her smile turned to a frown when she read it. 'Oh...'

'What?'

'Grab your coat. I'll explain on the way.'

Jasmine had mentioned, the last time Anna spoke to her, of moving out of her flat above Storiford Underground station to a place in west London. Apparently that fell through. Last minute cold feet, Jasmine said, from the people who were going to buy the flat. Anna drove by muscle memory to the street outside Storiford station and was unsurprised to find the public parking spaces full. Round the back of the flats were garages for the residents. Anna parked in front of Jasmine's.

'She won't mind,' Anna told Kris as they got out.

Metal stairs, still slick with the night's rainfall, led to Jasmine's door. Bright blue with a painted white tiger. It opened barely a moment after Anna pressed the doorbell. Jasmine wore a creased t-shirt and yoga pants, and didn't appear to have slept much. 'Anna, Kris, thank you for coming over,' she said as she gave each a tired hug.

'Hey, so give us the full details. I mean: what the fuck?' Anna commented as she followed Jasmine into the flat. 'How did this happen?'

They entered the living room, barely large enough for the two chairs and the television. A window overlooked the street. It was wide open and the noise of the traffic drowned out the television show (it looked like a crappy daytime cooking show, with smiling people dashing around a kitchen that was revoltingly large). Paper was strewn across the floor. Legal documents. Police reports. Printed copies of emails. In the corner, between the seats, Mulan sat sorting through more paper.

She looked up as they entered. 'Hey,' she said. Chinese-born, Mulan had lived in London since she was two, giving her a strong accent that contrasted with her parents'. 'Long time no see, Anna. Kris. How're you two holding up?'

'Not bad,' Kris said.

'Could be better,' Anna said. 'Helping with the case?'

Mulan nodded. 'It's bullshit. Has Jaz told you the details?'

'I was just about to,' Jasmine replied. 'Gave Anna a cliff notes version over Facebook.' She took a sheet of paper from the closest chair and showed Anna. 'That was the first email.'

It didn't say much.

_'We regret to inform you that your husband, Ala ad-Din, has been detained at John F. Kennedy airport at the request of the Central Intelligence Agency on suspicion of aiding known members of the terrorist group Ja Affar. We apologise that we cannot provide any further details at this time.'_

'Al, a _terrorist?_' Anna said incredulously. 'What the fuck? Seriously?'

'What evidence do they have?' Kris asked.

'I don't know!' Jasmine threw up her hands in frustration. 'No one's telling me anything. I've been in back and forth communication with everyone – the British Embassy, the American Embassy, the Home Office, I've even contacted the CIA. No one's talking to anyone and no one's telling me what the _fuck_ is going on!' She sat down and rubbed her head. 'God these migraine tablets are doing fuck all...'

'We don't even know where Al currently is,' Mulan added. 'We know he's not at JFK. We've been told by the airport officials he was carted off the premises by the CIA yesterday. They don't know where he went, though.'

'He could be in Guantanamo Bay for all we fucking know,' Jasmine muttered into her hands.

'That's... Jaz,' Anna sat on the edge of the seat and laid a hand on her friend's back. 'This'll get sorted out. Al's not a terrorist. He'd never hurt a fucking fly. OK... probably a fly, but he chokes up if he steps on a snail. I've seen it! A fucking _snail_! That's not a guy who'd bomb shit or work with anyone who'd do that. I know Al. He's a fucking great guy.'

'Yeah.' Jasmine seemed to soften at her friend's words. 'Still... I can't shake this feeling. They wouldn't arrest him without a reason, would they? He's so _trusting_... what if they took advantage of him. The terrorists, I mean?'

'Al's kind, but he's not _stupid_ Jaz,' Mulan said. 'Remember that time you got ambushed by a whole gang of drunks at Camden? After we split?' Anna remembered that night; it had been a celebration of Elsa graduating from university. They had gone drinking around Camden. Elsa had got plastered, and both Anna and Aurora had to take her back supported over their shoulders. Outside the last bar the gang had said their goodbyes and parted ways. Anna heard their individual stories later. 'At first they were right in your face. All hostile and shit. Al though starts talking. Acting like everyone's all best friends, and after, like, ten minutes they were all laughing and joking with him like they knew him since they were kids. I asked him when you told us about this, at the pub. I said "what the hell were you thinking?" and he was, like, "I've never been much a fighter, can't swing a punch to save my life, but I've got the gift of the gab. I know how to use it." He's smart, Jaz. Proper street smarts, at that.'

'Yeah...' Jasmine's face grew a warm smile, as she remembered her husband.

'So,' Anna asked, 'what _do_ we know?'

She stayed for an hour and a half, listening to Jasmine and Mulan talk her through the initial phone conversations. At the end of which she was as frustrated as they at the lack of information being released. Promising to help out in any way she could, Anna excused herself; Snow would be expecting her, and Anna did not want to let her friend down.

'You should go too,' Mulan said to Jasmine. 'Take a break. Please, Jaz. I'll hold the fort.'

Jasmine looked like she was going to argue, but relented; 'yeah. Thanks Mu.'

Snow was awake when they entered the ward she had been moved to. Sitting up in her bed, eating lunch. To Anna she seemed even smaller than she had the day before. A fragile china doll. Beside her bed sat Punz. Her black clothes contrasting nicely with the sterile white of the ward. Punz gave them a wave as they approached.

'Hey, Snow,' Anna said when she reached the bedside. 'How're you feeling?'

'Pretty shitty,' Snow replied. Her voice weak. 'They've got me on some new meds. They're... not as good as the old stuff.' Her head jerked to the left several times as she spoke. A nervous tick that she manifested when anxious. Usually it was a sign she was hearing things again.

'Just ignore them Snow, they're not real.' Anna sat down on the second chair beside Punz. Kris and Jasmine stood on the other side of the bed, greeting Snow with a smile and a kiss on the head.

'I know...' Snow said. It seemed as if she was forcing each word out. 'I can't hear them... properly... just... it's like you've heard someone talk... but you weren't paying attention. You know you've heard what they said but you can't... remember what it was?'

Anna nodded.

'Yeah. It's like that. All the time.' Snow suddenly smiled, and just like that all her tiredness left her doll-like face. 'Punz's been here all morning. She's been telling me about her new album.'

'Hey,' Punz laughed. Playfully slapping Snow on the shoulder. 'That was a secret between us. It's not finished yet. We're still working on the last few songs. It's a concept album,' she said to Anna.

'What's the concept?'

'My friends.' Punz smiled. 'A song for each of you. Well... you're not named, don't worry. It's more like each song deals with themes I think of when I think of each of you. Like, Snow here. Her song is almost finished. Eugene came up with a great name; he called it "Seven Devils."'

'Hear that?' Snow grinned. 'I have a song!'

'What's mine?' Jasmine asked. Eyebrow raised.

'"Desert Princess."'

'Cute.'

'Don't judge until you hear it,' Punz said.

'What's mine?' Anna asked, genuinely excited. She always thought her cousin was talented, and it saddened her that Punz had never breached from the underground scene to public success with her band. _Maybe this will be the one to get her the attention she deserves. _

Punz frowned. 'To be honest, you and Elsa are giving me a hard time. I want something that does the two of you justice. I've rewritten them so many times it's driving Eugene up the wall!'

'Oh.' Anna was a little disappointed, but she understood her cousin's drive for perfection. _In a way she's just like Elsa. Or, _Anna reflected glumly, _she's what Elsa _should _be like. _If she hadn't suffered that episode in school, and set off a chain of blows to a psyche that was never solid to begin with. _I'll always be there, Elsa. It's the least I can do for you. _'Well... when you've finished mine I demand to be the first to hear it. OK?'

'Of course.'

'It can be about the baby,' Snow said. A huge grin plastered across her face as she looked at Anna.

Jasmine turned to Anna in astonishment. 'You're pregnant?'

'Yeah... sorry; didn't seem right to tell you earlier.' Anna shrugged, sheepishly. 'But yeah...'

'Congratulations!' Jasmine turned from Anna to Kris, and back again. 'I'm so happy for you!'

'Thanks.' Anna smiled. 'Don't... go blabbing just yet. I don't want mum and dad to hear it just yet.'

'Oh... you haven't told them?'

Anna grimaced. 'Not yet. Haven't even introduced Kris to them.'

'Oh dear God... that's going to be awkward.'

'Can I bring a camera?' Punz asked. 'For YouTube. Cringe humour gets loads of hits. Especially if your dad flips out and murders Kris.'

'Thanks...' Kris muttered. 'At least there's running away with my pride in tatters.'

'My dad's a marathon runner.'

'I am so fucked.'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Thank you DoubleConsciousness for your review! Here's more drama. :)_

_Very unlikely that I'll get a chapter out on Wednesday, so expect chapter six (back to Elsa again) on Sunday._


	6. In Which Elsa Gouges Away

**IN WHICH ELSA GOUGES AWAY**

'Excuse the mess, I'm still in the process of moving in.'

Elsa had to bite back a comment comparing the state of Aurora's new flat to her small bedroom in Anna's place. _Mess? She calls this a mess? _Elsa thought as she walked around a collection of boxes neatly stacked against the wall. A phone perched on the edge of one, its LED display showing three messages not yet listened to. Aurora walked straight past it.

_I should bring her back to my place and show her what a _real_ mess looks like. _

She immediately felt guilty about thinking that, and struggled to hold back the blushing.

Aurora noticed; 'what's the matter?'

'Nothin',' Elsa lied. 'How long since you moved in?'

'Yes, well...' Aurora looked uncomfortable, and Elsa realised what she had insinuated.

'I don't mean-' she begin.

Aurora interrupted with a dismissive wave of her hand. 'It's fine, I know this should all be away by now. I've just... well... work's been more important, and I've used most of free time to think up more designs to impress Crue.' She noticed Elsa's blank expression; 'my boss. She insists on being called Crue. By everyone. Even fledgling designers such as myself. It's quite an honour, to be truthful.'

'How is she?' Elsa conjured a mental image of the woman. Cruella de Vil was a striking woman in her late forties with a name that would suite a villain of a Saturday morning cartoon series. Having taken it in her stride Cruella had made an image for herself as the fashion industry's puppet master. A gloriously manipulative bitch who had (if rumours were to believed) lied, cheated, back-stabbed and slept her way to the top in the span of a decade. Rising from seemingly nothing to infamy. What made this all the more spectacular (to Elsa) was the complete lack of evidence, leaving most of this hearsay. Which made her even more popular. _We do love a good villain. _

_Can't believe Aurora's working for her. Can't believe she's calling her 'Crue.'_

'She's wonderful, she really is.' Aurora led Elsa into the kitchen. 'Don't believe what the media says about her. She's not that bad. She's actually quite pleasant.'

'Could all be an act,' Elsa replied. _A villain with _really _good publicity._

'You need to think better of people, Elsa,' Aurora said. She seemed sad for her friend. 'You used to think the best of people.'

'Is this going to be the "pick on Elsa hour", because I-?'

'No! No! Please... I'm sorry. I'll change the subject.' Aurora had raised both hands in apology. 'Do you want a drink?' When Elsa replied with a yes Aurora laid two mugs on the counter. They reminded Elsa of the ones back at Anna's place, with 'World's Greatest Friend' written on the sides. _She might want hers back... _'Do you still take your tea with sugar?'

'Yeah.' Elsa used to be a coffee addict. _Then I swapped that addiction for another. Goodbye coffee, hello cocaine. Stunningly well-thought out life choice there, fucktard... _

'So... mind I ask what your plans are with...' Aurora made a rolling motion with her hands. 'Him?'

_Ah... think I preferred the commentary on my lack of social grace. _'Got none,' she admitted.

'You should go to the police.'

'I'd rather bring them into this. There's few ways _that'll _end well.' Elsa accepted her tea and cradled the mug in her hands. She felt the warmth spread through her fingers, which were naturally cold. _It's poor circulation, my mum used to say. _With a sickening jolt she realised she had not seen her parents since Christmas, almost eight months ago. _I haven't even talked to mum on the phone. _Her father still refused to talk to her, as she still refused to talk to him. _When he stops being a fucking homophobic bigot I'll... _

'Elsa?' Aurora gently said. 'You OK? You seem distracted.'

'Oh... just thinking about my parents.'

'Your father still not talking to you?'

Elsa shook her head.

'They could help.'

'Oh, that'll improve my life considerably.' Elsa mimed holding a phone to her head. '"Hey, dad? Hi it's Elsa. Yeah, your gay daughter you refused to talk to ever again. Yeah, me. Listen, I know you think I'm the spawn of the devil and I think you're a religious bigot but I currently owe about twenty thousand to my ex-drug dealer after loosing two packs of cocaine that belonged to him. Could you help out a daughter in need?"' The phone became a gun held to her head. Elsa pulled the trigger and jerked as imaginary brains splattered everywhere.

'I think you're being a little dramatic.'

'You've met my dad. You know I'm underplaying this.'

'Elsa...' Aurora looked at her friend's expression, then changed tune. 'OK. No police. No dads. But what are you going to _do_?'

_What _am _I going to do? How can I possibly get out of this fuckhole I've dug for myself? _Try as she might, working through all the possible options, there was no scenario where she wasn't completely and totally fucked. _If I don't get the money, Hans will fucking kill me. Stick my feet in concrete and drop me in the Thames. If I do get the money Hans will never forgive me. He'll continue to make my life miserable until the day I die. I'll prove myself to be nothing more than a source of money he can squeeze when he's a little dry. If I do get the money there's the question _how _the fuck did I obtain all that? Rob a bank? I'm not smart enough to not get caught eventually. I might get the money now, but the police will be knocking on the door eventually. How could Anna look me in the eye once she knows what I've done? I can't go the police, they'll arrest Hans and me. Hans for being scum, and me for buying from him. I might get a reduced sentence for being a good little snitch, but that'll stay on my record for ever. No one will hire me if they know I'm an ex-con. If I go to my parents they'll fucking call the police for me. Jesus _FUCKING _Christ..._

_What am I going to do? What the _FUCK _am I going to do? What...?_

'I...' Elsa walked over to Aurora's small table by the windows, sliding doors that led to the balcony overlooking a garden that (as Aurora explained on the way there) belonged to the crazy landlady of the entire complex, Mrs Cent. Sitting down Elsa buried her head in her hands. 'I have no idea. There is nothing I can do. I'm fucked. I'm totally fucked.' Her breathing became heavy. Loud gulps of air that drew Aurora closer out of concern.

_So totally fucked. I deserve it. I deserve to be fucked over like this. Sad, sorry, pathetic little..._

'Elsa...' Aurora reached out. Her fingers brushed Elsa's shoulder.

_Pathetic little Elsa._

'DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!'

For an excruciatingly long moment the two women looked at each other. Both shocked. Elsa stood by the table, swaying gently. A thousand apologies running through her head and jamming against each other before they could reach her mouth. Aurora leaned against the counter, having almost fell backwards. Her hand against the red mark that slowly spread across her face.

'I... I...' Elsa stammered. Her eyes creased and tears poured down her face. 'I...'

She ran.

Past Aurora to the front door. Before she could reach it a shadow in the window froze her flight. Elsa looked from the door back to the kitchen. Aurora had recovered from her shock and stood in the doorway to her kitchen holding a hand out. 'Elsa!' she said. 'Please! It's OK!'

The door opened. Elsa watched with growing horror as another familiar face walked through. Her attention diverted from the scene in the hallway by the shopping bags she held.

'Hey, Aurora, I got those fabrics you were after-' Kida stopped, having noticed the two women.

Elsa stumbled back. _No! Not you too. Please. Don't see me like this. Don't look at me! Don't look at me! DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT ME! _Her back hit the wall and she slid down. Hands cradling her head. She felt Aurora beside her. Saying something, but Elsa couldn't hear her over the sound of her own voice. Not screaming, but a single tone. A half-formed word. She wasn't sure what.

* * *

Elsa couldn't recall the gap between that moment and coming to realise that she laid on a bed in a room that couldn't seem to decide between pink or blue. The colours divided almost evenly between furniture, walls and décor. She felt exhausted, but she couldn't say why.

_Where am I?_

Slowly she shifted her weight around to dangle her legs off the side of the bed. She still wore her shoes, which sank into the thick carpet. Treading lightly she made her way to the window. _Ah, still at Aurora's_, she realised as she looked down on the familiar garden. Someone tended the flowers. _A Mrs Cent, I presume?_

The door was closed, and Elsa found herself hesitant to open it. Aurora was probably on the other side. With Kida. _I can't believe they saw that. For fuck's sake, Elsa... can you be any more autistic? You _hit _Aurora! You hit her! She only wanted to comfort you and you hit her! You fucking pathetic, wretched, pitiful excuse for a fucking human being! If you open this window and jump out I bet that Mrs Cent wouldn't even bury your corpse beneath those flowers. They're too good to be fed by your rotting sack of pathetic-_

_GOD! STOP IT!_

Elsa clutched her head.

_JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, STOP IT! STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!_

She leant on the windowsill and took slow, methodical breaths.

_Stop it. You keep doing this to yourself. You keep tearing away bits of yourself. Stop fucking doing this. This is why you're so fucked up. This is why you break down like you did earlier. You're like a cutter. Only you gouge away at your self-belief until there's nothing left except a hollow shell sitting in the corner convinced she hasn't got a friend in the world. You _have _friends. One of them is probably sitting outside that door right now! Waiting to see if you're OK! Go to her! Now!_

_But what if she hates me..._

Elsa looked through the window. Watching Mrs Cent at work. As if she sensed Elsa's eyes on her Cent looked up and waved. Elsa waved back. Pitifully. Sadly. Cent showed no sign she noticed: her attention returned to the flowers.

_I need to leave this room._

The door prevented an obstacle. One that Elsa found herself standing in front of. A hand stretched toward the handle, but held an inch away. For almost a minute she stood there. Looking at the hand. _You can do this. Just open the God damn door!_

_But what if she hates me..._

She closed her eyes. Counted to ten. Slowly.

Hand came down on the handle. Her ears heard the bolt slide out of the frame. She pushed.

The door led to the hallway. Elsa stepped out. To her right was the front door. She could leave now and she doubted that Aurora would notice until Elsa was catching the train back. _I would never see her again._

_She probably hates me..._

To her left was the kitchen and the open door to the living room.

_She definitely hates me..._

Elsa stood there.

_She..._

She took a step.

To the left.

They were sitting in separate seats. Watching the television. Elsa stood in the doorway. Aurora saw her and smiled. 'Hey,' she said, patting the space next to her on the seat, 'saved you a space.'

_She..._

Elsa walked over and sat down beside her. With the feeling of Aurora beside her Elsa broke. Tears ran down her cheeks. Her throat tried to form words but managed only strained cries of pain. Aurora drew her close and Elsa curled up. Resting her head on her friend's shoulder.

Neither Aurora or Kida said anything until Elsa had quietened some ten minutes later. She looked at Kida and said, in a voice strained by her tears, 'sorry you had to see that.'

'Elsa...' Kida kept looking at Aurora as she spoke. It occurred to Elsa that the two had talked about her while she had slept. 'We were worried about you. You were completely out of it. Like... blank. Aurora had to carry you to the bed. You didn't say anything. Or do anything. It was kind of scary.'

'Sorry...'

'Tell me,' Aurora whispered, 'has this happened before? Aside from five years ago?'

_Five years...? _Frollo's class, she realised. When it had first happened. The first breakdown. Aurora had been there. Elsa recalled where Aurora used to sit. By the window, where she would secretly lob rolled up bits of paper across the room at Elsa when Frollo's back was turned. 'Twice,' Elsa said.

'Elsa,' Aurora continued, 'does Anna know about these attacks?'

'No.'

'Elsa...'

'She can't know.' Elsa twisted and looked at Aurora. 'Please.'

Aurora studied her face for almost half a minute. 'How much are you keeping from your sister?'

Elsa didn't reply.

'Are you seeing anyone about this?' Kida asked. 'A psychiatrist? Therapist?'

'I'm dealing with it.'

'You obviously aren't!' Aurora exclaimed. She noticed Elsa's expression, and hastily added 'I mean whatever you think you're doing to keep control of this isn't working. You had a mental breakdown in my hallway. You were borderline catatonic for the last hour! You...' she must have realised how high her voice had risen, as Aurora took a moment to adjust it to a more placative level. 'You hit me, Elsa.'

That struck home. Elsa looked at her, horrified. Of herself. _How could I...? _Again the feeling crept up within her from the dark recesses it made home. A coldness that brought with it reminders of her worthlessness, her failures, her pitiful existence. A parasite attached to her sister. Leeching from this warm, kind, successful woman – a soon-to-be mother with a loving boyfriend. Anna would make a family of her own and still Elsa would be there. Leeching from her sister's happiness. _Because I'm unable to make any of my own. She walked out of school straight into a job. I wasted thousands of my parents money on a university education that I can't use to find anything. I'm pathetic. A fucking waste of-_

'Elsa.'

The sound of her voice halted that train of thought. Elsa looked into Aurora's eyes and wanted to say what she felt. That she couldn't be with her. That every waking moment spent knowing Aurora could not return her feelings hurt. Like small chunks of herself being chipped away. _Gouge away. _That even if she did return those feelings Elsa wasn't worthy of them. _I'm pathetic. _She would never be worthy. From Aurora or anyone. _Sad, sorry, lonely little Elsa. Following your little sister around, as if you could be as warm and funny as she is if you just spent enough time next to her. _

But she couldn't speak. She just stared back. Wide-eyed.

_You don't fucking deserve these people..._

'I...' Aurora began, then stopped as it seemed she reconsidered her approach. 'I started seeing a psychiatrist several years ago.' _What? Why do _you_ need one? There's nothing wrong with you! I'm the one who's fucked up! _'I can refer you to her. She specialises in anxiety and depression.'

_Why are _you_ seeing her? _Elsa opened her mouth to say no, that she was handling it, that she could master it. _Don't be fucking stupid_, she thought. _You couldn't master anything. She's offering to help you. Accept it. Pretend you're not an autistic social head case and do what a _normal _person would do._

It was a small nod. The relief that spread across Aurora's face was not small in any way. 'OK,' she said. 'I'll call her on Monday and get you booked in.' She gave Elsa a tight squeeze. 'I'm glad you're doing this. Thank you.'

Elsa smiled. 'What're you watching?' she asked, having finally noticed what was playing.

'_"Space Pirates of Atlantis"_' Kida replied.

'Isn't that the show you kept bugging me to watch at uni?'

'Yeah, and you never did. Now you're going to sit there and watch and afterwards you're going to say "oh my God, Kida, why did I not listen to you? This is amazing! From henceforth I will never doubt your awesomeness again!"'

'OK...' Elsa shifted so she wasn't leaning so hard against Aurora, trying to regain a small measure of dignity after bearing herself so openly to these two. 'But I'm not saying "henceforth."'

Kida laughed.

* * *

For the rest of the day Elsa felt normal. It was a feeling she hadn't had for a while, and she enjoyed every moment of it. The three marathon watched _Space Pirates of Atlantis _(Elsa was not surprised to discover Kida had all eight seasons on Blu-ray) while Aurora played host; disappearing into the kitchen to re-emerge carrying plates of crisps with bottles of soft drinks under her arms. 'I like to keep supplies for impromptu slob days,' she explained. They laughed at the show ('it's awful by design,' Kida insisted) and at Kida's tales from her workplace (translating works written in old languages), until Elsa realised it was getting late and the last train would be leaving in twenty minutes.

'You could sleep over, if you want.' Elsa searched Aurora's face for any hidden meaning behind the offer, but eventually decided she was just being hopeful (or fearful?).

'Thank you for the offer but... I sleep best in my own bed.'

Aurora smiled, seemingly understanding what Elsa meant. 'Of course. Have you got everything?' When Elsa nodded Aurora walked her to the door. 'Hey,' she said, taking Elsa's arm, 'I meant what I said. Back at the pub. I'm here. For you. And I don't intend to go anywhere. So punch me in the face all you want I'm not leaving.' Her face was a strange mixture of good-natured humour and deadly seriousness.

'Thank you, Aurora.'

'Elsa!' They both turned to where Kida stood in the doorway to the kitchen. 'I'm here too, if you ever need someone to talk to.'

'Thank you. Both of you.' Elsa hugged Aurora tightly.

'I wish you could see the woman I see now,' Aurora whispered, 'because she's amazing. I wish you could see her.'

Elsa didn't know what to say to that, so mumbled a goodbye and hurried through the door. All the way back to the station a single thought looped endlessly on repeat in her head.

_She doesn't hate me._

_I just wished she loved me..._

* * *

**_Author's Notes: _**_Update today, as I'm busy tomorrow. Chapter seven will probably be next weekend._


	7. In Which Anna is There For Elsa

**IN WHICH ANNA IS THERE FOR ELSA**

It was late when Elsa eventually returned. Anna heard the front door open and close between Kris' snoring (he had fallen asleep almost immediately after sex, as was typical), and slipped out of bed, robed herself in the snowman dressing gown her sister had bought for her 18th, and intercepted Elsa as she opened the door to her own room.

Her sister stood motionless, heard turned towards her like a deer caught in headlights.

'Hi,' Anna whispered, conscious that the door to her room was still open.

'Hi.' Elsa didn't move.

'Erm...' Anna found this quite intimidating, and almost lost what she had prepared to ask. 'How did it go?' A moment passed, then she added; 'with Aurora.'

'Oh... yes.' Sudden motion surprised Anna as Elsa opened her door and turned on the main light in her room. Her sister's face revealed, Anna was shocked to see how tired Elsa looked. Her pale skin was almost red, especially around her eyes. It looked as if she had been crying.

'Oh God, Elsa-' Anna reached forward, seeking to embrace her sister.

Elsa flinched. Just slightly. The motion enough to halt Anna's advance. 'Sorry... it went fine. I went back to Aurora's for the afternoon. We watched TV. It was fun.' A weak smile appeared on her face.

'You look like you've been crying.'

'It was some depressing shit.' That smile brought out a short laugh. '_"Animals of Farthing Wood"_, remember it? Aurora has the whole series on DVD.'

'Yeah...' Anna couldn't help but grin at a memory. 'Didn't you cry like a bitch at Badger's death?'

'Fuck off,' said with a smile.

'You had fun, then?'

'Yeah.'

'You two cool?'

'We're cool.'

Anna felt relieved. 'I'm so happy to hear that Elsa.' She shifted topic; 'I've been thinking about that problem of yours. Hans.' Elsa visibly tensed. Her eyes became fearful. Anna held her hands up in an effort to placate her sister. 'Hear me out: granny's dolls.'

'Oh Anna, no.' Elsa looked on the verge of crying again.

'We've had them valued, Elsa. They could cover most of it. I've got enough saved to cover the rest. We can pay him off-'

'Anna!' Elsa immediately seemed to regret her outburst. Biting her lip and looking away from her sister. 'You can't. I'm sorry. They're all we have left... I'll think of something. I can do this.' That last comment seemed to Anna to be said more for Elsa's own benefit than hers.

'It's an option, Elsa.' Anna reached out and held Elsa's arm. This time her sister didn't flinch. 'Just think on it.'

Elsa nodded.

'Is there anything else on your mind?' Elsa shook her head. 'OK... well, goodnight Elsa.'

Anna watched her sister close the door to her room behind her. She didn't immediately return to her bed. Instead she looked at the door to her sister's room, with one thought on her mind; _why are you lying to me, Elsa?_

* * *

'What is wrong? You seem down.'

Anna was brought out of her trance by Belle's voice. Looking at what she had done Anna realised she could not remember re-shelving the books in front of her. _That's scary. I must have been totally in my own world. _She turned to Belle and accepted the takeaway cup of hot chocolate (Belle having just done the morning drinks run to Costa). 'My sister,' she said.

'Ah, what is the matter with Elsa?' Belle asked. Somehow she made a thick woolly jumper, baggy jeans and thick rimmed glasses seem classy. _Must be the French genes._

'Not sure. She's been kind of withdrawn the past week. We haven't talked as much as we usually do. I have this feeling she's not telling me something. Does that make me a bad sister?'

'Ah...' Belle shrugged as she delicately sipping on her coffee (a large double-shot caramel latte with cinnamon - Anna couldn't understand how Belle could drink the stuff). 'My sister's and I rarely tell each other anything. I wouldn't worry too much.'

'You have sisters?' Anna couldn't recall Belle mentioning them before.

Belle smiled tiredly. 'Two sisters, and three brothers,' she said, holding up the appropriate number of fingers as she mentioned them. 'We are a large family, and like most large families we have times when some of us aren't speaking to others for silly reasons, but to us are _very_ important.' That smile turned mischievous as Belle continued; 'I did not speak to my eldest sister for a year after she took a dislike to the dress I wore to my brother's wedding.' A shrug. 'A silly thing.'

'What did she wear?'

'Something horrible. Let us not speak of it.'

Anna laughed. 'Sounds exhausting. One sister is trouble enough, I can't imagine another, and three brothers? And none of you have killed each other yet? _How?_'

'Because beneath our petty sniping and vindictive commentaries there is love between us. Family is an odd thing. Just because we are family, it does not mean we are friends.' Belle shrugged. 'Don't misunderstand; I love them, but we have nothing in common. We talk when the family gathers, that is all. I am happy. They are happy. We have our own separate lives.'

'I don't think I could live like that. Elsa's always been my best friend. We moved around a lot when we were young. Dad's job required him to relocate every few months. The company paid for a lot of it, but it meant that we kept changing schools until I was about ten or eleven, then we finally settled down. Elsa was the only constant friend in my life until Punz and Aurora. Then Jaz, Mu, and Cindy.'

'You have many friends now.'

'Yeah... _now_, but Elsa... she's my _best_ friend, you know? The one I can go to with anything and she won't judge (maybe a few snarky comments), she'll be patient, and she'll help me out. Any time, any where... you get what I'm saying?'

Belle nods. 'Yes. For me, my best friend is my husband. Adam... he is my rock.'

'Elsa's my rock, and I think she's keeping something from me.'

Belle laid a hand on Anna's shoulder. 'She will tell you. In her own time. Just be patient.'

'Yeah...'

'Tell you what, my _petit poussin_, loose yourself in the world of re-shelving our new releases.'

'Yay. You know just what I want, Belle.'

'The perks of being the boss.' Belle gestured for Anna to follow across the shop floor. 'We have a delivery this morning. New titles will go here,' she gestured at the shelves closest to the door, 'and we'll move this lot,' she talked of the books, 'back to the relevant genres, yes?'

Anna looked at the books. 'That might be tricky for a few of them.'

'See what Waterstone's say on their website,' Belle said, her face not too pleased with the idea.

'Or I could make my own calls, and try justify them to our confused customers.'

'Go for it.'

'You're the best boss ever.'

_'Tel est le cas,' _Belle smiled. 'I'll leave you to it.'

Glad for the distraction, Anna threw herself into her work. Boxes were opened, books stacked on the shelves in ways she hoped were aesthetically pleasing, and others moved to various parts of the store. Belle's bookshop, _Provincial Books _(the name apparently inspired by a private joke between Belle and Adam), covered a larger amount of floorspace than its small exterior would suggest. The books were spread out between two floors (fiction downstairs, non-fiction upstairs), with the fiction section further divided between genres (and literary). Best sellers by the front, with the less popular styles near the back (predominantly horror. Anna was saddened to see it shrink in the tidal wave of so-called 'paranormal romance' published after the unholy success of the _Twilight_ franchise).

Caught up in her tasks, Anna failed to notice a spiky-haired goth (although she preferred to refer to her style as 'post-modern punk') sneak up on her.

''sup bitch?'

Startled, Anna turned and looked her cousin with wide eyes. Punz was dressed in a black trench coat, slick with the day's rain, her spiky hair cut shorter than it had been when Anna last saw her and dyed black. Heavy eye shadow surrounded her bright green eyes. Gold rings dangled from her pierced eyebrows. 'Hey Punz,' Anna said, giving her cousin a hug.

'Good morning _fille h__é__riss__é__s_,' Belle said as she appeared from behind one of the bookcases.

'Hey Belle,' Punz replied. 'Glad to hear you're still dropping random French into your sentences without rhyme or reason.'

'It is my trademark. I protect it viciously.'

'Yeah, you do that.' To Anna; 'I hear Operation: Get Aurora and Elsa Talking Again was a complete success?'

'Perhaps a little too successful,' Anna replied. 'They've been going out almost every night since the weekend. I've barely had a chance to talk to Elsa much, and when I do she's so... closed. It's scaring me, Punz. I've seen my sister like this before, and I didn't end so good.'

'Sixth form?'

'Yeah.' Punz was Anna's age, but did not attend the same school Anna and Elsa eventually settled into during their early teenage years. Instead Punz had been sent to a private school in north London and eventually moved on to university to study Modern Music. She had heard about Elsa's outburst in class the day after it had happened, when Anna's mother had contacted her sister (Punz's mother) about it.

'You don't think...?' Punz left her question unsaid.

'I... I hope not. She's been doing so well, lately. Even with... you know... unemployment.'

'I wish I could offer her a place here,' Belle said, 'but... I'm sorry. We don't sell enough to afford an extra member of our little family here.'

She looked so apologetic that Anna had to give her a hug. 'It's OK. We'll blame Waterstone's.'

'And e-readers.'

'Yeah, them too. Amazon as well. Fuck 'em all.'

'Fuck them.' Belle looked at Punz. 'You of course would like to buy a book, yes?'

'Erm...' Punz looked caught. 'Yes... I would. Anything you recommend?'

Anna held out a copy of the novel she was stacking on a shelf when Punz arrived. 'Give this one a whirl.'

'_"I Had a Dream"_?'

'It's a little melancholic, but it ends on a happy note.'

'Nice. I could do with some angst to power the song writing.'

'Still having problems with mine and Elsa's?'

Punz nods.

'Don't worry, I have faith.'

'Hey, you got plans for dinner tomorrow?'

Tomorrow would be Saturday. 'No, why?'

'We're going out for food at the usual haunt. Me, Aurora, Cindy. Elsa's already been invited.' Punz seemed apologetic at that last comment.

'They're letting Snow out of hospital tomorrow. I'm picking her up. Would you mind if she comes along?'

'No, bring the adorable little psycho with you,' Punz looked horrified at what she had just said; 'I meant that in the best possible way.'

'Relax, I know you.'

'Glad someone does.' Punz looks at Belle. 'You doing anything tomorrow?'

Belle looked stunned to be included. She looked from Punz to Anna. 'Not... especially... but if it would make you uncomfortable, Anna-'

'Don't be silly. Come out with us. You and Adam. Will Eugene be there?'

'Of course,' Punz said. 'I'm sure he'll be glad to not be the only guy in the group.'

'Hey! Kris hasn't left for New York yet!'

'My comment still stands. We both know Kris is a huge girl.'

'True...'

* * *

Anna couldn't remember the first time they (at the time 'they' was Elsa, Aurora, Punz, Eugene, Phil and herself) went for a drink at the _Clock and Candlestick. _Those early memories blurred into a single blend of happier times. Anna had just left sixth form (and the less said about that the better) and by fortuitous luck had walked straight into a job with Belle at her store. Employment helped get over her abysmal grades and spectacularly messy break-up with Sven. Elsa was out of uni with a set of amazing grades (still was not enough to repair her fractured relationship with their father) and an upbeat outlook on her future. In short, Anna and Elsa had both been happy.

_When did that change? _Anna wondered as Kris, Snow and herself followed Punz into the building. _How did I get like this? _What _was_ this? All Anna knew was something felt _wrong_, but she didn't know what. She kept taking a step back and looking at her life as it was; successful job, a kind boyfriend with prospects of promotion (although she wasn't looking forward to the year or so separated from him), and a flat that she could afford in a part of town that wasn't submerged beneath drugs and drink. Objectively her life was _good_.

_Then why aren't I happy? _

Kris and Snow were talking about hospital food. Kris had a long stay a couple years back when he had broken his leg skiing. On a dry slope in Brentwood, no less. This was long before Anna had met him. 'And somehow they manage to mess up cereal,' Kris said.

'Too soggy,' Snow replied. 'I think they let them stew before they wheel them out.'

Anna laid a hand over her stomach. She had started suffering from nausea, not just in the morning either. Thankfully today seemed to be a good day. _Don't throw up in front of everyone..._

They found everyone already assembled, even Belle and Adam. It seemed they had arrived earlier than Belle had said at the store on Friday. Elsa sat next to Aurora, and smiled at her sister as the four walked up to the large table. Anna returned it with a toothy grin of her own. _Looks like she's happy._

'Hey!' Aurora greeted them. On her other side sat Cindy, who Anna had not seen in months. While Aurora was a dirty blonde, various shades of brown streaked her loose hair, Cindy had a crown of pure gold, pinned up behind her head in an elaborate display. She gave the newcomers a polite smile as Aurora half-stood to reach over the table and throw her arms around Anna.

'I'm so glad you could make it!' Cindy said.

Truth be told Anna had never warmed to Cindy. She had always been more of Elsa's friend. They had met at uni (Cindy studied Business Economics) and remained in contact after graduation. Anna found her somewhat snobbish (Cindy was from a considerably rich family. More so than Aurora).

'Wouldn't miss this for the world,' Anna replied, seating herself between Punz and Belle. Opposite her sister. Elsa continued to smile, but her expression had a trace of reservation. She looked well; no trace of the tiredness that seemed to plague her this past week.

_Perhaps mending bridges with Aurora has worked out._

'Belle was telling us about growing up in Marseille,' Aurora explained.

'I envy you,' Cindy said to Belle. 'Growing up on the Mediterranean! How wonderful!'

'It wasn't all wonderful,' Belle laughed. 'You haven't met my family. Try living with them for over twenty years.' The comment reminded Anna that Belle was almost ten years older than her. _I hope it isn't too weird for her and Adam to be hanging around with a bunch of twenty-somethings. _It didn't appear to be the case; Belle seemed to be enjoying herself, and Adam and Eugene were locked in a conversation about football that went completely over Anna's head (although Elsa appeared to know what they talking about, as Anna noticed her nodding and offering comments every now and again).

'So Elsa,' Anna tried after everyone had settled and the food had been ordered. 'Everything OK?'

'Hmm?' Elsa looked at her in surprise. 'Yes. Why you ask?'

'We haven't really had a chance to talk this past week. Been busy?'

'Somewhat.' Elsa looked away. Seemingly avoiding the subject.

'Elsa.'

'What?'

'There isn't anything you're not telling me, is there?'

Those bright blue eyes returned to her. Elsa seemed genuinely hurt that Anna would suggest such a thing. 'I...' she began, then faltered. As if whatever she was going to say now didn't matter.

'Elsa,' Aurora said, having apparently listened in on this private conversation between the sisters. 'Tell her. Please.' Elsa looked at Aurora. Almost pleading. 'For me,' Aurora persisted.

Elsa relented; 'I had another episode at Aurora's,' she said. 'After meeting for breakfast, we went back to her place. I... I totally freaked out. Apparently I shut down. Like... totally turned off. I can't remember anything. Just like sixth form.'

'Elsa...' Anna whispered.

They both became aware that the conversations around them had stopped.

'I'm seeing a psychiatrist,' Elsa said. Hunching her shoulders up as if it would block out the gazes of everyone around her. 'Taking medication for it, as well. I didn't want to bother you with-'

'How could you even think that?' Anna asked. 'You could _never _bother me! You're my best friend!'

Elsa looked on the verge of tears.

'Hey, that's cool,' Snow suddenly said, 'we're shrink buddies!'

'Yeah, I guess we are,' Elsa smiled at the smaller woman. 'You want to compare pills?'

'I bet I take more than you.'

'Well this conversation has taken a turn for the weird,' Aurora laughed. 'Still happy you came?' She asked of Belle and Adam.

'Very,' Belle replied. She smiled at Anna.

Anna smiled back. She then reached over and took her sister's hands. _I'm here for you, Elsa._

The moment was broken by an exclamation from Punz: 'Yay! Food's up!'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Wasn't sure I'd get this done in time for today; re-wrote the whole chapter at the last minute. If it feels like it ends a little abruptly, that's because we'll cover Elsa's half of the past week in her chapter (up next Sunday), and continue the meal scene from her point of view. _


	8. In Which Elsa is Analysed

**IN WHICH ELSA IS ANALYSED**

'Elsa, I'm quite happy for us to sit here in silence. If that is what you want,' she said with a tone of voice that suggested there was nothing in the world she would like more. 'At the risk of sounding cliché; it's your money, it's your time, and it's entirely your choice what you do with them both.' She waited a few moments for Elsa to make a response, then added; 'I am here to help _you, _Elsa, and I will do that in any way I can.'

The Sunday after Elsa's meltdown at Aurora's flat she received a call on her mobile. _'Hello,' _said the voice on the other end, _'is this Miss Elsa Lee?_' Elsa confirmed that yes, it was, and who was this person? _'I'm Dr. Ursula Cecaelia. A patient of mine requested that I offer my services to you. This is not normally the type of call that I would make, but as a personal favour to Miss Rose I'm reaching out to you.' _

This hadn't come as a surprise to Elsa; she had been pre-warned by Aurora earlier that morning. _'Take it, Elsa,' _Aurora had said over the phone. _'I'll pay for the bills. Just... please. Talk to someone about this. Someone completely impartial. It'll do you good. Please.'_

Elsa couldn't say no. To either of them.

So on Wednesday Elsa found herself in the office of Dr. Cecaelia. A large woman with short grey hair, the doctor sat in a thick leather armchair. Her black dress spilling over the edge to hang around her voluminous ankles in eight jagged clumps. Elsa had claimed one of the three chairs opposite to slouch upon. Playing with her hair, which hung loose around the folds of her hoodie. Her roots were starting to grow out. It was like her head leaked dirt out onto the white. _Perhaps I should re-dye my hair? _she wondered.

'It's not my money.' Elsa didn't look at the psychiatrist when she spoke. 'My friend's paying for this session.' _And the next... and the next... until I get better, she said._

'That's very kind of your friend. Could you tell me about her?'

_Yeah, that's a great start. Lets go straight for one of the five pillars of my fucked-up life. _'Aurora is...' Elsa twisted blonde strands of hair between her fingers. 'She's been my friend for a while. Since year seven.' _I was a shy girl. I'd hide at the back of the classroom while all the other kids laughed, teased and joked with each other. I didn't know what to say to them. Talking to people didn't come as easily to me as it did to everyone else. Especially Anna. _'I didn't have friends until Aurora. Except my sister, that is.'

As Elsa spoke Cecaelia took notes in a large binder with a thick gold pen that bounced across the pages at a startling rate. 'How would you describe your relationship with your sister?'

'Close... I suppose.' _We used to be. We used to tell each other everything. _'Definitely when we were younger. See.. we moved around a lot as kids. Dad worked as a free-floating manager. He would be called in to fix up a store that wasn't doing so well. That often required him to stay for several months. To make sure everything was sorted out, you see. Company paid for everything; housing, relocation, you name it. But... it meant that Anna and I didn't really have time to settle down. Make friends. That sort of thing. Not for several years.'

'Is Anna older or younger than you?'

'Younger. Three and a half years.'

'So throughout this period of your life Anna was a constant.'

'I guess... yeah. She was always there.' _Always by your side. Ready to defend you against anyone. _'She's... Anna listens. She understands. It's... it's the best part of her.' _It's what I love._

'You said "was", but then you describe her best features in the present tense. Why?'

'I...' The flesh of her hands turned almost white with the strength of her grip upon herself. 'I.. don't know why I said that. I fuck up talking sometimes. Sorry.' _No change there._

'Lets talk about Aurora. What happened that you were able to make a friend other than Anna?'

'Dad changed jobs. I guess he realised moving around all the time wasn't working out for us. He's never said anything, but...' Elsa released her hands and bounced them on the arm of the chair. 'Can I have a drink of water?'

'Of course.' Cecaelia walked to a table by the windows of her office where a clear plastic jug with water and a couple of plastic cups had been arranged. She poured Elsa a cup. A few ice cubes dropped into it, rattling against the sides. After handing it to Elsa and returning to her seat, she gave Elsa a few moments to drink before she asked 'how did you feel when Aurora became your friend?'

'Wonderful. It was... someone else to talk to. Someone else who made me feel... wanted'.

'What change did Aurora bring into your life?'

'I wasn't lonely any more.'

'You felt lonely with Anna?'

'What? No, no I didn't meant that.' Elsa scratched the backs of her hands as she hastily spoke. 'I mean... Anna is family... she's... you kinda expect her to be there, you know? She was – I mean _is _a great friend, but when your only friend is your sister...' _It's sad and pathetic. _'I wanted other friends. Like Anna had. It didn't matter to her that we moved around so much. After a day she'll have loads of kids following her around. Then there's me. The girl three years above her. Hanging around with this kid. It's... sad.' _I was a tall and gangly girl. Stuck out amongst Anna and her friends like a freak. Couldn't be more out of place if I tried..._

'Did you try socialising with children in your own year?'

'Course I fucking did.' Elsa played with the plastic cup. Rattling the ice cubs around inside. 'People would laugh at me. Take the piss. So I didn't talk to them.'

'What did they say?'

'Call me the BFG,' Elsa said. 'You know? The Roald Dhal book? I grew quickly, while Anna took her time until a growth spurt in her mid-teens. I followed her everywhere. Compared to her I was a huge, gangly freak.' _My hair never did what I wanted, so I grew it long. Everyone saw this cheerful redhead, full of life and love, followed by a giant who hid behind her dirty brown hair. _

'How tall are you?'

'Five-ten.' Elsa pre-empted the comment; 'yeah I know it's not that tall. I just grew quickly. I was over five foot by year seven. Finished growing by year ten.'

'How did Anna react to these comments?'

'Anna... they loved Anna. She... she's warm. You know? She can talk to anyone and after a minute they'll be talking back like they've known her all their life. It didn't matter that we kept moving; she made friends at every school we went to. Still keeps in contact with a few of them. There's Merida, up north, that she still talks to.'

'And you found yourself unable to do the same?'

'No. I... I was tongue-tied as a kid. I couldn't... put my thoughts together fast enough. They would be talking, laughing, and by the time I'd thought up something cool to say everyone was talking about something else. So I never said much. I was the girl in the background. The tall freak that hid in the corner and watched everyone else be normal.'

'You felt excluded.'

'I felt dumb. Stupid.' _Why couldn't I be clever like the other kids? Why couldn't I laugh and joke like them? _'I couldn't... say much.'

'Couldn't? Or chose not to?'

Elsa thought about it. 'Probably the latter.' She looked up at the woman. 'So you're saying this was my fault?'

'Not at all. It's an understandable reaction to shy away from tasks that you find difficult. For you socialising was difficult. So you shied away from it. You say Anna is very social? How does this make you feel?'

'I wasn't jealous, if that's what you're getting at. I love my sister. She's amazing.'

'So you say.' Cecaelia shifted her bulk. 'You think very highly of your sister. You've mentioned her often during this session.'

'Yeah. She's everything I'm not. It's hard not to think of her and...' Elsa stopped.

'Do you feel as if you should act more like Anna?'

_Be wonderful? Not like this? Yeah, of course I think I should be more like Anna. Anna would know how to get a job with what I've got. Anna would know how to make Aurora love me. Anna would do everyone perfectly, because she's fucking perfect. All I am is... _'I feel I should be less of a fuck-up.'

'Is that how you see yourself?'

'You'd have to be retarded to see anything else.'

Cecaelia looked at her notes. 'When we first talked, on the phone, you mentioned you were having anxiety attacks. You told me you had one last Saturday. At Aurora's.' She looked up at Elsa. 'What were you thinking about when you first realised you were having an attack?'

Elsa felt cold. That voice she heard Saturday afternoon began to whisper in her head; _you dumb bitch, Elsa. You dumb, stupid bitch. You- _'I wanted to get out.'

'Why?'

'I... it was uncomfortable being there.'

'What made it uncomfortable?'

Elsa said nothing. Her hands twisted within each other.

'Elsa, I'm here to help you. I'll pass no judgement, you have my promise on that.'

'I hit her,' she whispered. So quietly that Elsa wasn't sure she had heard herself speak.

Cecaelia heard it, however: 'what led to that?'

'She was trying to comfort me. I hit her. It was... I don't know why I did that.' Elsa flung her hands out. 'See? This is what I mean. What kind of fuck-up hits a person when they're _trying to help her_?'

'Elsa, what were you thinking about when you had your anxiety attack?'

'I wanted to get out. Of the flat. I couldn't be with her. I _can't_ be with her!'

'Why can't you be with her?'

'Because I love her.'

'And does Aurora not return your feelings?'

'No.' Elsa realised she was crying. 'No she doesn't.'

Cecaelia regarded her for a moment. 'That wasn't what you were thinking about,' she said.

'No.'

'What were you thinking about?'

'That I'm a stupid fuck-up. A stupid, stupid, fuck-up.' Elsa clawed at her hair when she spoke.

'Why do you think that, Elsa?'

'Because I am! I can't... do normal things. I can't talk to people without fucking things up! I can't get a job like a normal person! I can't get a girlfriend! I can't do this shit! I can't do anything!'

'You said you went to university? What grade did you graduate with?'

'First. With honours.'

'Is that not an accomplishment? Does that not prove you can do something, and do it very well?'

'And look where that's got me! Nowhere! I've been unemployed for a year. I can't find a fucking job anywhere! I've tried to contact so many companies. I've been to so many interviews. I can't... I freeze up. I get tongue-tied. I stutter. I make a fool of myself. They don't hire me.'

'And this reinforces your belief that you cannot accomplish goals?'

'It fucking proves it. I'm a hopeless fuck-up.'

'Many people are unable to find work Elsa. This isn't a problem unique to you.'

'Anna found work. Anna fucking loves her boss,' Elsa said. _Who else could say that? A job they love with people they genuinely like working with? Of course Anna finds it..._

'Elsa. Are you comparing yourself to your sister?'

Elsa nods.

'So when Anna is successful at a task, and you are not. How does this-'

'I feel shitty OK? Is that what you want me to say? You have no idea what it's like living with her. To see her so happy. To see everything good happen to her. While I just get an endless parade of shit thrown in my direction, and the worst thing? I'm not jealous. I _can't_ be jealous. I love her! I fucking adore her! She's the single brightest thing in my life. I couldn't hate her if I tried. I think I'm _genetically_ _incapable_ of hating my sister. I want her to be happy. I want everything in her life to be perfect, but it fucking tears me apart inside, because all I can think about is why isn't this happening to me? Where's my fucking happiness?

She's with this guy, this perfect fucking guy. The nicest fucking guy you'd ever meet. And every time I see him with her all I can think is where's my girl? Where's the wonderful girl who'll walk into my life and make me happy like he makes her happy? And I so want it to be Aurora... because she does make me happy. We were watching some shitty programme round her place on Saturday, after my... episode, and she made a joke and I laughed and she looked at me... and I wanted to kiss her. It would be the perfect moment. But I can't get perfect moments in my life. _Anna_ gets perfect moments. I get karma's leftovers.'

Her face felt sore. Wet and damp with the tears that had flowed from the beginning of her tirade. 'I don't get perfect moments because I don't deserve them. Because I'm a coward. I'm stupid. I'm retarded. I'm a dumb, fucking bitch who doesn't deserve the people around me. I'm such a fucking waste of space. I should just lie down and fucking die...'

A silence descended upon the room after that comment. Cecaelia watched Elsa, while she returned that gaze with one blurred by the tears oozing from her. 'Have you tried?' the psychiatrist asked.

'To kill myself?' The laugh that burst from Elsa was bitter. 'Did you not hear me? I'm a coward. At uni I sat in a bath for three hours with a knife held over my wrist. I couldn't do it.' _No, you couldn't do it. You're a fucking waste of space who can't even do everyone the decency of killing yourself._

'Does anyone know of this?'

'I don't talk to my parents. My dad hates me. He's a pretty hardcore Christian. Thinks me being a lesbian makes me the spawn of Satan, or some such shit. Mum's too spineless to do anything against him.'

'What about Anna?'

'I... I've never told Anna about it.'

'Why did you try to kill yourself, Elsa? What happened?'

'I fell in love with my room mate.'

'And she didn't return your advances?'

'I didn't advance. I knew it was pointless to begin. She isn't gay.'

'There's plenty of woman who are, Elsa. Why not-'

'Because they're not perfect!'

'And Aurora and...'

'Esmeralda.'

'And Aurora and Esmeralda are?'

'Yes. They're beautiful, wonderful people,' her grip on her hands was painful as she spoke. 'They don't deserve me.'

'Elsa, I want to voice a possibility that I would like us both to consider together, as part of your path to resolving the turmoil that is causing your anxiety attacks,' Cecaelia said. 'May I do so?'

'Isn't that what Aurora's paying you for?'

Cecaelia smiled briefly, but then returned to a more serious demeanour. 'Is it a possibility that you are selecting women, perhaps unconsciously, that you know are unobtainable in love?'

'Why would I do that?'

'A multitude of reasons. A fear of becoming close to someone. To provide fuel for your belief that you do not deserve the affection of another. To punish yourself and enforce this belief that you are, as you chose to describe it, a 'fuck-up.' All these could explain this pattern of behaviour.'

'I'm _punishing _myself? Why would I fucking do that? Did you not hear me whine about wanting some _fucking_ happiness in my _fucking_ life?' Her voice rose to almost shout the last words.

To her credit Cecaelia did not react. She remained calm and composed, and waited until Elsa had settled back down into her chair before answering: 'I don't know why you would do that, Elsa.' She smiled warmly. 'That's what I hope we can discover during our sessions together. A reason _why _you are doing this, and how you can overcome it and be the person you want to be.'

* * *

Elsa only just listened to the people around her talk as she ate dinner at the _Clock and Candlestick. _Belle was recounting a story of her childhood in Marseille. A prank she and her brothers played on their two sisters. Something about hair dye; Elsa had missed the important details. Her attention was on Anna.

Her sister sat cuddled up to Kris. His arm protectively around her. They both listened to Belle tell her story with wide smiles on their faces. After several minutes Anna noticed her sister staring, and turned to face her. '_What?' _She mouthed. Bemused.

_'Love you.' _Elsa replied.

Bemusement turned into confusion. '_Love you too_.' Then she grinned.

Elsa felt something sharp hit her shin. _The little bitch_, she thought, but not maliciously. In fact she grinned back and returned the kick with one of her own, which earned Elsa a silent yelp from Anna.

Her sister leaned over the table and whispered 'you shouldn't kick a pregnant lady.'

She leaned forward. 'Too early to play that card. Try it again when you're huge.' Seeing the feigned shock on Anna's face made Elsa grin even more. Sitting back, Elsa sipped her wine and listened. As the story came to an end the bill arrived.

Payment was divided between the couples and the singles, with all except Elsa contributing to the evening's meal (even Snow produced her purse and produced two ten pound notes to cover her part of it. _That must be benefits money_, Elsa thought. _She doesn't work, she does volunteer work down at the charity shops on Storiford Main_). She watched the collation of money upon the printed bill with mixed emotions. _One day I'll stop being a fucking parasite_, she thought as Anna and Kris added their contribution. _One day I'll be able to provide for myself._

Something in her expression must have caught Anna's eye, as on the way out of the pub her sister slid her hand into Elsa's and squeezed tightly. 'Everything OK?' she asked. A reassuring smile on her face as she looked up at her sister.

'Yeah... everything's fine. That was pleasant. The meal I mean.'

'It was nice seeing everyone together.' Anna waved at Belle and Adam. The pair climbing into their car. 'See you on Monday!' she called out to them. To her sister she said 'what was that earlier?'

'Hmm?'

'That little display of affection.' Anna grinned. 'Don't get me wrong; it was nice. Was it something your new shrink recommended? A little daily medicine to fix Grumpy Elsa?' She moved closer and whispered the last two sentences, perhaps understanding how self-conscious Elsa was about seeing a psychiatrist.

'Shut it,' Elsa grinned. 'No, I just... just felt a little guilty.'

'About what?' Anna stopped walking and pulled Elsa closer to her. They almost looked each other in the eyes; Anna was only a couple of inches shorter than Elsa.

Elsa forced herself to look back at those turquoise eyes as she answered. 'I've been giving you a lot of shit lately. I felt a little guilty about it. Just wanted you to know... you know.'

'That you love me? Despite being my shit-giving sister?'

'Yeah.'

Anna moved forward and wrapped her arms around Elsa. Tucking her head just under Elsa's chin. 'I'll never stop knowing that, Elsa,' she said as Elsa's arms locked around her. 'It gets me through the day. It keeps me grounded.'

Over her sister's head Elsa spots Aurora standing with the others (Cindy, Punz, Eugene, Kris and Snow) several feet away. As the group talked amongst each other Aurora noticed Elsa and grinned as she saw them. _I'm sorry, Aurora, _Elsa thought as she forced a smile in return. _I don't know what my feelings are for you. Am I doing this to hurt myself? Or do I genuinely love you? _Elsa wasn't sure which one frightened her the most.

Then her sister said the words that terrified her more.

'You're my rock,' Anna whispered.

It was such an honest confession, but it broke Elsa's heart.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Phew. Longest chapter yet. I've decided to upload chapters as and when I've finished them. Bit irregular, but it might mean two chapters a week in the future rather than the slow-paced one-per-week schedule I'm maintaining at the moment. No promises, though. I'm not going to rush anything. ;) _


	9. In Which Anna Has Father Issues

**IN WHICH ANNA HAS FATHER ISSUES**

'You don't have to come round every day,' Snow said as she opened the door wider for Anna.

Slipping past to hang her coat up, Anna flashed her friend a grin. 'No, but I live two minutes away. It's no trouble, Snow. Wasn't planning to do anything else with my Sunday afternoon.' She paused, 'I meant it's not though seeing you isn't wonderful, it is, I just...' Anna trailed off and looked at Snow with embarrassment. 'Any chance I can start that again and try not to put my foot in it?'

Snow didn't seem amused; 'I'm taking my meds, Anna. You don't have to check up on me.'

As her friend talked Anna had moved into the maisonette. Half-way into the kitchen she stopped and looked at her friend with sadness. 'Yeah, I do. I almost lost you, Snow.'

Snow made to answer, then closed her mouth and stared at the floor. Her doll-like face cold and angry. After a moment of awkward silence between them Snow softened; 'do you want a drink? I went shopping yesterday. Got some chocolate powder and full-cream milk.'

Anna grinned. 'It's like you know me.'

In little time Snow's small kitchen was filled with the aroma of hot chocolate. As Anna sipped and listened to Snow talk about her eagerness to resume volunteering (she divided her time between the privately-run charity shop on the main street, Shady Oaks Retirement on the edge of Storiford, and the homeless shelter at the church at the end of Snow's road) she couldn't help but notice the state of the kitchen. Orange supermarket bags, bloated with unopened packs, boxes and containers, piled up on the counters around her. Several cupboards were missing doors. Others were stained with who-knows-what. The marks running down the sides like tears. Around the sink plates, bowels and pans had been stacked up rather than washed. The sink itself was covered in rust.

'Snow,' Anna said, looking around. 'Are you OK living here by yourself?'

Her friend realised what had caught her eye; 'I'm fine. I don't mind the mess.'

'Really?' Anna watched Snow carefully. Even on medication the woman could sometimes change her mood almost instantly. 'You know... I can help out. Give you a hand cleaning the place-'

'I'm fine Anna!' Snow snapped. A brief burst of fury. She seemed to immediately regret it; 'I'm sorry. Look, I appreciate your concern,' she smiled, 'but I'm fine. Really, I am. I'm taking my meds, I feel fine, the seven little shitbags aren't in my head, I'm good. I'm really good.'

'OK, Snow.' Anna wasn't convinced. She had bounced back before, only to slowly slide back into depression. Eventually she would refuse to take her medication again. _Are we really going to do this all over again, Snow? Each time you get worse and worse. You almost died! I don't want to know what you'll do next time. _'OK. I'm glad to hear it.' _I'm going to fucking watch you. I'll never take my eyes off you again. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you._

'So Elsa's in therapy?' Snow seemed delighted by this news. 'I'm surprised. She's always seemed so together.'

_I wish... _'She's been having problems with her confidence,' Anna said. 'Being out of work since she left uni has... been tough.' _Why? She's a fucking genius! People should be lining up _begging _to give her work! My sister is the smartest, most talented person I know. It's not fucking fair that _I _should be the one with the job while she rots in her room. No job, no girlfriend, and..._

Hans. Rare was the moment when Anna didn't feel concerned for her sister. The stories she heard about Storiford's most infamous son weren't pretty. Rumours abound that the corpse they fished up in the lake was his work. The police had questioned him, of course, but Hans always had an alibi. _I should tell the police. But what would they do to Elsa...? _She couldn't have a criminal record. That would destroy any chance of the career her sister deserved.

There were the dolls their grandmother had left them. Anna had them valued a year back. In secret, as she knew how sensitive Elsa was to the idea of selling them. She had been surprised to discover how valuable they were. _I wouldn't need to sell all of them. I could keep one or two. The others will more than pay off Hans. _

Which led to her other disturbing thought: what had Elsa done to owe so much to him?

_I get the feeling my sister isn't telling me the whole story._

That was the most disturbing thought. Elsa was keeping secrets from her.

'I haven't worked a day in my life,' Snow said. While mostly cheerful, Anna thought she heard a slight edge of sadness in Snow's voice. _I sometimes forget how hard it must be for her to live with her condition. I wonder what she wanted to do with her life? _'Has she tried volunteering? It'll look good on her CV, I bet.'

'Hmm...' Anna nodded. 'Good point. I'll mention that.'

'How are you holding up? With the pregnancy?'

'It's early days, Snow,' Anna replied with a smile. 'Been talking to Ariel. She tells me the fun starts soon.'

'Oh, you got back in contact with her?'

'Yeah. Cindy patched me through; they've kept in touch since Ariel moved out to Australia,' Anna said. 'She said she'll contact me on Skype tomorrow morning, which would be,' Anna did the maths, 'ten tonight, if she's calling at eight in the morning Monday...' she gave Snow a confused look.

Snow grinned. 'Would be nice to see her again. What's her daughter's name?'

'Melody.'

'That's beautiful.' Snow took on a dreamy expression. 'What are you going to call yours?'

Anna was taken aback. _I've... not actually thought about that. _'I don't know.'

'Aww... that's no fun. You'll have to think of names!' Snow leaned over the table and took hold of Anna's hands. 'Exotic names! Not boring London names like John, Pete, Laura... _fun_ names!'

'I'll try think of a few,' Anna said with a laugh. 'Any ideas?'

'Oswald!'

'That's... I'll take it under consideration. And if it's a girl?'

'Oswaldina!'

'OK, now you're just taking the piss.'

Snow looked sly; 'you know I only have a sense of humour when I'm on my meds.'

'OK, OK!' Anna raised her hands in surrender. 'I'll step back off your case, but...' she took Snow's hands in her own again, 'please, Snow. I know it gets hard. I know there'll be days when you wake up and the last thing you want to do is feel like shit, but however bad it gets, Snow, the side effects are a thousand times better than listening to those voices.' She squeezed Snow's hands. 'They get in our way. They get between us, Snow. Do the drugs do that?'

'No,' Snow admitted. Staring at Anna with moist eyes.

'I don't want to loose you.' Anna smiled. 'You're my friend. I don't like loosing friends.'

'We've lost a few of them, haven't we?'

'And now I'm getting them back.'

* * *

'OK, try it now,' Kris said as he returned the laptop to Anna.

She sat cross-legged on her bed, with Kris on the edge beside her, and balanced the laptop between her knees. Pushing the screen back so that Ariel's face could be seen. 'Hey!' she said, 'the image has cleared up. Thanks Kris.'

'See? I told you it was probably your settings.' When Ariel spoke her south-England origins could be heard fighting a battle against an upstart east-coast Australian accent. She would pronounce the same syllables with different inflections depending on how excited she was. Anna found it cute.

'OK genius,' Anna said. 'Love the hair.'

For as long as she had known Ariel the redhead had done nothing more adventurous with her long hair than tie it back in a single ponytail. The woman who looked back from the screen had dozens of red dreadlocks that spilled over her bare shoulders (Anna was jealous to note that Ariel seemed to tan quite well). Thick purple glasses balanced on the edge of a nose pierced by a single silver ring, while a pair of sunglasses were pushed up atop her head.

'Thanks! Got it done a couple of months back,' Ariel said. 'Mostly as a dare. I kind of like it now. I think I'll keep them. Bitch to keep clean though, especially with all this diving lately.'

'How's the studies?'

'Fucking amazing! You should come out here. We've got sun, surf-'

'Great Whites?' Kris interjected. Anna gave him a look. He returned it with a cheeky grin.

'Oh my God they are so beautiful!' Ariel almost squealed. 'Seriously, Anna, you have to see one.'

'I've seen _Jaws_.'

Ariel grew serious. 'That film did so much damage. You know sharks don't like the taste of human, Anna. They only bite us because that's how they explore the world. It's like a shark hand-shake, only we're soft and squishy and they have sharp teeth.'

_Hurting people they just want to talk to. Why does that sound familiar...?_

'So it this a permanent thing?' Anna asked. 'Australia, diving and sharks?'

Ariel levelled her hand to the camera and waggled it uncertainly. 'For the time being, at least.'

'Would be nice to see you,' Anna said. 'I mean,' she gestured at the camera above the laptop screen, 'I can see you now, but... it would be nice to see you in the flesh. Face-to-face. You know. Like the old days. Before we got jobs and responsibilities and shit.'

'Yeah, fucking jobs and responsibilities.' Ariel laughed. 'You know, I'd love to visit! I'm planning to come home for Christmas to see the family, and because there's something really _wrong_ about opening your Christmas presents in summer.' Ariel laughed. 'I'd rather be snuggled up indoors while it's pissing down outside.' She looked bemused with herself. 'Is it odd to be missing English weather?'

'Yes, yes it is. You're weird.' Anna laughed with her friend. 'So tell me about your day...'

* * *

Almost two hours later Anna closed the laptop and gave Kris a sly look. 'You've been very patient.'

'I know,' he said with a smile. 'Which is why I'm going to hate myself for spoiling the mood, but I think it's about time I met your parents.'

Her face fell. 'Yeah... that kinda killed any desire I had to fuck you.' She rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hands and groaned. 'But you're right. I've been putting this off too long.'

'Anna,' he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, 'I'm in this for the long run. We're having a baby! I'm here, for you, for our child. I'm not going anywhere.' At her look he hastily added; 'except for a smile diversion in New York for a year or so. But...' He cupped her face with his other hand. 'You've just spent the last hour talking to someone in Australia. You can do that with me. Any time you need to. I'm here Anna.'

She kissed him. 'That was sweet, but I'm not sure what this has to do with my parents.'

'Trying, and horribly failing, to get along with my girlfriend's parents is a very important step on the road to commitment.'

'Yeah, you might want to re-think this roadmap of yours.'

'Anna, I highly doubt they're as bad as you keep making them out to be.'

'You _really_ don't know my father.' Anna looked at his expression and relented. 'Fine, I'll call them in the morning. It's your funeral.' She dropped back on the pillow. 'Not even born yet and my child is down one parent.'

'Now that's just being melodramatic.'

* * *

Morning came and Anna reluctantly phoned her parents. 'Hey dad,' she greeted the familiar voice that answered the phone. 'It's Anna.' She watched her sister make herself breakfast. Elsa didn't seem to be interested in this conversation.

'Huh.' Agdar Lee somehow summed up two decades in a single syllable.

Anna fought back a retort. _How disappointed were you, dad, when your precious Elsa, the golden child, turned out to be one of those faggots you so fucking despise? Do you hate that I'm the one left behind? Your stupid daughter, who failed sixth form, never got into uni, never did as well as Elsa. _

_Who's got herself pregnant with a guy she's known only a year?_

_Yeah, you'll fucking love that..._

'How's things?' Anna tried to keep her voice cheerful. To not let the unease through.

'What do you want, Anna?' Agdar went straight to the point. 'More money? What mess have you got yourself into this time?'

_Oh fuck you too! _'Nothing, dad!' _Hah! _'Everything's fine!' A loud snort came from Elsa. Her sister settled down on the sofa and stuffed cereal into her mouth. Anna shot her a look and mouthed _'not now!' _'I just thought I'd ring up and see how it's going up there. How's the weather?'

'Miserable.'

Anna knew better than to wait for anything more. 'And mother?' Elsa stopped eating to listen.

'Fine.'

_So wonderful talking to you, father dearest. I enjoy every stunning conversation we have with each other. Like last Christmas, when you told me, in front of Punz and her parents, no less, that I was a 'burden' you'd have to bear for having a lesbian daughter. Like I'm the punishment for your hatred of Elsa. _

_Fuck. You. _'So... there was something I wanted to talk to you two about...'

'You _have _got yourself into trouble.'

Anna bit down hard and forced the smile, despite knowing her father could not see her face. 'No! I want you to meet my boyfriend. Well, he wants to meet _you_. I said I'd see if you guys want to make the trip south for the day. We could go out for a meal. The four of us. I could ask Elsa if she wants-' Elsa looked up at her. Anna couldn't decide whether it was fear or hope she saw within those blue eyes.

'No.'

'No to meeting the boyfriend, or-'

'Elsa,' Agdar snapped. 'Your mother and I will be happy to see this new man of yours,' he said in a tone of voice that suggested anything but. 'Is he a good man?'

'Yes! Kris is wonderful. Kind, caring-'

'Huh.'

'You'll like him.' _You'd better. _

'I hope you're respecting the Lord in your relationship.'

_Perhaps. He gave me a kid out of wedlock. _'Of course, dad,' Anna lied, and hated herself for doing so. 'This flat is a sin-free zone.' Another snort arose from her sister. Anna glared.

'Huh.' Agdar was the master of the monosyllabic reply. 'We can make Friday.'

'Friday's wonderful! I'll find a really nice restaurant and let you both know when we'll meet. Will you be needing a place to stay?'

'We'll book an overnight lodge,' Agdar replied. 'We'll talk later. Your mother's burning the eggs.'

'OK.' Anna looked at her sister. 'Dad.'

'What?'

'Elsa misses you.' Her sister displayed no emotion at that.

'I doubt it.' He hung up.

Anna put the phone down. 'Well, that's that.'

'What did he say?' Elsa asked.

'Hmm?'

'About me. What did he say?'

Anna sat down beside her sister. 'I'll keep trying. I promise. He can't hate you forever. He's dad.'

'He's dad. He _can_ hate me forever.' Elsa looked at her. 'How can you keep doing this?'

'He's our father, Elsa. I have to.'

Elsa looked at her. So much emotion swam in those blue eyes that Anna wondered if she'd ever know what her sister was feeling. _Please Elsa, talk to me. Talk to me like we used to. Open the door and let me in. I want to know you again. _Her sister opened her mouth to talk-

The phone rang.

Elsa looked away. Reluctantly Anna answered; 'hello?'

'Anna?' It was Jasmine. 'Amazing news! Meet at mine in an hour?'

Anna tried to catch Elsa's eye, but her sister stubbornly stared at her empty cereal bowl. 'Sure.'

* * *

Jasmine was wearing a wide smile when she opened the door. 'They've found him!' she exclaimed, taking Anna by the hand and literally dragging her across the threshold. 'Fort Buffalo Junction. The British Embassy phoned an hour ago. They've been chasing the CIA for info this past week! We've found him!' She squeezed Anna tightly.

Gasping for breath, Anna disentangled herself and asked 'how does that help us?'

'That's what I said!' Mulan poked her head out from the living room to look at the both of them. 'I told her not to get too excited! Yes, we know where Al is. However he's a long way from home and we still don't know on what charges they're holding him!'

'They don't need charges! They're fucking paranoid over there!' Jasmine exasperated. 'God, I can't walk down any street in my _hijab_ without people looking at me like I'm about to yell _'Allahu Akbar' _and blow up half of Storiford, and my friend Sadira says it's only worse over there.'

Anna frowned. 'I've never seen you in an _hijab_.'

'I wear it occasionally,' Jasmine snapped. 'When my parents are visiting... anyway, that's beside the point!' Her expression changed; 'do you want a drink? I bought some instant hot chocolate the other day.'

'Yeah, she had a panic attack the other day when she realised she hadn't got any,' Mulan said as she leant against the wall and grinned at the pair.

'You two make me sound like a drug addict.' Anna rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway.

'Where's Kris, anyway?' Jasmine asked when she led the way into the kitchen.

'At work. It's Monday, remember?' _Feels strange not to be at work today, but Belle needs help this weekend. _So she had today and Friday off instead.

'Oh, fuck. Yes. You're right.' Jasmine blinked, confused and surprised as she prepared the drinks.

'I keep telling her to get some sleep,' Mulan said to Anna as they watched Jasmine. 'She hasn't had more than one or two nights' decent sleep since this all started.'

'I'm fine!' Jasmine said. 'Stop worrying about me. Start worrying about Al.'

'Can't we do both?' Anna asked. 'Is there a limit on the amount of concern we're allowed? I want to see Al back here. Safe and sound. I also want to see you get some rest, 'cause, no offence, you kinda look like shit.' She smiled to soften the blow. 'I also want to see Snow stay on her medication, clean up her place, and get better. I want to see Elsa get a job, be happy with someone special, and make up with dad. I want to see my family get better, so my son or daughter doesn't have to grow up with all this shit we're currently going through.' _I want to be honestly happy for a change..._

Jasmine stood looking at the half-made drinks on her counter for several minutes before she spoke again. 'You worry too much.' She looked up at Anna and smiled. 'Let me finish making you a drink, then I'll get some sleep. I promise.'

'Good. 'cause between me and Mulan I reckon we could force you down and tie you to your bed.'

'Kinky.'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **This one was fast. Can't promise the next one will be out just as quickly. Pity, as we'll finally meet Hans. ;)_


	10. In Which Elsa Has a Friendly Chat

**IN WHICH ELSA HAS A FRIENDLY CHAT WITH HANS**

Storiford by night was a neon-glazed land of drunken laughter and choice four letter words hurled across the streets by revellers of both genders as they made winding tracks between the many night clubs throughout town. There was a time when Elsa would be hitting (or, to be honest, reluctantly trudging) the scene with Anna. Her sister loved night clubs, and would quite often flit between them all until the early hours of the morning. Then they would both stumble (Anna drank to socialise, and Elsa drank to forget she couldn't) back to Anna's flat just as the first rays of sun poked between the rooftops of the council estate, and crash for the rest of the day on their separate beds.

Elsa reflected on those memories as she walked with Aurora. They had just left the restaurant, and Elsa was still trying to hide her annoyance at seeing Aurora pay for the whole meal. Her friend had swiped the bill the instant the waiter had placed it on the table. Elsa didn't have a chance to see how much the meal had cost.

_Couldn't have been cheap_, she thought. _That wine wasn't the usual shit they serve around here. It actually tasted like wine. _She licked her lips and was rewarded with a faint after-taste.

Aurora had lit up a cigarette and was taking her first draught. The way her lips formed around the end stirred up a warmth deep inside Elsa. It only grew with the subtle movements of Aurora's lips as she released the inhaled smoke through them.

She noticed Elsa staring; 'oh, sorry.' A pack of Flora's was held out to her. 'Want one?'

To mask her embarrassment Elsa took one. _Jesus fuck, _she thought, _I'm so frustrated I could cum just by watching her smoke. _A lighter was held out. Elsa leant forward and ignited the end, shielding the cigarette from the gentle breeze with a hand. She took her time smoking, trying to take her mind off her sexual frustrations. Small wafts of smoke drifted past her eyes as they resumed walking.

'Didn't know you smoked.'

'Occasionally.' Elsa smiled. 'I seem to collect bad habits. It's like my hobby. Maybe this shrink you have me seeing's got a point.'

'What did she say?' Aurora quickly added 'I mean, if you want to talk about it.'

'Nah... it's OK...' Elsa stared at the glowing embers as she spoke. 'She thinks I might be punishing myself.'

'What for?'

'Hell if I know.' A long draught served as punctuation to that response.

They walked in silence for a few dozen metres, before Aurora said 'I remember your sister being a right stoner when we were at uni. Didn't she used to pester you to bring back that cheap shit what's-his-name sold. You know, the really skinny dude who was doing an MA in chemistry...'

'Oh... Facilier?'

'Yeah, him.' Aurora laughed. 'Remember when she got totally stoned on your birthday?'

Elsa grinned. 'I do. Shame Anna can't.' They both laughed at that. 'She swore off weed after that.'

'Shame.' Aurora tossed her cigarette. 'Stoned Anna is funny Anna.'

'You saying my sister isn't funny?' Elsa wasn't offended, merely curious.

'She tries too hard.' Aurora linked her arm with Elsa. 'While you don't try enough.'

'Yeah...' Elsa looked away from her friend and said nothing else.

Neither did Aurora, and the two walked in silence for half the main street. Ignoring the groups of revellers outside the prominent night clubs and bars that were still open. Several called out to them, slurring what could be construed as vulgar compliments to their beauty. Neither of the women paid any of them attention. Passing an off-license, its neon lights glittering off the wet pavement, Aurora said 'fancy a night cap?'

'Sure.'

It transpired that Aurora's idea of a night cap was a bottle of TURBO each. An alco-pop drink that tasted like the unholy fusion of candy, vodka, and peppermint with an after-taste that still refused to leave days later.

'I no longer know you,' Elsa dryly commented as she knocked back her bottle.

'Fuck you, I love these,' Aurora grinned and gave her friend a light shove with her shoulder.

Elsa made to return the affection when a familiar face stood out amongst the crowd. It was Wedge, one half of Hans' right hand. Which meant...

Elsa turned her head and saw Biggs behind them. Full beard and all. His wide face expressionless.

'We need to go,' Elsa said. She took Aurora's hand and practically dragged her friend across the road. Thankfully traffic down Storiford main almost died at this time, save for the taxis making their rounds of the inebriated.

'Elsa, what the hell?' Aurora exclaimed. 'That hurts! Elsa!'

Too frightened to reply, to calm her friend, Elsa hustled onwards. The street was reasonably busy of foot traffic that night; there was plenty of groups to slip past and place between herself and her pursuers. Looking over her shoulder Elsa lost track of the Weselton brothers. _Thank fuck for that... _allowing herself to calm down, Elsa didn't notice the hand that reached out and pulled her aside.

'Hey!' she cried out. 'Get off me!'

Seeing the man holding her, Elsa fell silent. Her face paled.

'Evening Snowflake,' Hans smiled at her. 'How 'bout you and me go for a little walk?'

'Get off her!' Aurora made to swing her handbag when she realised the two large figures behind. It seemed they had not lost either Biggs or Wedge, and the two huge brothers stood blocking the view of the two women from those around.

'Now, now, love,' Hans pulled Elsa closer to him, while watching Aurora. A wide smirk split his face. 'Lets not get too violent. It's a nice night. Stopped fucking raining, finally. Put that bag down and don't think about screaming out anything, either.'

'Or what?' Aurora snarled.

'Or, Miss Rose, your daddy might find out how you've been paying off those uni debts.'

Aurora's face drained of all colour. 'How-?'

'There isn't a thing that happens in Storiford that I don't know about. You think MM doesn't let me into her little schemes? We're good partners, we are. We go way back. So a couple of years back she calls me and says "Hans, love, you'd never guess my new girl." So I say "who? Rose Red?" and she is all like "only Stefan Rose's darling daughter," and I'm like "Stefan Rose, the _fucking MP?_"' Hans laughed. 'Oh, so fucking delicious, I tell yer.'

'What is he talking about?' Elsa asked Aurora.

'Oh?' Hans looked from one woman to the other. 'I thought you cunts loved to tell each other your darkest secrets. Someone's been keeping something hush-hush here. _Lovely_. So darling, I'd keep this all quiet if you don't want dear daddy learning what you've been up to.' He glanced down. 'Just out of interest; how much did you charge to spread those legs?'

'Fuck. You.' Aurora looked ready to tear him apart.

'Lets move this civil discussion somewhere more private, shall we?' Hans led the way past several closed shops to a narrow alley between two of them. The alley was dark and wet. Rubbish from the shops either side was piled up in a perfect obstacle against anyone noticing the group as they walked past. Hans pushed Elsa against the wall and held her there. Damp seeped through her coat. 'Alright, lets get to the crux of the matter here: where's my money, Snowflake?'

'I'm fucking working on it!' Elsa snarled. 'Twenty-k don't drop into anyone's lap like that! You got to work for that kind of money!'

'Oh, I'm fully aware of that,' Hans replied. He pressed harder against her shoulder. 'I got girls who rake in that kind of money every week. Nothing like MM's lot, of course, but they manage quite well amongst themselves. 'course, they're a lot prettier than you.' He twisted her hair through his fingers. 'Proper blondes, as well. Yer know, if you want to earn me the money...'

His other hand wandered down to tap against her groin.

'Go fuck yourself,' she hissed through clenched teeth.

'Now that ain't a way for a lady to speak,' Hans stepped back.

And swung low.

Elsa bent forward with the pain. Gasping for breath.

'You fucker-' Aurora began. Throwing herself against the grip of the Weselton brothers.

Hans raised a finger against her. 'Hey! None of that I said! Don't want your daddy to get into some hot bother, now, would we?' He took a step toward her and caressed the underside of her chin with a few fingers. 'Just remember. I know shit he'd never want anyone to hear. So be a good girl and keep your mouth shut.'

Aurora looked at the ground and wrapped her arms around herself. A cold wind blew through the alley, and both women wore only light jackets over their dresses. Elsa felt the chill but her fear kept her from reacting to it.

Hans turned his attention back to her. 'Now, where were we?'

'Hans, please. I need more time. Just a few more weeks. I can get the cash.'

'Oh I'm sure yer can. Twenty grand ain't hard to rustle up if yer friends with little miss Richie Rich here.' He jerked his head in Aurora's direction. 'But yer see, it's the _principle_ of the matters that I'm really concerned about.'

'What?'

'I've got a certain... _reputation_ to consider.' Hans leaned forward. His face barely inches from Elsa. 'People know me as a man of my word. Likewise, they know me as a man who likes the same done to him in return. Else I get a little angry. Now, see, it's this anger that keeps the wheels moving. If people don't pay their dues, I get angry. People pay their dues because they don't want me to get angry. This way the wheels turn, and business gets done. You understand?' Elsa nods. 'Now I don't like to get all worked up. I really don't.' She doubted it. 'But I will if I needs to. And when I am angry...'

Something cracked with the second punch. Pain shot through her chest, and Elsa crumpled to the pavement. Hard hands grabbed her hair and pulled her head up until she looked him in the eyes.

'I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY LEE!' Hans all but screamed into her face. His own was almost red with fury. A web of pulsing veins patterned his skin. 'THOSE PACKS YOU LOST COST ME A FUCKING CUSTOMER! A FUCKING GOOD MATE OF MINE! You know what he told me?' His voice lowered to almost a whisper. 'Just before he gave me this?' An immaculate shirt was pulled up to reveal a nasty scar beside his naval. 'He said "Hans, mate. We've had some good times. But until you can control these cunts you work with, I ain't gonna do business with you no more."' He stood up and sneered down at her. 'So much for bros before _fucking_ hoes...'

He started kicking her. Swift and painful. A hard-tipped shoe delivered into her stomach, again and again. No more words came from him except excited grunts. Curled up in a futile attempt to shield herself from his assault, Elsa could see nothing except the back of her eyelids. Her face crumpled in pain. Someone whimpered her name. _Aurora?_

'Hey, boss,' one of the brothers said. 'Keep it cool. We don't want her dead.'

'FUCK OFF WEDGE!' Hans snarled. 'I've got to put this cunt in her place.' Another kick. 'Don't. Ever. Fuck. With. ME!' Each word punctuated by another kick.

'_Stop it please!_' Aurora sounded so different. Her normally sultry voice distorted by terror. 'Please, no more! Please!'

'I think she gets the message.' That must be Biggs, who, unlike his brother, showed no fear of Han and often spoke his mind. 'You don't want another Jane, boss.'

'Fuck...' Elsa heard Hans step back. 'Yeah, yeah. I hear you.' His voice rose: 'twenty grand, Lee. No excuses. Get it together by next Friday or the boys here will come calling. I hear you're living with your sister. Nice piece of ass. Redhead too.'

'I like them ginger,' Biggs commented. 'But I like them _real_.'

'I think the carpet matches the curtains.'

'You...' Elsa spat blood as she talked. Flecks dribbled down her chin. 'You...'

'Me?' Hans crouched down beside her. Smug grin on his face.

'...fucking... touch... my sister...'

'You'll do _what? _Think the police will save you? Prison won't stop me. I know people. There's no place you can hide where I won't make your life a fucking misery.'

_It already is. _'Leave... my... sister... out of... this.'

'Get me my money, Lee, and she can live her pretty little life none the wiser.'

Elsa made to spit a reply, but nodded and looked away to the pavement now speckled with red.

'Alright boys,' Hans said as he stood up. 'I think she gets the message. Lets depart. We have much to do tonight. Pleasure doing business with you, Snowflake.' Hans smiled as the brothers released Aurora, who immediately rushed to Elsa. 'And you Miss Rose. Good luck to your dear daddy. Hope he wins. It'll be nice to have an MP in my pocket. Might make keeping the status quo around here a lot easier. I like this town, it makes me rich.'

With a courteous bow he leaves. The brothers following.

'Oh God, Elsa,' Aurora whispered as her hands gently explored her wounds. She ran to where her handbag had dropped and retrieved her phone. 'It's my friend,' she cried into it, 'she's been hurt...'

_I'm so sorry, Aurora. I'm so..._

_...sorry._

* * *

_My earliest memory is running in the garden. What garden, I don't know. Dad moved us around a lot, even before Anna was born. It might have been the place in Arenshire. That was a nice house. A big garden to get lost in. Huge fun when you're three years old. Not so fun for your pregnant mum, but what three-year-old thinks of that? It's funny seeing your huge mum waddle after you as you run down the garden, asking you to come back to the house and not get lost._

_But you want to get lost. You want the freedom! The house is too confining. You want to spread your wings and fly!_

_So I ran away from her. In hindsight I could only imagine how terrified mum was..._

_But then... twenty-twenty, and all that._

_At the bottom of the garden was a cluster of trees. That was all that divided the property line from the forest our row of houses backed up against. Yeah, they used trees to mark the end of the garden and the beginning of the forest. Real smart. So you're probably not surprised if I tell you I ran, and ran, and when I realised it, when it finally occurred to my dumb three-year-old self, I was already so deep in the forest I had no idea where the house was._

_I was lost._

_I was free, but I was lost._

_And alone. I remember that. Being so alone. Just me. Surrounded by these huge trees that went up and up and then spread out to cover the sky with their branches. It was dark, although I'm sure this happened at lunchtime. _

_So there I was. A three-year-old girl. Lost in the Arenshire (and I'm sure this was Arenshire) forest. No idea how to get back. My mum must have been loosing her mind, calling after me, but I couldn't hear her. _

_With no idea where to go I just sat there, on the dirty ground, and cried._

_I don't know how long I was there, but it was really dark when a light shone through the trees and my parents followed. Their torches found me, sitting there, my little blue dress all smeared with mud and my mother ran to me and swallowed me in the biggest hug I'd ever had (and will ever have...)_

_Dad picked me up and carried me back home. _

_I couldn't sleep. I just laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. What I thought I'd wanted had only left me frightened. Terrified. I didn't want to sleep out of fear of waking up back in the forest. That I would discover my rescue was the dream, and I was still there. All alone._

_Mum came into my room and comforted me. She told me when I disappeared into the trees she had a moment where she feared she would never find me. She was so frightened._

_But then she felt she knew where I was. She got dad and they set out together. Somehow she knew where I was. She led dad straight to me._

_How? I asked._

_Mum laid a hand on her stomach and smiled. Just a feeling here, she had said. _

_My earliest memory, Anna, is how you came to me when I was all alone. You knew where to find me. You've always known where to find me. It's... _

_...it's what I love about you. _

_I just wish I could always be there for you._

* * *

'Elsa?'

Still groggy from the drugs, Elsa took a few seconds to realise where she was, and why Anna was staring down at her with eyes that were raw from crying. 'Where...?' she tried to speak, but her voice was weak and barely audible even to herself. Looking down at herself, Elsa saw she was tucked in tightly beneath white sheets. At the foot of her bed Kris stood. It seemed he had been crying as well.

'Elsa...' Anna smiled. A strange expression to see on a face so filled with hurt. 'Hey...' she seemed to be stuck for what to say. 'How are you feeling?'

'Shit.' It was all Elsa could say. Turning her head she looked either side. Opposite Anna Aurora sat watching with a mixture of concern, terror, and... something else, that Elsa couldn't interpret. Beside her was Eugene. Leaning forward in his seat and trying a reassuring smile behind that silly goatee of his.

'Hey Popsicle,' he said. Only he called her that. A daft nickname born from a drunken stunt at one of the parties they attended at uni. Elsa couldn't even recall what she had done. 'Had us worried for a moment.'

'Just for a moment,' Anna quickly said, 'but then I was like "my sister's too tough to let some chav kick her to death. She'll be fine," and you are! You're gonna be fine! Doctor's say they've got it all under control. The bleeding's stopped. Little risk of permanent damage. Some bed rest and you'll be fine.'

_Chav? _Elsa glanced at Aurora. The fear in the other woman's eyes was all Elsa needed. 'Thanks...' she said to Anna. 'How... long...?'

'About six hours.' Anna shrugged. 'I've called Belle. She's giving me the day off so I can stay here with you. She says for you to get better. Also something about the police doing fuck-all about all the crime in the area, but...' Another shrug. 'I'm just glad you're OK. You had me worried there.' As she spoke the tears resumed. 'You looked pretty bad when I got here.'

'I called her,' Aurora clarified. 'I thought... you'd want her to be here when you woke.'

Anna nodded in confirmation. 'Oh my God, Elsa. Talk about shitty luck...' _Tell me about it... _

'Did you recognise the fuckheads who did this?' Kris asked. His hands gripped the end of the bed with such force they turned white.

_So you didn't tell them, Aurora? _Elsa shook her head.

'Don't worry, we'll find them,' Anna gently held Elsa's shoulder as she spoke. 'They can't get away with this. We'll make them pay. They'll fucking pay for this.'

There was a look in Anna's eyes that Elsa was frightened of. She had seen her sister angry before, but the rage that simmered behind the glistening turquoise, frame by puffy red, made Elsa fear for her sister. _God, Anna... please don't do anything stupid..._

'I thought I'd lost you...' Anna began to say, before she broke down.

_But I am lost. I'm still in that forest. I just can't see the trees any more. _

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_**_This one took a while. I kept changing my mind on how dark to write this chapter, and re-wrote it a few times. Experimenting with some first-person interludes, as well. Let me know what you think!_


	11. In Which Anna Hears Truth And Tells Lies

**IN WHICH ANNA HEARS TRUTHS AND TELLS LIES**

_I don't think dad and Elsa have ever gotten along. They would frequently argue in the house about anything and everything. What to watch on TV. When to go to bed. What to have for dinner. Stuff like that. Mum stayed out of it. Like fucking Switzerland. Letting them trade verbal blows until one or the other tired and stormed off somewhere to sulk. Normally dad, although Elsa could sulk like a champ..._

_When I was young I was like mum. I didn't want to intervene. I hated to hear them argue, but... _

_What could I do? I was the baby of the house. Little Anna. Good little Anna. Loveable Anna._

_I just sat and smiled._

_I've always tried to be a friend. To everyone. It's a silly goal, I know, but I can't stand the thought of someone not liking me. Call it narcissism, if you must. Childish naivete could work as well. But that's how it is. I have to be your friend. Have to. I can't stand the thought that you don't like me._

_I figure if people like me it's something everyone has in common. There would be no fighting. No arguments. I would be the glue that held everyone together. Not fucking Switzerland, but... Jesus, I can't think of a country metaphor here. Unless we're thinking Swiss banks, and everyone's invested in me..._

_OK, that got weird fast._

_What does this have to do with Elsa and dad? They were my first. The first time I tried to get two people to like me, and so like each other. I wanted to be a friend to Elsa. And we are. Best friends. I can't imagine my life without her, and I want her to always be a part of that life. _

_I tried to be a friend to dad. I... I don't know where I failed. I still don't. He shuts himself off from me and Elsa. Like he's afraid of something, and he hides behind that anger like it's going to protect him from whatever he's afraid of. _

_What did I ever do to him?_

_Like I said. They were my first. I've learned since then. So long as dad still talks to me there's a chance that he and Elsa can patch things up. I can patch things up. A chance we'll all be one happy family. We won't have moments like last Christmas. We won't have moments like..._

_Fuck. I don't know where I'm going with this. Or why I'm thinking about this right now. _

_Forget I ever mentioned it._

* * *

Anna stood outside the hospital and checked the messages on her phone. After much effort on his part Kris had finally managed to convince her to leave Elsa's side for a few minutes. Every moment she spent away from her sister felt unnatural. She longed to return to Elsa's bedside, but knew that Kris would become frustrated. His comment, made as she dragged herself from her bed in the early hours of the morning and still on the phone to Aurora, had lodged itself in her mind ever since.

_'What she done _now_?'_

She had known immediately that he referred to Elsa, but it wasn't until much later that she realised she hadn't told him about Elsa's assault until after she got off the phone. _He assumed. I get a phone call at an unholy time in the morning and he _assumes_ it's about Elsa. What does he think of her for that to be his go-to assumption?_

That worried Anna. She wanted Kris and Elsa to get along. _I can't be with Kris if Elsa doesn't like him, or vice versa. They _have _to like each other. They have to..._

_Huh. _Three missed calls from Snow. Made while Anna had been inside (she had turned her phone off as asked). With a growing sense of unease Anna called her. _Not you as well, Snow..._

Anna was relieved to hear Snow answer almost immediately. 'Anna!' The older woman sounded tired. _Not a good sign_. 'I've been trying to call you. Are you at work? Sorry if you are, but I needed to talk to you.'

'No, I'm not working today.' Anna felt relief flood throughout her. 'I'm at the hospital-'

'Oh my God! What happened!'

'Elsa... she's been hurt. Not badly, but they're keeping her here for a few days while they monitor her recovery.' Anna found it nice to talk to someone about it. 'Belle gave me the day off. Said I had to be here with Elsa.'

'Yeah, I agree. Look... I'm sorry I called. You're really busy-'

'Snow...' Anna soothed her voice. 'What's wrong? Why did you try calling me? Three times!'

'Meds aren't working today.'

'Do you want to come visit?' Anna knew that Snow liked company on the days when the drugs did not work. Hearing other people helped take attention away from her "Seven Demons." 'I know Elsa will love to see you.'

Snow laughed. 'I'm sure. We can resume our contest in who's more fucked up. Which hospital are you at?'

'St. Joshua.'

'Ah... that place. I'll be there as soon as I can.'

'See you when you get here.' Anna hung up.

There was a bench by the doors that Anna made use of, sitting with her head in her hands. Staring at the concrete beneath her feet with a thousand thoughts running concurrently. _Aurora's not telling me everything. Elsa's not the type to antagonise random drunks. It's Hans. It has to be. She met him last night. This is serious. This is fucking serious. I should go to the police, I-_

'Want one?'

Anna looked up at the pack offered to her. Aurora stood by the bench, one hand clutching her coat from the wind, the other holding out the pack of Flora's. Strands of dark blonde hair had been blown across her face, but Aurora did nothing to correct them.

'Outside a hospital?' Anna asked, but slid one out of the pack anyway.

Sitting down next to her Aurora lit the cigarette. Anna noted the briar thorn pattern engraved into the silver metal of the lighter before it disappeared into Aurora's coat pocket, after lighting another for Aurora.

The two women sat there on the bench and smoked in silence. Until Anna said; 'it was Hans.'

'Yes.' Neither of them looked at each other.

'Why are you covering for him?' Anna asked.

'He knows a few things about me.' Aurora retrieved the lighter and played with it as she spoke. 'A few things my dad can't afford to have made public.' She looked at Anna and clarified; 'he's running for mayor, you know?'

'Jesus, really?'

'It's not official, not yet. The announcement's being made tomorrow.'

'Can I ask?'

'I was an MM Girl.' Aurora stared straight back at Anna. Her expression almost daring Anna to call her out on it. To make a derogatory comment. When Anna didn't say anything Aurora said 'I needed the money,' as if to justify herself.

_She doesn't need to. _'Did you...?'

'Only once.' Aurora looked away again. 'Just the one. Everyone else... I was arm candy. Something to make them look good at parties, functions... one guy paid me to accompany him to a golf club. I spent the whole afternoon sitting in the club house with a bunch of snotty wives, listening to them talk about how awful their lives were. Spending their husbands' six-figure salaries and never having worked a day in their life. First world problems.'

Anna was bemused by that. 'Why...?'

'I gathered he was the only member of the board who was single at the time.'

'Does Elsa know about this?'

'Vaguely. Hans mentioned it last night. We haven't... talked about it yet.'

Anna stared at Aurora. 'What are you hoping to get from my sister?' Seeing Aurora's shocked face Anna continued; 'you know how she feels about you. What are you doing?'

'We can work this out. She's my friend.'

'She my sister, and I don't like seeing her hurt.'

'You think I do?' Aurora almost shouted. She lowered her voice. 'I hate seeing her like this, Anna. I referred her to my psychiatrist because I want her to get better. I want to see the Elsa I used to know back. Before she... before she became like this. I want to see the smart, quiet, confident girl I...' she stopped talking.

Watching her expression, Anna realised what she saw, and it hit her hard. _Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe it._ 'You're in love with her.' Aurora said nothing. 'Why aren't you...?'

'It's not that simple.'

'How can it be complex?' Anna asked, exasperated. 'She loves you. You obviously love her. What is stopping you?'

'It's never that simple.'

'It can be! I don't see why it can't! It's love!'

'No wonder you got pregnant,' Aurora muttered. She grew horrified at her own words. 'Oh, Jesus, Anna, I didn't mean...' her face fell into her hands. 'I say dumb shit when I'm stressed. I'm so sorry.'

'It's fine.' Anna stood up. 'As you said. You're stressed. I'm stressed. It's not the time to talk about this. Lets put it on hold for another day.'

'Anna-'

'Whatever shit you've got going here, Aurora, don't bring it into my sister's life. She doesn't need it with her own.' She paused before re-entering the hospital to add, in a softer tone, 'thanks for the smoke.'

Aurora just nodded.

Elsa was sitting up in bed when Anna returned, chatting happily with Kris. Anna took a moment to capture the scene. _It's nice to see them getting along. _Anna realised, with that thought, she was now seeing Kris as a permanent part of her life. He was no longer Kris, the insurance broker she met at a party over a year ago. He was Kris, _the father of my child. _To see him talk with Elsa (_Aunt Elsa_) like that was a strangely reassuring sight considering her earlier thoughts about his attitude towards her.

'Hey.' Kris noticed her. 'Elsa was just telling me about your twelfth birthday party.'

'Oh fuck off!' Anna said to her sister with a grin almost as wide as the one Elsa wore. 'You haven't got to the vomiting have you?'

Elsa looked guilty. 'Almost.'

'I'll stay to hear this,' Kris said, 'then I better see if work wants anything.' He glanced at the screen of his phone. 'I shouldn't have stayed this long as it is.'

'I appreciate it,' Elsa said. It struck Anna how pale her sister actually was. Her skin tone only just a shade darker than her dyed hair. _She needs to get out more. _Hospital staff had cleaned her face; last night's make-up removed, leaving wide blue eyes sunken in pink flesh beneath dark eyebrows. Her roots were growing out; an expanding cascade of earthy brown. _Mum has that same shade of hair. _

_You know, in a certain light, Elsa really does look like her._

'So...' Elsa resumed her story. Anna recalled the event. They had finally settled down in Storiford, and Anna had enough friends then to throw a party. It would be her first. Anna had been so excited to have everyone round that she ate too much and ended up coating the armchair in regurgitated cake, much to the amusement of everyone else.

Except her father. Anna still remembered looking up at him, vomit dribbling down her chin, to see him staring back with barely restrained rage. _It had been a new set of furniture. I think he was still paying it off. _Her mother had quietly taken him outside, leaving Anna to her embarrassment.

Elsa had rescued her from that. _'That was awesome!' _she had said. _'Do it again!' _That had started a chant – _'again!' 'again!' 'again!' _- from Elsa, Punz, Aurora, Ariel, and the others, and before long it had Anna grinning. Shame forgotten, fun returned. _You were fantastic that day, Elsa. Thank you for that. _

Whatever her mother had said to Agdar outside worked, for her father returned not too long after. A bucket in one hand and cleaning chemicals in the other. _'Outside,_' he had said. Simple, short, and said with something similar to...

'I swear he actually cracked a smile,' Elsa said. Her expression whimsically lost in the memory.

'Shame I missed that.' Kris stood. 'Something to look forward to tonight.' He glanced at Anna and frowned. 'Unless you think we should cancel. I mean... with Elsa...'

'Oh _fuck_!' Anna exclaimed. Squeezing her face downwards with both hands as her mouth opened in horror. 'Tonight! You're meeting my parents! I completely forgot! Oh God!'

'Hey...' Kris took her arms and gently pulled them away from her face. 'You can't be blamed for it. We've kind of had more important things on our mind.' He looked at Elsa as he said that.

'Don't cancel,' Elsa said. 'Dad will just bitch because he drove all the way down here for nothing 'cause I got myself kicked a few times.'

'I refuse to believe this man is as you say he is.'

'That's because you haven't met him.'

'Elsa, please!' Anna drew Kris closer to her. 'Ignore my sister. She is all drugged up and knows not what she speaks of. Our father is a wonderful man, albeit stubborn,' _and a fucking pain in the arse._

Elsa let out a short bark of laughter and said no more on that subject.

'I'm looking forward to seeing your parents,' Kris said as he walked away. 'I'll be back in five.'

Elsa waited until he was out of earshot before commenting 'poor deluded fool.' She looked at her sister and added 'he's a keeper.'

'Oh, so he has your blessings?' Anna asked sarcastically. She moved closer and sat on the bed. 'I've been talking to Aurora.' Elsa looked away. Her face growing hard and distant. 'Elsa... why didn't you tell me?'

'It's not your problem,' Elsa muttered.

'This is the second time-'

'It's not your _fucking_ problem!' Elsa snarled.

The transformation of her sister from the laughing, smiling woman telling vomit stories to Kris, to the hate-filled fury sitting beside her partially snapped the mental restraints inside Anna. She leaned close to her sister and snarled back: 'it is my _fucking_ problem! It's my _fucking _problem with my shit-head sister gets herself in debt to a _fucking_ drug lord! It's my _fucking_ problem when that _fucking_ shit beats the _fuck _out of my shit-head sister. It's my _fucking _problem when my _fucking_ sister can't even tell me _why... _what the _fuck_, Elsa? What the _fuck_?' As she spoke her eyes become blurred with tears that ran their course down her freckled cheeks. When she finished Anna was almost out of breath.

Her sister stared. Shocked. Eyes wide and glistening. 'I'm... sorry...'

'Elsa... please... why? Why is he doing this to you?'

'I lost two packs of imported cocaine,' Elsa replied. Her voice almost a whisper. 'I hid them in our old sofas. The ones you left outside when you got the new ones. I hid them inside. I lost them. Over twenty thousand pounds of drugs, and I lost them. He wants that money. What I lost him. I-'

It came from nowhere, and afterwards Anna held her hand in shock. Unable to believe she actually slapped her sister. Elsa returned the shock as her pale skin grew red across the left side of her face. _I can't believe I did that! _'Elsa... I...'

'I deserved that,' her sister said. 'I was selfish and stupid and-'

Anna threw herself forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Elsa. 'You're my sister,' she said into Elsa's ear. 'And no matter what you do I will never stop loving you.'

'Even if I hide drugs in your furniture?'

Anna sighed. 'Even if you hide drugs in my furniture.'

'How long have you been there?'

Anna disentangled herself from Elsa and looked at who her sister was smiling at. Aurora stood at the foot of the bed with a bemused expression. 'You two are adorable,' she said. 'Like, sickeningly adorable. Did you know Punz used to think you two were an item at school?'

'What? But I'm not gay!' Anna exclaimed.

'And I have better taste,' Elsa added. 'What?' she said to her sister's scathing look.

Aurora looked confused. 'Really? Those are the first things that come to mind? Not incest?'

'Oh,' Anna said sheepishly, 'that too.'

Heavy footfalls precede Kris' return. 'What did I miss?' he asks when he sees everyone's faces.

'Your girlfriend might have a suppressed sexual attraction to her sister.'

'Aurora!' Anna exclaimed.

'Awesome,' Kris grinned. 'Possible threesome?'

'No!' Anna jumped off the bed. 'No threesomes. Especially not with my gay sister. Who is horribly allergic to cocks, I might add.'

'It's true. I come up in a rash.'

'I'd get that seen to,' Kris replied. 'Anna, can I talk to you alone?'

Anna glanced at her sister. 'One moment, Elsa.' She allowed Kris to take her out of earshot of the other two. 'What is it?'

He looked hesitant. 'Work... they've moved the date they want me in New York to next Wednesday. My flight's Tuesday evening...' he made to say more, but couldn't.

Anna felt helpless. _No! _She wanted to say. _Please don't leave me! I don't want to loose you. I want you in my life! I want you to see your child be born. Take her first steps. Say her first word... please don't go! _Instead; 'that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you, Kris!'

The relief on his face made her lie worth it. 'I love you.'

'Love you too.'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **I did mention Anna has no qualms swearing. _

_Thanks for your reviews!_


	12. In Which Elsa and Anna Built A Snowman

**IN WHICH ELSA AND ANNA BUILT A SNOWMAN**

Elsa was relieved when Snow turned up. Despite what Anna had said a silence had fallen upon the group not too soon after Kris departed to return to work and the infinitesimal fun available to those at Insuricare. Leaving Aurora, Anna and Elsa behind to exchange glances and awkward starts at conversation. It was apparent to Elsa that her sister and Aurora had spoken of matters outside the hospital that neither wanted to reveal to Elsa. As the awkwardness continued Elsa looked from Anna to Aurora, trying to decide who had revealed what to whom.

_It can't be Anna_, she thought, _she tells me everything. Aurora? Did I hear Hans right, last night? Was Aurora working as a call girl through uni? Does she really think I'll think less of her for that?_

Uncertain whether Aurora had told Anna this Elsa couldn't mention the topic while her sister was beside her. It was frustrating, as Elsa wanted to tell her friend it was OK. _I don't care how many she slept with. Compared to some of the shit I've done that's nothing. _A foul taste came into her mouth as she fought the memory. Thankfully Snow's timely arrival helped.

'Hey guys,' Snow said as she approached them. Elsa had learnt to read Snow's state of mind from the way the woman walked. On good days, when the drugs were keeping the voices away, she didn't so much walk as skip. There was a bounce in her steps that Elsa longed for herself. When the drugs didn't work Snow was almost a mirror to Elsa. As she walked towards them, her shoulders hunched forward, the hoodie she wore beneath her jacket drawn up over her head, Snow seemed afraid of the world around her. Flinching at the people who walked past her.

'Hey Snow,' Anna was the first to greet her. Wrapping her arms around the smaller woman, and squeezing tightly. 'How are you doing?'

'Shitty. You?' Anna glanced at Elsa rather than replying. Snow noticed; 'oh shit, sorry. That was a arsehole thing to say considering the circumstances. The last thing you probably need right now is me bitching about imaginary voices, considering...'

'Don't be a 'tard,' Elsa jerked her head to the empty seat beside Aurora. 'Sit down.'

'She's a little drugged up,' Anna commented as she returned to her seat on the other side. 'Pay no attention to what my sister says, unless it's profound and revolutionary. In which case record it, and we will claim it is ours and make a fortune from her chemically-induced epiphanies.'

'You're a pleb.'

'Profound,' Aurora said, nodding sagely.

'Elsa Adele Lee, the great prophet of our time,' Anna said with a grin that almost split her face.

Spreading her arms either side, Elsa formed a serene expression and said 'welcome to my temple. Ask your questions and I shall answer them with Truth. For I am bursting with great knowledge and I will share it with those I deem worthy.'

'Yeah... I think you're crazy and so do the people who live in my head.' Snow smiled. Just as she finished her face flickered; hurt briefly shows before she smooths her features.

Elsa had seen that before. 'Who's talking?'

'Just Grumpy making a comment,' Snow replied. 'Same old shit. Angry. Bitter. Frightened.'

'Calling me a cunt again?'

'Among other things.' Snow looked embarrassed. Then winced. Again Elsa wondered what went on in the woman's head. _Wonder if we could swap mental illnesses for a while? Snow'll try chronic depression and crippling social anxiety and I could enjoy having imaginary people say awful things about me. _'Anyway,' Snow continued, 'lets not talk about people who don't exist. Rather, lets talk of people who are going to exist...' she looked at Anna with a predatory grin.

Sitting up straight, Anna looked from one woman to the next, then the penny dropped: 'oh, yeah, I'm pregnant.'

Stunned, Elsa asked 'Anna, did you actually forget that?'

'For a moment.' Anna turned a deep shade of red, which only served to accentuate her freckles.

'Jesus Christ, Anna,' Elsa said it with a smile. 'Do you need me to remind you where you live?'

'It's fine,' Anna snapped, 'I'll just ask the nearest drug dealer.'

In the silence that descended Elsa avoided looking at Anna. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Snow shift uncomfortably on her seat. Aurora sat motionless, expression unreadable. Focused on a rumpled part of the bedsheets.

'Sorry, that was...' Anna stood up. 'Look, I didn't get much sleep. I should probably head back.'

'Anna...' Elsa look up.

Her sister smiled at her. 'I'm fine. Honest. Just tired. Sorry to run, Snow. I know you just got here and I'm ditching you already-'

Snow dismissed her concerns with a wave and a surprising amount of sarcasm: 'yeah, you run away and leave me with complete strangers I've never seen before in my life. I won't take umbrage.' She smiled though, to let Anna know she wasn't taking it personally.

Aurora mocked pleading; 'don't leave us with the crazy woman! She'll infect us with her crazy!'

'Too late for that,' Snow muttered. Elsa smiled with her. 'Go get some sleep,' Snow said to Anna, 'these guys'll look after me.' She turned to Elsa, 'won't you?'

'I might sell you to medical science; I'm a little strapped for cash,' Elsa said.

'There, see?' Snow told Anna. 'I'll be fine. Go. Sleep. You look worse than me.'

'OK.' Anna smiled at them all. 'Sorry; didn't realise how tired I was. Guess it's the pregnancy. See you all later.' She finished with a little wave.

They said goodbye and watched Anna head off down the corridor. Aurora waited until Anna was out of sight before commenting 'she seemed to take it quite well.'

'You _were_ listening,' Elsa stated as she watched where Anna had disappeared. 'No, she didn't take it well.'

'She seemed-'

'Anna hates confrontation.' Elsa turned to Aurora. Her face resigned. 'She'd rather sweep it all under a rug than argue or shout at someone, especially a friend. Especially me. That cluster-f-bomb earlier was the most pissed I've ever heard her in a long while. Not since Olaf.'

'Olaf?' Snow asked.

Elsa forced a smile. 'It snowed, several years ago. Anna and I were out in the garden. We wanted to build a snowman-

* * *

_We spent all day. It hadn't snowed that heavy, and we had to comb everyone's front gardens for enough snow to build him, and even then he wasn't that large. Barely higher than Anna's waist, and she was sixteen at the time. Still, we built him. Eventually. _

_We were quite proud of him. _

_We gave Olaf arms; two small twigs we had found on a tree in our front garden, and gave him a nose thanks to our mother. A bright orange carrot. Huge one at that. So there's us, in the front garden admiring our creation. We're deciding on a name. I want to call him Andy. I can't remember why. I didn't know any Andy's. Anna wants to call him Olaf. I say I think that's a dumb name. _

_We start arguing about what to call this dumb snowman._

_The argument turns to other things. We've been sniping at each other all week. Well, I have. Anna just says she has homework to do and walks off, and the next time I see her she's all smiles and 'hi's and acts like nothing ever happened. Only it has, and I know she remembers it. She just doesn't want to address it. Doesn't want to upset me. _

_That's Anna really. Wants to be my friend. Doesn't want to hurt that. _

_So she bottles it all up. Keeps it inside. Until it explodes. It happened before. Yelling at me over dinner because I didn't pass her the salt. She apologises immediately afterwards. After father sent her upstairs without dessert. _

_Anna is always saying sorry. Feels like she's saying it for all the times I don't._

_I said it that day. After she broke down and cried. Right there by the snowman._

_'What the fuck did I ever do to you?' she asked me. 'Why do you keep shutting me out?'_

_How could I explain it to her? That I was frightened? Embarrassed? That I hated myself? How I was so... incompetent. Stupid. Worthless. That I didn't deserve a sister as wonderful, as caring, who said sorry for me. A sister like Anna. So _fucking_ perfect I felt I was holding her back from becoming the paragon she deserved to be. That she would be better off if I didn't exist..._

_It would be a few more years before I had the courage to try and kill myself. _

_That's a story for a later day._

_On that day, with that fucking snowman watching us cry, I didn't have the answers. I still don't, but at least now I can do more than just stand there and stammer like a fucking twat. Of course that only sets her off even more. Before I know it Anna is hammering her fists, padded with those bright pink mittens she used to wear, on my shoulders and screaming in my face. _

_I hugged her. Tightly. What else could I do? We sat there in the garden. Me holding my sister as she cries into my shoulder while people on our street watch us in morbid curiosity. 'I'm so sorry,' I say to her. 'I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up. I'm sorry you have me for a sister.'_

_She punched me. Actually punched me. It didn't hurt much. We were both wearing far too many layers for her to actually hurt me, but still... Anna punched me! 'Don't ever fucking apologise,' she said. She looked at me and I saw a love in her eyes that almost crushed me. _

_Melodramatic, I know. Guess you had to be there._

_She calmed down quickly, and started apologising. To me! 'You must think I'm an idiot.'_

_'No,' I said. 'But Olaf here might.'_

_She just smiled at that. _

_Olaf didn't last the day. It rained later. He lasted twenty minutes before he was washed away._

_Fucking British winters._

* * *

'-she's like that. Bottles it all up.'

'I'm sure it's not that bad, Elsa,' Snow said. 'Anna is one of the loveliest people I know.'

'Yeah...' Elsa stared at the curtains drawn around the bed on the opposite side of the ward. _Good God, what have I done to deserve a sister like Anna, and why can't I do that again? Why do I keep fucking shit up? What the hell is wrong with me? _

'Stop it,' Aurora muttered.

'What?' Elsa looked at her. Aurora was slouching, staring at the ceiling. Elsa knew what she was looking at; she had a good view of it in the hour after waking up. Crusty plaster tiles, cracked in places, sit awkwardly beside florescent lights hidden by dirt-smeared plastic fronts. Like the rest of the ward, it didn't seem as if the place had been properly cleaned in years. _A proper NHS hospital this. More chance of me surviving out on the streets. _

'You're thinking shit about yourself again.' Aurora didn't look at her as she spoke. Just stared at the ceiling. 'Stop it.'

'How do you know what I'm thinking?'

'You realise how obvious you are?' Snow pulled her chair closer to the bed. She began puffing up the pillows as she talked. 'You have this look about you when you brood. Plus that thing you do with your hands.'

'What thing?' As she spoke Elsa unlocked her hands, having realised that they had unconsciously found each other.

'Exactly.' Snow smiled. 'You find comfort in protecting yourself. Folding your arms. Locking your fingers together. Making small little barriers against the world. I do the same thing. Of course, for me it's because I'm terrified that they'll find out I'm schizophrenic and treat me like a fucking leper.'

'Well crazy _is_contagious.'

'Then fucking have a load then,' Snow said, rubbing her hand all over Elsa's face. 'Let the crazy in Elsa. Feel it permeate into you. Infect your very core.'

'Oh my God...' Elsa faked astonishment. She tipped her head to one side. 'What's that? You want me to kill Snow? Why yes, oh Great Voice In My Head.'

'Fuck you.'

'You started it, Snowdrop,' Elsa grinned back. She spotted Aurora's expression and turned to her friend. 'What?' she asked, bemused.

'You. Anyone ever told you you have a great smile?'

Elsa felt the heat rise to her face. _Not often, no. _

'Stop it Elsa,' Snow said. 'I'm supposed to be the adorable one here. You're stealing my thunder. I'm Snowdrop, you're Snowflake.'

'Snowflake...' Aurora muttered. Seeing Elsa's quizzical expression she said 'Hans called you Snowflake. That's our name for you. After that Christmas when you first dyed your hair, and you stuck loads of glitter on it. Why did he call you Snowflake?'

Elsa looked away. The warmth in her face was beginning to burn.

'Elsa...'

'If I tell you, you have to tell me everything about your time at MMs.'

'I should probably go...' Snow began to rise.

'No, stay Snow. Please. I...' Aurora looked at her with a tired smile. 'You've been so very sharing with us about your pain. While we've kept our secrets locked so very tightly. It's unfair. You deserve to hear this.' Aurora regarded Elsa. 'My father is not as rich as he makes out to be. Bad choices in his early career have left him with a lot of debt he's still paying off. He couldn't afford to help pay for my university tuition. I was too proud to leave uni with a debt, but not too proud to sell myself, it seems. I sought out Madame Medusa as a part-time 'MM Girl.'' Aurora paused, seemingly waiting for the disgusted comments.

There were none. Elsa had already realised after Hans' comment last night. Snow didn't show any emotion. Simply nodding after every sentence.

Aurora cleared her throat. Her voice grew stronger. 'I made it clear I was to be simple arm candy for those looking for a high class woman to accompany them to social events, and for the most part I was that. Except...' her face dance between different emotions; anger, sadness, and loathing. 'There was one... his name was Philip. He... he was...' a shrug served as an ending to that sentence.

'You slept with him.' It wasn't an accusation, simply a statement, and Elsa held her face blank.

Aurora nodded. 'Once, when I was under contract. Several times afterwards.'

'Wow, how very _Pretty Woman_,' Snow commented.

Colour rose to Aurora's cheeks. She shifted about in the seat, clearly uncomfortable. 'Yeah... well it didn't last. It was a silly relationship in the first place. Just a flight of fancy. Two individuals in the youth of their lives fooling around-'

'You loved him.' Elsa was surprised at how calmly she said that, even while he mind screamed at the concept. _What if she still loves him? She doesn't love me because she still loves him. _She childes herself for that thought; Aurora didn't love her because Aurora wasn't bisexual. _Just another girl in a long list of unachievable romances. Maybe Dr. C is right. I'm punishing myself._

'I...' Aurora looked at her with what seemed to be guilt. _What reason does she have to be guilty?_

'You still love him?' Again Elsa could not understand how calmly she was asking these questions when her own internal voice was screaming.

Aurora made to answer, but her voice caught. She looked away. Embarrassed.

'Do you still see him?'

A shake of her head answered that.

'Do you want to?'

Her answer surprised Elsa; 'no.'

For several minutes Elsa said nothing, eager to hear more from Aurora. Further explanation as to why she said no, perhaps. Yet Aurora remained silent, and refused to look at her. _What's going on in that head of yours? What are you thinking about? What happened between you and this guy?_

Snow was the one to break the silence: 'sounds very romantic.' She leaned forward, supported by her elbows on her knees, and grinned at Elsa. 'Your turn.' Seeing Elsa's confusion she added 'Aurora had her moment of confession, now it's yours.' Another wince; a comment from one of the seven, no doubt.

_I wonder what he said. _'Philip sounds like a great guy.' Elsa forced a smile, although Aurora still did not look up. 'Hans wasn't.' That caught her friend's attention: Aurora looked up at her with wide eyes and a horrified expression. 'Don't look at me like that,' Elsa snapped, then regretted it. 'It wasn't consensual.'

'He _raped_ you?' Aurora said. A little too loudly for Elsa's liking.

After looking around to see if anyone had heard (they hadn't) Elsa hissed 'he _didn't _rape me! I... I needed the drugs and I... I didn't have the money. Parents weren't paying for tuition fees, I was in so much debt I couldn't afford...' Elsa felt her skin crawl as she tried to explain. 'He _liked _me. Probably still does... in his own twisted, fucked-up way. I... did things for him.' That taste returned. Elsa took a sip from the glass of water on the table beside but it didn't wash the taste away.

'What things?' Aurora was looking at Elsa like she had a revolting bug crawling across her face.

'I didn't sleep with him!' Elsa insisted. 'Just...' she mimicked giving head.

'Oh, gross,' Snow commented.

Aurora made to comment, but, by the expression that crossed her face, thought better of it. For a long while the two women looked at each other. Elsa tried to read Aurora's expression, but couldn't get more than embarrassment. _Who's she embarrassed for? Me? Herself? What are you thinking?_

'You've stopped now, right?' Elsa gave a start, having almost forgotten that Snow existed until the question she voiced in that sweet tone of hers. 'I mean... you're not... "seeing" him, yes?'

'Of course!' Elsa snarled. Seeing Snow's expression she added 'sorry. I didn't mean... I've cleaned up. I spent half a year in rehab. I still go to meetings. I haven't touched the shit since uni. I haven't... been with him since then.'

'Yet you hid drugs for him.'

Elsa stared back at Aurora. 'I had debts. He kept hounding me. I couldn't get the money together to pay him. Storing those drugs in the flat was the best way to pay him off.'

'Oh my God!' Snow leaned forward. Eyes wide. 'You stored drugs in Anna's flat?'

Elsa groaned. 'Yeah... don't tell her. Please!'

'I won't.' Snow looked strangely delighted to hear this. 'What happened to them?'

'I stored them in the old sofas. Anna threw them out. Some pikeys pilfered them. They're gone.'

'Huh.' Snow seemed thoughtful. 'You're talking about the garish pink and white ones she used to have?'

'Yeah, why?'

'Jiminy's got them.'

Elsa looked from Snow to Aurora, then back to Snow. 'Who's Jiminy?'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Sorry about the wait for this one. Felt I rushed the last chapter so I wanted to take more time on this one. I didn't describe Anna's thoughts last chapter as well as I should have; she's not happy about Elsa keeping the drugs at her flat, as we'll see in the next chapter._


	13. In Which Anna Begins to Crack

**IN WHICH ANNA BEGINS TO CRACK**

'What happened?'

Surprised by his voice, Anna looked up at Kris with wide eyes. Unable to hide the guilt behind. 'I just felt like doing some cleaning.' She shifted her weight against the wall. There was nowhere else to sit; the sofa had been dismantled, cushions everywhere, and the small chairs by the tiny table in the kitchen had been upturned. Their undersides carefully examined.

Her own room had been torn apart. Wardrobe emptied. Drawers pulled out, turned up-side down, investigated and thrown aside. Elsa's room had also been subjected to the same. The case of her PC resting against the table, exposing the internal hardware; a selection chosen by Elsa a few years ago. Her bed upturned and mattress pulled off. Furniture stripped bare. Unwashed clothes scattered.

'Don't go in the bathroom,' Anna commented as she massaged her head. She'd taken ibuprofen an hour earlier. It hadn't kicked in yet. 'There's shit everywhere. I took the cistern apart. Dredged up the contents of the bath plughole. You want to see a years worth of me and Elsa? Take a peek.'

'Why?' Kris sat down beside her.

Anna didn't look at him. 'She hid drugs here,' she said.

'Jesus... when?'

'Don't know. Recent. It's why Hans's been after her.'

'That's why she's in hospital? Hans?' Kris pulled his tie off and wrapped it around his wrists. 'She been keeping this from you?'

'Yeah...' Anna couldn't hold it back any longer. 'Fuck... piece of shit... she said she was clean! She looked me in the eye and told me she was clean! That she had nothing more to do with Hans and his fucking... she was clean... she was going to start fresh...' Her voice cracked and she stopped trying to wipe away the tears. 'She was going to get better. She _promised_ me. She...'

'Anna...'

'She lied to me. She always lies to me. Fucking... bitch...' Her voice rises to a near scream. 'That fucking bitch! Fucking! Piece! Of! Shit!' Each word punctuated by her fists hitting the carpet. 'Why does she do this to me?' she asked, her voice returning to a whimper.

Kris pulled her close. Enveloping her in a warm embrace. 'Jesus Christ... I knew she wasn't good for you.'

Anna grew stiff. 'What do you mean?'

'How long has she lived here? Living off benefits. Off you. Two years?' Kris stroked her arm as he spoke. 'Every day wasting her time in front of her PC. She only went out when you went out. All her friends are your friends.'

'What are you saying Kris?'

'Anna, your sister isn't going anywhere. She's living off you.'

'Like a parasite?'

Kris didn't say anything. Perhaps sensing that he had spoken too much.

'Is that what you're saying Kris? That Elsa's a fucking parasite?'

'All I'm saying-'

Anna sat up and shifted herself away from him. 'I think you should go.'

'Anna-'

She held up a hand to silence him. 'Just... give me an hour. Please. I don't think we should talk in this state. One of us is going to say something we'll both regret. I don't think... just give me an hour. Please... I'll call you later for dinner.'

'Ah,' Kris nods. 'Your parents.'

'Lets give each other some space,' Anna said. She looked at Kris, apologetically. 'Just for the rest of the day. Yeah?'

'Yeah.' Kris stands. 'You'll give me a call?' he asked her.

His expression was almost pleading. _God, _she thought, _he really does think I might not call him. _She smiled. 'Of course. We're having a kid. You're his father.'

If Kris noted the way she phrased her response, he didn't let it show. Only nodded, smiled, turned and left the flat, closing the door on the way out.

Left alone amongst the mess she had created, Anna cried.

* * *

_I admire my sister. I do. She's smart. Really smart. I mean... here's an example: we met Jaz about the same time Elsa went to uni, and I was doing my GCSEs. She'd just moved with her family to the town. She looked lonely and scared, so of course I wanted her to be my friend. _

_Elsa visited one day when Jaz and I were having a _Lost _marathon. They got talking and hit it off really well. I love seeing my friends get along. I've mentioned that before, right?_

_That day was cool, but it was a couple of months later when Elsa and Jaz met again that was the awesome thing. Jaz and I were watching TV – nothing special, just mindless watching – when Elsa walked through the door. Says hi to me, sees Jaz, and the next thing I know my sister and my friend are conversing in Arabic. OK, so Elsa was a little awkward, and you could tell she wasn't too sure about a lot of what she was saying, but Jaz understood her and encouraged her on with that bright smile of hers. _

_My sister learnt enough Arabic in a few months to hold a conversation in it for the best part of a half-hour. That's my sister. A fucking genius. _

_I've spent most of my life trying to be my sister. Trying to be as smart as she is. _

_But I can't. I'm just me. Big dumb Anna._

* * *

There wasn't even a complete dial tone before Kris answered. 'Hey!' he said, and Anna could tell he was struggling to keep his voice cool. 'How're you feeling?'

'Good thanks,' Anna lied. The flat was cleaner; she had spent the last two hours tidying. She had started with Elsa's room, despite her sister not due to return from the hospital until Monday. 'So my father called. They're staying at the Swan Hotel. I've suggested Tiana's for tonight. That OK?'

'I love Tiana's.'

'Great!' Anna felt she said that a little too enthusiastically. _Stop over-compensating! He'll notice it! _'Pick you up at six?'

'Sure.'

She got there early – five forty – but Kris was ready; dressed smartly in a grey shirt. Unbuttoned at the top, showing a little hair but not enough that Anna felt embarrassed to introduce him to Agdar and Idun. In fact it reminded her why she had been attracted to Kris in the first place. _Holy shit, that body... OK, his personality's not too bad, but holy... _on the drive there she noticed him grinning out the corner of her eye. It was then she realised Kris was wearing the same clothes he wore at the club where they first met. _Fuck me, he's done this deliberately. _A reminder of their first meeting.

_Is he trying to remind me of when we first met? That spark we both felt? _

It worked. Anna almost drove through a red light remembering their first night together.

How they survived the trip to the restaurant Anna did not know. 'You're too fucking distracting,' she complained to Kris as they walked through the doors. 'Button up that shirt.'

'Apparently one of the symptoms of pregnancy is an increased sex drive.' Said sincerely.

'I am going to kill you.'

'Good luck hiding the body.'

Anna looked him up and down. 'I'll dig a big hole.' She notices a familiar couple sitting at a large table near the end of the room. A timid wave gets their attention. Idun smiles warmly. Agdar merely nods. _Oh great, he's in a bad mood. _'Come on,' she took Kris' hand and guided him between tables to where her parents sat. 'Hi mum, hi dad,' she said. 'How was your trip?'

'Awful.' Agdar was drinking. _Not a good sign. _'M1 was backed-up to Watford.'

'Gave me plenty of time to catch up on some reading,' Idun commented. She reached out for her daughter's hand. 'Anna dear. It's wonderful to see you again.' Her focus shifts to Kris. 'And you must be Christopher?'

'Kristoff,' he politely corrected, smiling as he did so. 'It's great to finally meet you, Mrs Lee, and you too, Mr Lee.' Agdar made no response. Kris continued, unperturbed; 'Anna's told me a lot about you both.'

'All good, all good!' Anna hastened to add as she sat down opposite her mother. Kris took seat on the chair beside her and smiled politely at Agdar (seated across the table). 'So bit of a nightmare on the road, then?'

'I wouldn't call it a nightmare, dear,' Idun said politely. A warm smile on her face. 'Your father, on the other hand, might have different ideas about it.' Agdar snorted derisively. 'And it appears that he does! Agdar, dear, lets not spoil the evening by starting it with complaints about the journey. All that matters is we are here and Anna is introducing us to the new man in her life.' She leant forward and laid a hand on Kris' arm. 'It's wonderful to meet you Kristoff. Anna has told us almost nothing about you. Could I trouble you to mend our daughter's omission?'

Kris laughed. 'Of course, Mrs Lee.'

'Please, call me Idun.'

'That's a... exotic name,' Kris faltered slightly. _He's really nervous_, Anna realised. 'I thought your family was from up north. At least... I've always had that impression from Anna, what with the way she talks and everything.'

'I don't have that strong an accent, do I?' Anna was miffed.

'You're slightly northern,' Kris replied, and quickly added 'and it sounds wonderful.'

'Oh he's a charmer,' Idun joked. 'In answer to your question both Agdar and I are of Norwegian descent. Our families moved over at similar times,' she turns to her husband, 'didn't they, darling?'

Agdar shrugged.

'Please excuse him. He's not in a good mood.' Idun smiled apologetically at Kris. 'When he's like this it's best to ignore him.' Agdar rolled his eyes. 'What of yourself, Kristoff?'

'London child, born and raised,' Kris replied. 'My mum originally wanted to call me Christopher, but decided on 'Kristoffer' – with a kay and two effs – instead. Dad shortened it to Kristoff when he filled in my birth certificate. Took my mum five years to find that out.'

'I can't imagine she was happy.'

'Didn't care for it. She'd been calling me Kris all the time.'

'What do your parents do now?'

'Early retirement. Dad worked on the stock market. Fantastic pay, but they kick your out early or you burn up. Dad didn't mind. He's earned enough to live comfortably. He's liking the slow life.'

'Must be useful having rich parents.'

'I've never asked them for a thing,' Kris said proudly. 'I've made my own way in life. I work up in the city at Insuricare.'

'Good pay?'

'Very good.' Kris glanced at Anna.

_Best mention this, I suppose. Now, before... _'They've asked Kris to work at their New York office for a year or so,' Anna said. 'It's a big chance for him,' she added quickly. 'It'll open a lot of doors.'

'That sounds... wonderful.' Idun didn't look convinced of her own words. Agdar didn't speak; just glared at Kris. _Mum must have said something before we turned up_, Anna thought. Only her mother had ever demonstrated the power to keep her father in line. _Elsa too. She does whatever mum asks. _'When is this?'

'Wednesday,' Kris replied.

'So soon?'

'I'm afraid so.' Kris genuinely seemed sad. It occurred to Anna that her mother seemed to like her boyfriend. _That's... good I guess. _Her father, on the other hand, gave little away. Anna watched him carefully as Kris continued talking; 'I've spoken with my manager. He reckons I could be back in a few months or so if everything goes well. I just need to prove myself. I want to do so, Mrs- I mean Idun. I want to provide for Anna and-' he caught himself in time '-and provide her with a home. Not a little flat in Storiford.'

'It's not that bad,' Anna said, but it wasn't too loud a complaint. _Would be nice to move someplace nicer... although... what would Elsa do? Would she come with us? I can't imagine Kris being happy with that idea... _A part of her still hurt from his revelation of exactly what he felt about Elsa.

But what hurt the most was a creeping agreement burning inside her. _God damn you, Elsa..._

'I'm glad to hear you have my daughter's interests at heart.' Idun was interrupted by the arrival of the waiter. After taking their drinks orders (two beers, and two fruit juices for the drivers; Anna and her mother) they were left to decide on their food. Conversation was halted as Idun and Anna talked about the choices, while Kris occasionally commented on a dish he had eaten before.

Agdar said nothing.

'So, how's your sister?' Idun bravely asked when their food orders had been taken.

Anna couldn't take her eyes off her father as she answered. Agdar stared back at her. Anger held back by tenuous restraint _and whatever my mother threatened him with. _'Elsa is... she's coping.'

'Any luck on the job front?'

'None,' Anna said. 'She had an interview the other month. It...' _it didn't go well. She freaked out on the way there and spent the day travelling from one end of the Northern Line to the other. _'It did not go well. They didn't call her back. She took it kinda hard.'

'Oh, poor dear. Do give her my best.'

'Sure.' Anna eyes her father. _God, it's like watching a volcano. You don't know when it's going to erupt. _She managed to steer the conversation away from Elsa by taking advantage of Snow's recent incident, describing in detail her phone call to Anna and the resulting rush to the hospital, as well as her recent follow-ups round Snow's house.

'Oh poor dear. How's she doing?'

'She was having a bad day earlier. I left her with Elsa at the hospital.' Anna realised too late what she had revealed.

'Elsa's in hospital?' Idun seemed shocked.

'What the hell as she done now?' Agdar fumed. Ignoring his wife's glance he stared straight at his daughter. 'Why didn't you tell us this? Were you keeping this from us?'

'What? No!' _A little. _Anna looked from one parent to the other. 'I just... she got into a fight. She's alright, just a little roughed up. They're keeping her in over the weekend, that's all. They don't need to, they just can't sign her out until Monday. Silly NHS rules. That's all. Honest!'

Agdar wasn't impressed; 'what else are you keeping from us?'

_I'm pregnant. _'Nothing!' Anna saw the look Kris gave her.

So did Idun. 'Are you sure, darling?'

'Yes!'

Idun nodded. Seemingly satisfied. Agdar looked away and sought to direct his anger somewhere else. 'Damn child,' he muttered under his breath. 'Stupid, arrogant little-'

'Darling, please.' Idun didn't look at her husband as she scolded him. 'Now... we were enjoying a lovely conversation before you lost your temper. Do you want to step outside for a bit?'

'No, I'm fine.' He didn't seem it, but Agdar seemingly knew better than to argue with his wife.

'Oh, wonderful, the food's arrived!'

* * *

The journey back was conducted in silence. Anna focused on the road as Kris sat beside her.

Eventually; 'you didn't tell them.'

'I know,' Anna snapped. She was more angry with herself than Kris (if she was angry with him at all), but she didn't want to admit that to herself, let alone Kris. 'I know. I'll... find some other time to tell them.'

'When, Anna?' Kris asked her. 'When are you going to tell Idun she's a grandmother?'

'On first name terms now, are we?'

'Don't be like that.'

'Like what?'

'Like... are you jealous? Are you actually jealous that I got along with your mother?'

'No! I'm relieved... I...' she sighed. Coming to a stop in front of traffic lights Anna took advantage of the moment to lean back and rub her tired eyes. 'I knew dad wouldn't like you. I'm glad mum did though... I... I'm just angry. And scared.'

'Of what?'

'Of what will happen when I tell them.'

'The longer you leave it...'

'I know.'

'Anna... I can still tell my boss I won't go. Just ask me to stay. I will.'

_He will. _There was no doubt in her mind. Kris would throw away the chance of a lifetime for her. _Jesus Christ... _'I can't,' she said. 'I can't ask you to do that.' She looked at him, and smiled. 'Please... go. Go and be awesome. Come back and buy that house you promised my mother you'd buy for us.'

He laughed. 'Sure. Anna...?'

'Yes?'

'Light's green.'

'Oh... shit.' Anna started the car as a chorus of horns erupted from the queue behind her.

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Looking at my outline and we're approaching the end of the first part of this story. Something big's on the horizon..._

_You've probably guessed it already. ;)_


	14. In Which Elsa Meets An Old Friend

**IN WHICH ELSA MEETS AN OLD FRIEND**

'I am the world's worst sister,' Elsa said, mostly to herself. She lay atop crumpled sheets clad in a clean (by her usual standards) t-shirt and tattered jeans (by design, although she did own a few pairs tattered by age). Staring across the ward at the curtains drawn around the bed opposite her own. Her curtains had been left drawn, and the ward was open for her to observe.

Ten beds in total; five either side and all of them occupied. To her left an old man lay with tubes going in almost every orifice. To her right a younger woman who had done everything she could to ignore Elsa (although, she had to admit to herself, Elsa hadn't tried too hard to engage the woman in conversation). Across from Miss Antisocial a kid a few years younger than she talked loudly with a few friends about the skating accident that landed him here ('Sick moves! Fucking sick! You should have seen them!'). Beside him an old woman complained to the staff about the pain she was in, and the man beside her, in his mid-thirties by Elsa's guess, kept shouting at them in Polish.

Flanking either side of the main entrance to the ward were (amusingly enough) twins who threw stuff to each other across the floorspace separating their beds. More than once someone had walked through the door and was almost belted in the face with a pen, ball or, in one amusing case, a phone. They both looked fine to Elsa. She had no idea why either of them were in here. Tucked in the other corner of the room was an old man who had a stack of papers on the chair beside him. He had spent the past two days working through every crossword puzzle they could offer him.

The last bed was the one curtained off from the world. It had been since Elsa woke up Friday and was still curtained off two days later. Curiosity was driving Elsa insane. _Open up those curtains so I may plunder your secrets..._

'You're not.'

That brought Elsa out of her thoughts. She had very nearly forgotten Snow was sitting beside her until the woman spoke up. Her first words for the past hour. 'You've got a long way to go to beat my own.' _Shit, yeah... Rose. What a bitch. _Elsa had never met Snow's sister. Only heard about her from what Snow had reluctantly revealed. Younger by two years, Rose had never visited Snow since the latter moved to Storiford. Refused to have anything to do with her. _Guess I still have some way to go before I win that coveted award of "World's Worst Sister"..._

'When was the last time you saw Rose?' Elsa asked, mostly out of curiosity. Though a part of her wanted more material with which to compare herself with this mysterious woman. _Am I looking for evidence to _not _condemn myself? Huh... Dr. C would be proud... _Elsa found herself disappointed she would miss her next appointment with the psychiatrist. _I should be there tonight..._

She wouldn't be. Although Snow, bless her, had promised to stay as long as she could. 'Our final gig,' she answered Elsa's question. 'I'd just been diagnosed; I hadn't been well for a while and it was great to get an answer. A name, you know? Rose... didn't take to it well. She changed. She wasn't... I mean she had a mean streak, don't get me wrong... but after I told her about my illness she became... so _nasty_. I couldn't be around her any more. I left. She took off on her own.' Snow shrugged. Like it wasn't a big deal to her. 'Oh well...' she added, as a way of ending her story.

'Huh...' was all Elsa could say to that. _At least I'm not like that to Anna._

A sudden burst of activity caught her attention: nurses appeared in abundance, and Elsa watched, curious, as they slipped through the curtains to whoever lay hidden on the other side. Two doctors entered after them, and for fifteen minutes none left. _Must be a fucking conference going on in there on the other side. _

Then, as suddenly as they had disappeared, the procession of white reappeared from within the blue. As they exited the last nurse pulled them all back to reveal a petite blonde reclining on the bed amongst tubes and machines, chatting away to the nurse with a wide smile on her face. That smile vanished when the woman noticed Elsa and turned her head to stare at her in shock.

Elsa mirrored that expression.

_Jesus fucking Christ... Ellie?_

* * *

_-Ellie..._

'You're so tense,' the girl had said. She smiled, trying to put Elsa at ease. 'Loosen up a little.'

They were both on the sofa in Elsa's front room. Her parent's were out for the day – shopping – and had taken Anna with them, leaving Elsa and Eilonwy alone. What had started as simply a friend invited round to play games with had slowly turned into an extended make-out session. The console hummed to itself on the floor in front of the TV, forgotten by the two horny teenagers.

_This is better,_ Elsa thought as she looked up at Eilonwy. The older girl straddled her as Elsa lay beneath, her head on the arm of the sofa. School shirt unbuttoned and pulled aside exposing her blue and white snowflake bra. Eilonwy traced the outlines of the snowflakes with a finger, causing Elsa to squirm beneath her. 'You like that?' Eilonwy asked.

Elsa nodded. Making a sound that vaguely sounded like "yes."

'You're very sensitive. What if I do this?' Eilonwy leaned forward and kissed the skin beneath her neck. Elsa groaned as Eilonwy made a slow path down her stomach. She shivered with excitement each time Eilonwy's lips met her pale skin.

'I'm not tense,' Elsa gasped. 'It's just...'

'Your first time?'

'Yeah.' Elsa made to smile. It turned into a gasp as Eilonwy reached her skirt. Leaning back she tucked her finger's beneath the green and purple tartan and pulled down, exposing more of Elsa. 'It's OK,' Eilonwy said. 'I'll be gentle.' She leaned forward to whisper in Elsa's ear, 'I'll make it special.'

'I know.' Elsa laid her head back and bit down on her lip as she felt Eilonwy's fingers explore beneath her underwear. Circling, caressing, pinching, before sliding into her. _This feels so natural. I knew it: I'm so gay. This... this is who I am. No more confusion, Elsa. This is you. This is what you are. _Eilwony picked up speed. Elsa looked up at her and saw her own hunger staring back. Rising up, Elsa took Eilonwy's head in her hands and pressed their lips together. Their tongues met and passed each other.

Eager to feel this girl Elsa slipped her own hands beneath Eilonwy's dress, but her efforts were clumsy in comparison. After a minute Eilonwy began to murmur directions into Elsa's mouth. With her help Elsa figured out a pattern, and as the minutes passed she grew more confident, faster and more forceful. They climaxed almost at the same time.

Kneeling in front of each other, sweaty and breathing heavily, the two girls grinned at each other. 'How did that feel?' Eilonwy asked as she brought Elsa closer to her. Their lips met.

Five minutes later; 'alright,' Elsa admitted.

'Just "alright"?' Eilonwy mocked gently.

'Just alright,' Elsa grinned back and pulled Eilonwy against her. Tongues danced around between their lips. Noisily meeting. Pressing against each other.

The door slammed a second before they heard him.

'GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!'

Her eyes burst open to see her father pulling Eilonwy off and almost hurling the girl across the floor. His face twisted with anger Elsa had never seen before. Eilonwy hit the carpet hard and cried out. The sound brought Elsa up from the sofa to meet her father's face with a clenched fist. 'DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!' she screamed as her punch landed.

Agdar seemed more shocked than in pain, stumbling back and clutching where Elsa had hit him. A curious silence surrounded them. Elsa half standing, half kneeling on the sofa. Fists clenched. Her breathing deep and heavy. Eilonwy lay where she fell. Looking up at father and daughter with tears running down her face.

Father and daughter stared at each other. Agdar seemed confused as to what had happened. In the doorway stood her mother. Idun watched Agdar cautiously. Someone was crying outside in the hall. 'Agdar,' Idun said. 'Agdar, please. Lets talk about this.'

'Get out,' Agdar said. At first Elsa thought he was talking to her, but he turned to Eilonwy, laying on the floor, and repeated 'get out! Get out of my house and don't you ever fucking come back!'

Eilonwy picked herself up and rushed out the room. Idun seemed to want to say something to her in passing, but stopped herself. No one said anything until the front door slammed shut.

'What the fuck-' Elsa began.

'Shut up!' Agdar bellowed. 'I will not have such language in my house! Go to your room! NOW!'

'Dad-'

'ROOM! NOW!' His face had turned red, and he didn't look directly at her.

Elsa pulled up her skirt and hurried out. Her mother said nothing as she passed her. In the hallway she found Anna, sitting on the stairs crying. Her sister looked up at her as Elsa passed. 'I'm so sorry,' she whispered.

Elsa paused. 'Don't ever fucking apologise for him,' she whispered back, before resuming her flight to her room. _Don't ever apologise for something that isn't your fault. Especially him. Fuck him. Fuck him. _

_Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck-_

* * *

'Elsa.' Said with little emotion. Just a statement of fact. _Look, there's Elsa. Just someone I used to know. _Eilonwy stared across the ward. Her once cheerful face now plain and composed. After a few moments she reached over to the table beside her bed and retrieved a book. Turning away from Elsa to bury herself in its pages.

_What? You're just going to fucking ignore me? I haven't seen you for seven years and you're just going to _ignore _me? _Elsa twisted herself to drop her legs off the side of the bed. Pain flared from the bruises on her stomach. She winced. Clenched her teeth. Then pushed herself off the bed and slowly walked its length. A hand out to steady herself. 'Ellie?' she tentatively called out.

'Elsa?' Snow sounded confused.

'Ellie!' Elsa had reached the end of her bed. She wobbled on her feet. 'Hey! It's me! Elsa!'

'I know.' Eilonwy didn't look up from her book. 'Please... I...'

'What...?' With effort she stumbled forward, almost tripping, but she caught the bars at the foot of Eilonwy's bed and steadied herself as she talked. 'Look, I know the last time we saw each other was not the best of circumstances-'

'Really?!' Eilwony dropped the book on her lap and looked at Elsa. 'Your father fucking assaulted me, Elsa! Then he had the audacity to claimed he caught me _raping_ you! My family moved because of your father! Because people believed I was capable of taking advantage of poor little you.'

'What?' Elsa was stunned. She hadn't heard any of this. _Admittedly I was confined to my room for the best part of the school year. Dad kept extending my punishment for every little thing I said that pissed him off, and I was _damn _good at pissing him off. _'That's... fucking ridiculous!'

'Yeah, I know, but it didn't stop the accusations. The bullying. The fucking... there wasn't a single fucking day where I wasn't taunted, made fun of... vicious name-calling... it was the worst way to come out, Elsa. The worst _fucking _way to tell the world, when the guy telling it is your fucking saint of a father.'

'He's not a fucking saint!' _He's a monster._

'Everyone loved him, Elsa. He was Mr Can-Do-No-Wrong Lee. Generous philanthropist; helped fund the new school gym. Was part of the local council. Volunteered on neighbourhood watch. Gave the local churches a hand in their fund-raising. People loved your father. You might have been too wrapped up in your hatred to see it but people _loved _your father. So when he tells everyone that I've been forcing myself on his wonderful little daughter, the smart, capable, _perfect _Elsa Lee, who do you think people are going to believe? Agdar Lee, Storiford's Prodigal Son, or me? A known wild child. Who drove her mother crazy each night when I would climb out through the window to blag my way into the clubs with people twice my age? Who, at age fourteen, had to be dragged into a rehab clinic.' Eilonwy shrank back into her pillows, seemingly exhausted. 'We moved to escape it all, Elsa. I'm sorry, but that's the way it happened.'

Elsa sat on the foot of Eilonwy's bed and stared at her hands. 'I... didn't know... I'm so sorry...'

'Yeah... well...' whatever anger had driven Eilonwy that past few minutes had dispersed. 'It's not your fault... really, it's...' Eilonwy looked over Elsa's shoulder. 'Who's your friend?'

Elsa turned to see Snow standing beside her. Concerned. 'Oh, sorry. Snow, this is Eilonwy Leer. I knew her from school. She was in the year above me. Ellie, this is Lilly White.'

'Hey,' Snow smiled. 'Nice to meet a friend of Elsa's.'

'Oh I...' Eilonwy looked at Elsa. Whatever she was about to say was changed by the pain she saw in Elsa's expression. 'Yes. An old friend,' she said, looking back up at Snow. 'Why "Snow"?'

'Oh,' Snow seemed embarrassed. 'Long story.'

'I have time.' Eilonwy gestured around her. 'Chemo's not finished.'

'You have cancer?' Elsa asked. She moved forward up the bed. 'Is it-?'

'Not terminal,' Eilonwy smiled at her, and suddenly the girl Elsa once knew returned. _Jesus, she's still gorgeous. My first... _'Stage two ovarian. Caught it in time. Had the surgery. Chemo's just for the clean-up.' She must have seen their combined expressions, as she added; 'prognoses looks good.'

'I'm... I'm glad to hear it.' Elsa moved her hand forward until it was only a few inches away from Eilonwy's.

'I was lucky. Been having check-ups every year. My family has a history with it.'

Elsa's hand moved forward. Eilonwy pulled hers away.

'The story,' Eilonwy asked Snow.

Snow sighed, amusedly resigned to the telling of her tale. Sitting next to Elsa she leaned across and said 'it was a stage name. My sister and I, several years back, used to play the circuit around the city. We were a two-person music act, the "Bad Apples".'

'Oh my God! Eilonwy laughed. 'I have some of your LPs!'

'Really? Awesome! Nice to meet, like, one of our five fans,' Snow sighed. 'We never made it big when it was just the two of us and...' she faltered off slightly. 'I got sick and had to leave. My sister went solo and... made it. Made it big.'

'Rose Red, right?' Eilonwy asked. Snow nodded. 'Don't like her stuff. Too mainstream. You guys had a great sound when you were playing together. It was raw. More passionate.' She looked at Snow with sympathy. 'Mind if I ask why you left?'

'Schizophrenia.'

Eilonwy nodded, understanding, and made no further comment. 'So what brings _you _in here?' she asked Elsa.

'Got the shit kicked out of me.'

That made Eilonwy laugh. 'Seriously? _You? _Little Miss Pacifist?'

'Wasn't my fault,' Elsa said defensively. 'You know the twats that hang around Storiford. They're just looking for an excuse. Got on the wrong side of one of them and next thing I know I'm on the pavement feeling his boot in my stomach.'

'Ouch,' Eilonwy looked genuinely sympathetic. Elsa was happy to see her old friend warm up to her. 'Damage wasn't too serious, I hope?'

'Taking a shit was painful for a while, but no...'

'Yeah, I needed to know that.' Eilonwy shook her head in bewilderment. 'You have changed. You used to be so shy. I had to practically drag you across school to find some place we could make out where you felt comfortable.'

'Oooh...' Snow's face lit up. 'You're _that_ Ellie!'

Light eyebrows jumped up to a blonde fringe as Eilonwy looked from Snow to Elsa. '_That_ Ellie?'

'I've only said good things about you,' Elsa hastened to reply, feeling the blood rush to her face.

'Yeah? Like what?'

'Well... you were a good kisser,' Elsa fidgeted with her hands as she spoke. 'And... other things.'

'You two totally banged,' Snow said.

'I was her first,' Eilonwy said, posing as she spoke.

'Was she yours?'

'No.'

'Was she the best?'

Eilonwy regarded Elsa, who was busy trying to collapse into herself to escape this conversation. 'She was unique,' Eilonwy said after a moment. Elsa looked at her, but couldn't read anything in the woman's face. 'And adorable.'

_Adorable? _'Erm... thanks... I guess.'

'Miss Leer?' All three turned to the new arrival. A nurse, politely waiting at the foot of the bed. 'I need to run a few tests.' She smiled politely at both Elsa and Snow.

Eilonwy was apologetic; 'it'll take a while.'

'No worries,' Elsa said, standing. 'I'm just over there.'

'I noticed.' Eilonwy smiled. 'Catch you later.'

'Yeah...' Elsa reluctantly returned to her own bed. She watched as the curtains were drawn back, shutting Eilonwy from the world again. _God damn... as if my life can't get more complicated as it is._

'You still love her.'

She looked at Snow, perched on the edge of the seat with a smug smile on her face. 'When I get out of here, first place we're going to is your friend's.'

'Sure,' Snow nodded. Making no further comment about Elsa's love life. 'You'll love Jiminy.'

'With a name like that. I'm sure.'

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **So Ellie was Eilonwy from _The Black Cauldron. _:)_


	15. In Which Anna Says Goodbye

**IN WHICH ANNA SAYS GOODBYE (FOR NOW)**

They drove back from the hospital in silence. Anna claimed a headache. Her sister was either too wrapped up in her own brooding or too respectful to attempt conversation; Anna couldn't decode the expression on Elsa's face to decide either way. Regardless; London traffic was a greater priority for her. Delays in processing Elsa's paperwork meant they were forced to leave during rush hour, and their rate of progress back to the familiar streets of Storiford was testing even Anna's extraordinary patience. The continuing uncomfortable air between herself and Elsa didn't help matters either.

As they crawled by Storiford park Elsa surprised Anna with a comment, made out of blue; 'Snow thinks a friend of hers took your old sofa,' said monotone. Anna risked a glance; Elsa hadn't turned away from the window. She stared at the passing trees. Chin held up by a skinny wrist.

_The one with your drugs in it? _Anna wanted to snipe, but held her tongue. This was the first Elsa had said to her that wasn't monosyllabic. Instead she nodded, hoping to encourage further words.

She was rewarded; 'we're meeting him tomorrow.'

'That's good,' Anna said, testing the waters. 'Will... will it be in there?'

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Elsa shrug. 'Dunno. We'll see.'

That ended the short-lived conversation. The rest of the drive was accompanied by a soundtrack of car horns and engines revving. Ending only when Anna pulled into the small car park tucked away behind the flats and parked next to the grubby truck belonging to the old man across the hall, whose name Anna could never remember but whose smell she had never been able to forget.

Walking into the flat with Elsa was strangely unreal, and it bothered Anna that she felt that way.

'I've tidied your room for you,' Anna said, knowing that Elsa would immediately notice the look of her room had changed from barely-managed chaos to pristine, polished, and dusted order. 'Hope it's OK,' she added, almost fearful of angering her sister.

Elsa just nodded and walked into her room. She paused. 'Thanks,' she said, and smiled at Anna.

It was a tired smile, but a smile nonetheless. Anna returned it with her own weary version.

The door closed and Elsa was again out of her life. _Why do I feel relieved? _Anna wondered. She wandered into the kitchen area and prepared dinner. It was only after measuring out the amounts she realised that she would be cooking only for one with the portion. Embarrassed about the mistake, and a little disturbed how it had happened so easily, Anna measured out portions for Elsa.

_Am I trying to tell myself something? _She wondered as she watched the food boil on the stove.

_No, I can't really want my sister out of my life. We're just going through a tough time. Everything will be back to normal soon. I just have to be patient with her..._

Like she had for the last seven years.

* * *

Elsa was out all Tuesday and so was Anna; she felt guilty about the amount of time off Belle had given her in the past week, so she stayed behind after closing hours to help clean up despite Belle's insistence that she go home.

'You shouldn't be here,' Belle repeated to her as they cleaned up the shop. Peering between the books as she worked on the other side of the shelf. Delicately sending small clouds of dust into the air. Anna wasn't surprised to see how dusty the bookshop could become. _Jesus Christ, it's like our customer's fucking shed half their body every time they come in. _

'Where should I be?' Anna asked. Marvelling at the dust that flew off the shelves as she worked her way along the historical fiction section. _There goes most of that nerdy guy who wanted a brand-new copy of the latest Brandon Sanderson. _

'At home, with your sister?'

'Elsa needs some time to herself,' Anna replied. More dust dispersed into the air, disturbed by her furious wielding of the duster. _And that'll be that odd goth girl who wanted to replace her worn-out copy of _Gone Girl _with a new one, who wouldn't fucking shut up about the movie ruining everything for her. _

'Did she say that?' Belle asked.

'No... but...' Anna shrugged. 'It's Elsa. She likes being by herself.'

'Nobody likes being by themselves,' Belle said. 'If we say we do we really just mean that it hurts to tell our loved ones what is bothering us, and we don't want to experience that hurt. We shy away from it behind this façade of "I just want to be alone."' She makes a face. 'Bullshit.'

'You think Elsa is hurting?'

'And you _don't_ think so?' Belle stared at her between the books. 'Anna, I've met your sister a total of three times, and I can tell you she is a very troubled young woman. You _must_ know this.'

_Of course I fucking do! I live with her! I have to put up with her bullshit every fucking day! She's a selfish, fucking... _at great mental effort Anna curtailed that train of thought before it led her down paths she would later regret. Taking a deep breath before replying; 'No, you're right,' she said. 'Elsa is... she's hurting. And it kills me that I don't know what to say or do to help her.' _If you'd only talk to me! You stubborn _bitch!

'She is talking to someone, yes?' Belle asked. She walked around the shelves to Anna and leaned against them, arms folded.

'Yeah, she's seeing a psychiatrist. Aurora recommended her.' Anna frowned. 'Apparently Aurora's seeing this woman for something. You wonder what that's about?'

Belle shrugged. 'I only just met her the other week.' That brought the heat to Anna's face. _Yeah, I forget a lot of my friends don't really know each other all that well. I should change that. We should all get together again sometime... _'She seems like someone in control of her life. Very together.' She pauses, then adds 'probably completely psychotic.'

'All calm and collected people are hiding inner psychoses?'

'That is my theory. Crazy people keep it inside because they don't want the crazy to show. People who are sane let their crazy show because they know they aren't crazy.'

'Well that explains you.'

Belle grinned. 'Ah... _vous comprenez_ little Anna.'

'I am worried though...' Anna looked around her, although the likelihood of either Aurora or Elsa walking in at that point in their conversation would have been astronomically low. 'Aurora admitted to me outside the hospital last Friday that she's in love with Elsa.'

'Really?' Belle gasped. 'Does Elsa know?'

'No. Aurora doesn't want her to know.'

'Why?'

Anna shrugged. 'I don't know. She wouldn't say. I got the feeling she's scared of something.'

'Doesn't want to admit to herself she swings both ways?'

'Possibly.' Her face bunched up as Anna thought about it. Then she relaxed and shrugged. 'Dunno really. Could be something else. Something deeper. Juicier. Or she could be afraid of the gay.'

'That's a shame. They are both quite attractive. Their sex would be beautiful.'

Anna made a face. 'Please Belle... I don't want the mental image of my sister having sex.'

'Too late. You are picturing it now. Their sweaty bodies entangled in the throes of passion-'

'Seriously! Stop!' Clutching her head Anna made to walk away, although she was grinning at her boss as she did so. 'You are filling my head with images that can't be unseen! We're talking serious brain-bleach needed here!'

Belle paused. Studying Anna. Then: 'Elsa's not a natural blonde, is she?'

Anna frowned, wondering where this was going. 'No, she's like mum. Dark brunette. Why?'

'So...' Belle moved her hands to encircle her crotch. 'Does she shave? Or is it bushy brown down here? A thick collection of dark brown-'

'Shut it!' Anna cried out in laughter. 'Seriously! I hate you so fucking much right now it's unreal.' She groaned. 'Oh God you've got me picturing it. Happy now?' Belle grinned malevolently. 'Well if we _must _talk about this then no. My sister doesn't shave. At all. It's probably a fucking forest down there. Aurora'll need a map to find her twat.' A pause. 'How did we get onto the topic of my sister's vagina?!' she cried out.

'What's this about Elsa's vagina?' Anna turned to find Kris walking up to the both of them. 'Sorry but the door was unlocked,' he said to Belle. 'I wanted to come and take my girlfriend away for our last night together. For the immediate future, that is. Looks like I've chosen the perfect moment.' He grinned at each of them in turn.

'Oh, shit!' Anna exclaimed, having completely forgotten Kris' departure. 'Tomorrow... oh God, when's the flight again?'

'Not until the evening,' Kris wrapped his arms around her. 'We have most of tomorrow. Relax.'

'Go, you two,' Belle said and began pushing Anna towards the door with Kris' help. 'Don't come in tomorrow, you hear me?'

'But-' Anna begun.

'I insist! Go! Be happy for a day! Come back Thursday and be miserable with me!'

'I'd listen to your boss,' Kris said as he opened the door. 'She seems like a smart person.'

'My intellect is stunning. You will do well to listen to me.' Belle folded her arms and stared down at Anna. 'Go. If I see you tomorrow I will chase you away with quotations from _Ulysses_.'

'Oh God, save me Kris! Now!'

Laughing Kris guided her through the door onto the streets of London, thanking Belle as he did so. Together they walked to the Underground station and took two trains (Central line to Tottenham Court Road, then the Northern line up to Storiford), getting home around nine.

* * *

Elsa was boiling pasta when they walked into the flat. She gave the two of them a surprisingly warm welcome, considering her mood since returning from the hospital. 'Hey,' she said with a wide smile. 'How was your day?'

'Oh, boring,' Anna replied. She leaned past her sister and speared a piece with a fork. 'Hmm,' she said after tasting it, 'think they're ready.'

'Yeah, sorry. I didn't know when you'd get back so I chose something I could leave in the fridge for you,' Elsa said. She looked embarrassed. 'Not the most original dish. Compared to your stuff...'

Anna turned her sister around to face her and looked up at Elsa with the warmest smile she could manage in her tired state. 'It's fine. Really. It's fine. Thank you.' She remembered what Elsa had told her in the car the previous day; 'did you find it? The... erm...'

'Drugs?' Elsa nodded. 'Yes, yes I did.'

Anna's face lit up. 'Really? It's all sorted? Hans won't be bothering us any more?'

'No. No he won't.'

Anna studied her sister's face for several seconds. 'That's great!' she said eventually. 'I say this is cause for celebration! We've got some Merryweather in the fridge, right?'

'Yes.'

The fridge was opened and the drinks retrieved. Anna set the table and Elsa served up food. Kris politely declined, but Anna insisted and the portion Elsa had measured for two was divided by three. Dinnertime conversation was pleasant, although Anna realised she seemed to be carrying it largely by herself. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between Elsa and Kris that both realised the other wasn't fond of them, and that future hostilities could be avoided through maintaining as little social interaction as possible. This left Anna as the bridge between comments both made to her, and to her only.

_This isn't working_, she thought, half-way through. _I need to fix this. If I can't tonight then I have to wait until Kris gets back from New York. I can't wait a year! _

It became apparent she would have to. Elsa cleaned up without further comment to the two, and Kris made enough unsubtle hints that Anna caved in and retired to her bedroom with Kris in tow. 'I can wash up!' she called out to her sister just before stepping into her room.

Elsa dismissed her with a wave without turning around. 'Go have fun. I'll be fine cleaning up.'

Anna waited a few moments to see if Elsa would look at her, but when it became apparent Elsa would not she retreated into her room and closed the door behind her. Kris was already on the bed, looking smug.

'Can we... I'm sorry I'm a little tired...' Anna said, walking to the side of her bed and sitting down.

She felt Kris sit up and put his arms around her. 'What's wrong?'

'She's lying to me again.'

'For fuck's sake-' Kris slipped off the bed.

Anna reached out and stopped his progress. 'Please! Don't!'

'Anna! If she's still in trouble with that bastard we deserve to know! Look what she's doing to you!'

'Please Kris!' Anna was almost in tears. 'Don't... don't say anything to her. Please!'

Looking back at her Kris was nearly crying himself. 'You're too fucking nice,' he said, his voice so low as to be almost a whisper. 'Seriously, Anna... she treats you like shit and you just take it.'

'She's my sister.'

'That's no excuse.'

'It's _every _excuse Kris! She's _family_! Family sticks together!'

She was ready for an argument – a part of her even looked forward to one – but Kris nodded and settled back down on the bed beside her and enveloped her within his arms. 'Last chance. Say the words and I will stay here with you. Family sticks together, right?'

'I've told you Kris, I couldn't live with myself if I stopped you reaching your dream.'

He gently kissed her forehead. 'You're too fucking nice.'

'I know.'

* * *

Wednesday passed all too quickly. Barely a moment was spent outside her room, except for trips to the fridge for food and drink. Inevitably the moment came when Kris slid out between the covers and announced that he needed to get ready. His flight would be leaving in four hours, and he needed to be at the airport two hours beforehand. 'I'm all packed and ready,' he told her. 'Bags are round my place. We'll pick 'em up on the way there.'

'kay,' Anna said, looking at the floor instead of him.

'Hey.' A finger tucked itself beneath her chin and raised her eyes to his. 'It's only for a year. Might be a few months less than that if I work hard enough, and I _will _work my fucking arse off.'

'Yeah... I know.' A weak smile appeared. 'I know you will.'

He looked as if he was about to say something, but then changed his mind and pulled her close. 'I have no idea what I've done to deserve you,' he said, 'but thank you, Anna. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.'

'Yeah... I know.' Anna grinned into his chest. For the first time in a long while Anna felt complete within her life. Worries about her sister were pushed aside in favour of the warmth Kris brought. It lasted for an hour, ending only when they rushed out of Kris' place with his bags. Anna pushed them into the boot of her car and signalled for Kris to hop in. 'We still got time,' she said as she wrestled with the gears.

'Relax, we're doing good.' Kris slouched in the seat; her car was a little too small for him. Blonde hair brushed against the padded ceiling.

'There's traffic on the motorway,' Anna commented, not taking her eyes off the road as they made their way through Storiford. 'I don't know how bad. We might be late.'

'Then we'll be late. That's what the two hours before the plane leaves is for.'

'Yeah...' Anna couldn't admit to him that she secretly hoped they would be stuck in traffic, only to arrive at the airport and find that his flight had left without him aboard. She felt terrible about it, and didn't talk much on the drive there.

Traffic wasn't as bad as she thought (or hoped). They arrived at the airport on time. Kris said his goodbyes after checking in at the desk. 'I'll call you when I land,' he said, kissing her on the lips as a way of sealing that promise.

'Safe journey.' It was an order, not a hope. Spoken to the powers that be and her father's God.

'Love you.'

'Love you too.'

* * *

Anna couldn't remember how she got back. She walked through the door of her flat with a vague memory of parking the car outside. Elsa wasn't home. A note on the kitchen table mentioned staying round Aurora's for the night. _What the fuck is going on, Elsa? _Anna wondered.

Her sister had lied to her. Snow's friend probably didn't have either the sofas or the drugs hidden within. _She's in trouble. Big trouble. And she's not asking for help. _Anna didn't know what hurt her the most: that her sister had lied to her, or that Elsa didn't come to her for help.

There was a way to help her sister. Elsa wasn't going to like it, but it would pay off her debts.

Anna reached under her bed and withdrew the boxes. Ten of them in total. Within each a pristine Flaversham doll. Once valued at thirty thousand each. Anna hoped that the collectors that had asked for them several years back when her family sorted through her late grandmother's possessions were still interested.

_I'm sorry Elsa. _

* * *

**_Author's Notes: _**_This chapter was almost titled 'In Which Anna Has a Rather Uncomfortable Conversation About Elsa's Vagina.' _

_I felt that was too long._


	16. In Which Elsa Looses Hope

**IN WHICH ELSA LOOSES HOPE**

It was pissing down with rain when Aurora drove her car up the muddy path with Elsa beside her and Snow in the back seat, to the caravan Snow had pointed to. 'That's his,' she had said. A decrepit wreck of a mobile home; it seemed to have more rust covering its surface than the faded remains of that garish combination of cream and dark brown so popular during the seventies. After coming to a stop a few feet away from the collection of deck chairs, tables and washing machines that guarded the caravan Aurora turned to the small woman sitting behind her.

'Are you sure?'

Snow nodded. 'That's Jiminy's.'

Elsa was the first out of the car as soon as Aurora pulled up the handbrake. Rain spattered across the chair in the few seconds the door was open. Elsa was immediately soaked. She regretted not bringing a coat with her; she had refused Aurora when her friend had offered one of hers. _Look what your pride has given you, _she thought to herself, w_et hair and probably hypothermia. Nice going... fucktard. _She heard a car door slam shut behind her. Glancing back she saw Snow stepped out, sheltering her black hair from the rain with the hood of her coat.

'Let me do the talking!' she cried out.

'Why?'

'Jim's a little... odd.' Snow seemed apologetic. 'He's nice. Just... odd.'

_Odd doesn't bother me. _

Snow took the lead as Aurora exited her car. With three quick strides she reaches Elsa, umbrella in hand. With a deft thrust of her wrist she opened the umbrella and held it above them both, with a smile for Elsa. 'Thanks,' Elsa said to her, smiling back.

'No problem.'

Snow strode to the door. Reaching up with a small fist she banged it twice against the surface.

Several moments. Nothing.

'Maybe he's out,' Aurora commented. 'Looting someone else's front garden.'

'Not in this weather-' Snow began when the sound of a cascade of objects tumbling over each other heralded the opening of the door. A thick beard with two wide eyes, crowned by a torn top hat, poked itself out and stared down at Snow. Ginger bristles parted to reveal a smile. 'Snow! Me darlin' little Snow! How the devil are yer?'

Patchwork arms shot out. Gathering her into a tight embrace with a figure that seemed composed of a dozen different items of clothing, each viciously fighting with the others for ownership of the body that wore them.

'Hey Jim,' Snow said. Her voice muffled by the clothes pressed against her face.

'What brings yer to my little neck o' the woods?' Jiminy asked.

Snow disentangled herself from the humanoid cast-offs to gesture at Elsa and Aurora. 'These are my friends. The tall one's Elsa, the other's Aurora.'

Two eyes stare out from between beard, hat and collar. They narrow at Elsa. 'What's with her hair?'

Snow answered; 'oh, she used to dye it. She's growing it out.'

'Looks funny.'

Elsa drew her hoodie up over her head. Suddenly conscious of her expanding brown roots.

'Erm... can we come inside Jim?' Snow quickly interrupted. 'Elsa's looking for something. We think it might be inside one of the sofas you found outside her sister's flat? You know? The place down the road from mine? The pink and white sofas? Do you remember?'

'Yeah, yeah, I remember.' Jiminy disappeared inside. His voice floated out along with his stench. 'Quit yer mutterings woman. I remember everything! I remember things you thought you've forgotten! I remember when Storiford was a town with one pub!'

'We still only have one pub,' Aurora called out. 'Not that we ever go the bloody place,' she added under her breath.

'Can we-' Snow began as she stepped into the caravan. 'Oh fuck...' she whispered at seeing what lay inside. 'Jim! I told you to tidy this place! What _is _all of this?'

_Holy shit, if _Snow_ thinks this place is a mess... I've got to see this! _Elsa walked up and ducked into the caravan. For a brief moment she could see nothing; there were only two windows and faded brown newspaper had been taped up over the glass. Combined with the heavy clouds outside the interior of the caravan was almost pitch black.

Elsa didn't move until she could see what Snow continued to rant about. When her eyes adjusted to the light she saw there was little progress she could have made; barely a foot inside and her toes pressed against plastic bags filled with assorted items gathered, judging by the smell, from the collective rubbish bins of London. Bottles, tins, plastic food containers (sans food), cardboard boxes neatly folded into orange Sainsbury carrier bags, electronic equipment (DVD and Blu-ray players, portable stereos, and small flatscreen TVs stacked atop each other), and open bags spilling medicine and plastic bottles of cleaning fluids over what little carpet could be seen beneath it all. Underneath rotting paperback books a dirty cream counter revealed the kitchen part of the caravan, while Snow tossed aside stacks of newspapers to uncover a sofa. Patches of the fabric worn away to release the foam within.

_Jesus Christ... _Elsa stared from one part of the caravan to another. Completely overwhelmed. There was too much to take in. Too much to note individually. It all blurred into one collage of junk. 'Been collecting much?' she heard herself say.

'People waste so much,' Jiminy replied from near the other end of the caravan. Obscured by the mountains he had made. 'I don't like to see waste, so I save it all. I keep it safe. From them. From the government. So they don't feed it to their machines.'

'Machines?' Elsa asked a moment before Snow turned around and furiously shook her head.

His bearded face appeared behind a broken TV set. 'They have a machine! Several machines! All designed to keep their eyes on us! They're hooked into a system kept alive by people they made disappear. All designed to keep us supplemented until THEY arrive! The people from the star!'

_OK... maybe odd _does _bother me._

'Jim has some unusual ideas,' Snow said, rather redundantly.

'HAH! You say that!' Jiminy grinned, revealing a row of yellow and black teeth. 'They keep you supplemented with drugs in the alcohol they serve at the pubs, and the supermarkets, and all the off-licences around the city! Turns you into obedient slaves! Like donkeys!' He disappeared back below the mound of detritus. 'That's why I don't drink!'

Snow and Elsa shared a look of bemusement.

'AHA!' came a loud exclamation as Jiminy reappeared. 'This what you looking for?' he asked as he pushed a pink sofa through the mountains of bags.

Elsa stumbled a path towards it. _Please be here. _Her hands reached down and pulled the seats off before plunging through a small hole in the fabric. Fingers frantically felt around in the hidden depths. They felt nothing. _Oh come on... _'There were two,' she said. 'This one and another.'

'A casualty of the war.' Jiminy shook his head. 'They came and made us move, they did. Wanted us off our land! Our land! Couldn't fit it into my home. Had to leave her behind.'

'Who?' Snow asked.

'Them! The servants of the Star Queen!'

Elsa looked at Snow. 'The council,' Snow translated for her.

'What?' Elsa asked, aghast. 'The council has it?'

'Probably destroyed it by now,' Snow commented.

'Everything OK in here?' Aurora asked from just outside. 'Elsa!' she exclaimed as Elsa barged her aside, running out into the rain to kick the rubbish surrounding the caravan. Sending it across the mud in a fit of fury. 'Elsa?'

'Jesus! Fucking! Christ!' Elsa screamed. 'Can't anything go right? Just once?' Her temper faded and she stood in the rain crying. A warm arm pulled her close to Aurora.

'Come on,' she said. 'I'll drive you back home.'

* * *

She had just lied to her sister.

Tuesday evening Anna came back from work with Kris. Elsa had been cooking pasta. Anna had asked after the search, and Elsa had lied. As she cleaned up after dinner her hands worked on autopilot as her mind furiously searched for another way out of the mess she had got herself into.

_Three days to find twenty thousand..._

Aurora had contacted her father and used his friends in the council to track down what had happened to the leftovers after they had forced Jiminy and his travelling friends out of the fields. The word came back that everything had been collected and set alight. Controlled destruction.

_I'm screwed. _She thought. _I'm completely screwed. There's no way out of this. Hans needs either the money or the drugs, and I have neither. I can't get twenty thousand by this Friday._

_I can't beg for more time. I have to..._

Elsa listened at the door to her sister's bedroom. Inside Anna was crying.

_As always you fuck things up. Their last night together for a long while and you've fucked it all up. _Somehow that reaffirmed her decision. _It's what you deserve, Elsa..._

* * *

Wednesday morning found Elsa standing at the door to Aurora's flat. Her friend opened it almost immediately after the bell. 'I need you to get me in contact with MM,' Elsa said before Aurora could open her mouth.

Aurora's face changed. From happy to furious. 'Get inside.' Once the door was closed and Elsa in the kitchen she continued; 'don't you fucking do this. Please, Elsa. You don't want to.'

'Oh?' Elsa felt strangely angered by her comments. 'How so? Good enough for you, but not me?'

'Don't be fucking absurd, you're smarter than this!' With a loud sigh Aurora changed her tactics. 'I don't want you to get involved in this,' she asked, her face worried. 'It's... it's not a good life.'

'But the pay's great,' Elsa countered. 'I can pay off Hans in a month. A month! I don't have to be working for her any longer!' She suddenly grinned. 'Besides: he can't touch me if I'm working for Medusa! He won't want to piss her off by messing with one of her girls!'

'What would Anna say?'

That was unexpected, but something Elsa had been thinking about. The question struck a nerve, and Elsa's grin quickly vanished. 'Anna doesn't need to know!'

'You can't keep something like that secret from her, Elsa. _Especially _your fucking sister! Don't do this. You won't...' Aurora seemed pained and on the verge of tears. Elsa regretted coming to her with this idea. 'You'll regret it, Elsa. You'll hate yourself. It's... it's not worth it. It's not worth the money.'

Elsa studied Aurora for a moment. 'Is that why you see Dr C?'

Aurora looked away. 'Among other things.'

'You didn't just sleep with Philip did you?'

Violet eyes snapped back to glare at her. 'I slept with every fucking client because they paid extra for it and I needed the _fucking_ money!' She gestured around. 'How do you think I could afford to help Kida out with the down-payment on this place when I hadn't even started working for de Vil?'

'It got you the money!'

'And I hate myself for it!' Aurora almost screamed. She took a breath and composed herself. 'I haven't been in a relationship since because I feel _filthy,_ Elsa. I shouldn't.. but I do.' She seemed to be pleading with Elsa; 'I don't want to see that happen to you. Please... promise me you won't.'

Elsa mirrored that expression. 'Then what am I supposed to do? What _can _I do Aurora?'

'I'll talk to my dad-'

'Don't. I don't want you to pay this for me.'

'You asked what I can do, _this _is what I can do, Elsa. I can get that money for you.'

'Hans will know. And if it comes out that your dad paid off a drug dealer.'

'Oh... fuck.' Aurora rubbed her head with her hands. 'Well then what do you suggest?'

'I don't know!' Elsa screamed. 'I don't know how to get out of this mess!'

'_Your _mess!' Aurora replied. Jabbing a finger at Elsa. She immediately looked horrified. Staring at Elsa's hurt expression. 'Oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...' Elsa got up to leave. 'Elsa!'

'What?' Elsa snarled. Her fists clenched.

Again Aurora seemed to be pleading with her. 'Please... we can figure this out.'

'What is there to figure out? I'm fucked. Like... seriously, completely _fucked_.'

'Elsa...' Aurora tentatively moved closer. Her hands reached up to cup Elsa's face, causing Elsa to shiver at the warmth of her touch. 'Please...'

'I don't know what to do,' Elsa cried.

Aurora didn't reply. She pulled the taller woman closer to her. Never looking away from Elsa until the last second before their lips met. Gently. Briefly. Then she pulled away. Her eyes opened and filled with tears. 'Please stay. I can't help you, but I... I...' she seemed unsure as to what to say.

Elsa was breathless. _Jesus fucking Christ _that _just happened. It actually happened! Aurora kissed me! She fucking kissed me! She... what does this mean? What the fuck's going on?_ 'You better not be doing this just to get me to stay,' she whispered.

Aurora shook her head. 'I'm not.'

'Why now? Why not when I told you how I felt?' Elsa found her voice rising, but not in anger. 'I told you I loved you, and you told me you couldn't love me back! Was that true?'

Again she shook her head.

'Why?'

'Because I was frightened.'

'Of what?' Elsa asked quietly.

'Hurting you.' Aurora said.

'You stupid bitch,' Elsa sobbed, 'you already did that.'

'I know.' Aurora was crying also. She pulled them both together again. Their lips met. 'Please stay,' she whispered between kisses.

'I'll stay.'

* * *

'I have to go to work.'

Groggily Elsa awoke. Standing by the sofa Aurora looked down at her. A blanket was wrapped tight around her. _When did that happen? _Elsa reasoned that she must have fallen asleep somewhere between episodes of _Space Pirates of Atlantis_. Where the fearless hero, Milo, had finally confronted the dastardly villain in his new, upgraded form: that of the cyborg Long-John Gold. She couldn't recall how their fight had ended and guessed she must have fallen asleep moments before.

_Surprised they let me sleep on their couch. _

'What time is it?' she asked.

'Seven-thirty.' Aurora smiled. 'Kida's leaving at eight, but you can stay here as long as you want.'

'It's OK... I've got stuff to do.' _No I haven't. My day usually consists of staring at jobsites, getting depressed, then playing games until Anna gets back. _

If Aurora knew this she didn't let it show. Instead she nodded, holding her smile, and saying 'just don't forget to close the door when you leave. The cat likes to wander.'

She turned to leave. Elsa reached out a hand and gripped her wrist. 'Hey.'

'Hmm?'

'Last night. You meant it?'

'Of course.' Aurora smiled painfully. 'Just... just give me some time. Please. I want to get there, I really do. I just need you to be patient. For me.'

_Can't really blame her for that. Calling her out on her issues would be like calling the kettle black, and I'm the fucking pot. _'Sure.'

With another smile, one more warm and genuine than the last, Aurora left Elsa alone in the living room. A few minutes later Kida popped in to say hello and goodbye, a knowing smile on her face.

'We didn't do anything,' Elsa felt the need to clarify that.

'I know.' Kida seemed troubled. 'Give her time, Elsa. She really does love you, she's just...'

'A little fucked up?' Elsa commented. 'I don't mean that nastily. Just speaking as an expert on it.'

That brought a smile to Kida's face. 'You're not fucked up Elsa. You just... need some time.'

'That's one thing I don't have.'

Unable to answer that, Kida changed topics. A few minutes later she said her own goodbye.

Now truly alone in the flat, Elsa frantically searched through her options, but kept coming back to the same one. _I can't avoid this, _she thought. She retrieved her mobile and dialled the number. Although long deleted from her phone the numbers came to her easily. _I wish I could forget them. _

He answered almost immediately. 'Where's my money Snowflake?'

Her throat felt dry, Elsa swallowed before replying. 'I can't.'

There was a long period of silence before Hans said, 'Kuzco's at ten. Tonight. Bring an offer. It better be a fucking good one, Snowflake. These past few weeks have made me a very impatient man.'

'It will be.' _It's one you've been wanting for a long time._

* * *

Kuzco's could be heard almost half a mile before it could be seen. When Elsa walked through the open front doors the heavy bass of the music pounded through her, mixing with her nerves to create a violent assault on her body. Gripping herself tightly she squeezed past dancing revellers towards the back of the club, where the large form of Biggs Weselton stared down at her.

'He's expecting you,' he said, rather redundantly, opening the door and allowing her past.

In the room beyond, surprisingly cramped when compared to the large dance floor Elsa had just crossed, Hans reclined in a large seat beside an untidy office desk. A line of white residue marked the surface near the edge. Beside him a skinny man with a deep brown tan was mid-way through laughing. His face changed when Elsa walked in. 'This the girl?' he asked Hans. His eyes roaming the height of her. Lingering on the shape of her t-shirt where it perched atop her breasts.

Hans nodded. 'Yeah, that's her,' he said. 'Snowflake, Kuzco. Kuzco, Snowflake.'

She eyed both men wearily. Coming to stand a few feet away from where they sat.

'Pull up a chair, darling,' Hans gestured to one of several stacked beside the door. 'We have business to discuss, don't we?'

'Yes.' While she'd rather stand, Elsa decided doing what Hans asked would be the fastest way to get out of this meeting in anything other than an ambulance. She placed a chair in front of them and sat herself down. Never taking her eyes off either of them. 'I can't get the money by tomorrow.'

'Now that is disappointing,' Hans said. 'So what are you going to do about it?'

'I'm prepared to work off my debt,' Elsa said. 'Any way you want. Doing whatever.'

'Really?' A look passed between Hans and Kuzco that made Elsa's skin crawl.

'Stand up,' Kuzco said. A smug grin growing.

Nervously she stood.

'She's got a good body under all that,' Hans commented, as if talking about the aesthetics of a new car. 'Go on, Snowflake. Give us a little twirl.'

Hating herself and what she was doing, Elsa slowly turned around on the spot.

'Not much of an arse,' she heard Kuzco comment as she turned her back to them both.

_Fuck you. _Elsa completed her three-sixty turn. _Fuck you both._

'She makes up for it in other areas,' Hans commented. 'Take that shitty shirt off, Snowflake.'

Staring at Hans with all the hatred she could summon, Elsa reached down and tucked her fingers beneath her shirt. She pulled it over her head and stood there. Blue and white snowflake bra bared for their lecherous eyes.

'Now there's a fucking nice pair of tits.' Kuzco leaned back and made a window with his fingers and thumbs. Peering through it straight at Elsa's breasts. 'Proper fuck-me tits and all. Shame she's a fucking carpet-muncher.' His arms returned to the chair. 'But, to be honest mate, I've always been a legs guy.'

'Take those skanky jeans off love,' Hans said. 'Show off those gorgeous legs of yours.'

Her face burned red as Elsa slipped her jeans off. They fell to the floor and she stood in her underwear before them. Her arms trying to shield herself from their eyes.

'Go on love,' Hans said, 'shake those hips of yours. Give us a little dance.'

_Just fucking die. _Elsa glared at Hans, who returned her gaze with a bored expression. Slowly she flexed her stance, moving her hips from side to side. _I'll fucking kill both of you. I swear to God..._

Hans dropped his head back and groaned. 'Fuck's sake! That's about as erotic as my grandmother. Fucking put some effort into it girl! Make it hot!'

Picturing setting Hans on fire, Elsa exaggerates her movements. Running her hands down the sides of her body. Never once taking her eyes off him. She notices Kuzco lean forward in his chair.

'Now that's more like it!' he said. 'Turn around, give us a little arse.'

_Fuck you both. You sick, twisted fucks. _Elsa slowly turned around, gyrating from side to side.

'God girl, you got some hips!' Kuzco exclaimed. 'We've got to get you up on stage. Get a little white courage in you and you'll bring the house down.'

_Right on top of your fucking head..._

There was a series of loud knocks on the door.

'For fuck's sake...' Hans said. 'FUCK OFF! WE'RE BUSY!'

The last voice Elsa expected to hear in this place filtered through the door: 'I've got your fucking money you asshole!' Anna yelled from the other side.

'Huh... hey, Snowflake... ain't that your sister?' Hans laughed. 'Let her in Biggs!'

The door opened and Anna strode in. She paused, briefly, when her eyes noticed Elsa, who was uncomfortably reminded that she stood in her underwear. Looking away from her sister to stare at Hans, Anna reached into a coat pocket and retrieved a large bundle of money, which she threw at him. 'Twenty k. That's enough, right?'

Hans said nothing as he counted the notes. Feeling each one and holding them to the light behind Anna. Eventually: 'yeah... that's enough. Guess it's your lucky day, Snowflake. We're good.'

'All right,' Anna looked at her sister. 'Put some fucking clothes on and lets go.' Without waiting to hear a response she turned and strode out.

Elsa quickly followed. She struggled to put on her jeans and walk fast enough to keep up with Anna, and almost tripped over as she squeezed her way between the dancers. 'Anna!' she called out. 'Wait!' Eventually she managed to get both legs into her jeans, and threw her t-shirt over her head at the same time she escaped the clutches of the nightclub into Storiford's cold night air.

Anna was just ahead, walking towards her car. Elsa reached out a hand and grabbed her arm.

Her sister turned around and looked back at her. Elsa let go upon seeing Anna's face. She thought she had seen almost every expression Anna could make. Happiness. Fear. Worry. Disappointment. Love. But this was new. This she had never seen. At least not when Anna looked at her.

_Hate._

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_**_ Sorry for the wait. This one took a while to get right. _

_Just one more chapter and the first act of Thaw will be complete!  
_


	17. In Which Bonds Are Broken

**IN WHICH BONDS ARE BROKEN**

_I hate you so God damn much right now... _Anna surprised herself with the thought. So filled with hatred for the woman who stood before her. T-shirt askew. Pulled on too fast to sit properly over her breasts. Just another reminder of what Elsa had been about to surrender herself to. _I hate you... _

_Stop looking at me like that, _Elsa thought. _Like you're disgusted by me. _Yet she tugged down on the t-shirt. Trying to cover more of herself.

Anna barely felt the cold as she glared at her sister. Behind Elsa people stood waiting to enter the nightclub. A pounding bass deafening them to the conversation between the sisters. 'What the _fuck_ where you thinking?' Anna asked. Speaking slowly, carefully, and deliberately choosing her words. 'I mean _seriously_, Elsa, what the _fuck_? What was the plan? Whore yourself out until you paid off the debt?'

That cut deep. Elsa couldn't look her sister in the eye. _Fuck you._

'Help me to understand this, Elsa,' Anna continued, stepping closer. 'Where was this going? What were you going to do? Please...' her eyes glistened, 'I'm trying to understand what goes through that mind of yours, but Jesus _fucking _Christ you make it so God-damned _hard_!'

'It was a stupid idea,' Elsa muttered.

'You're fucking right it was stupid idea!' Anna snarled. Both she and Elsa were taken aback by how vicious she sounded. Elsa flinched; her sister's words hurt her. Anna saw it and felt a moment of regret, but her anger quickly smothered any desire to apologise; 'I can't believe you, Elsa! Is there no depths you won't sink to? Prostitution?' She let that word hang between them. 'What would our parents say if they found out you were _whoring_ yourself around Storiford?'

_Like father would care... _Elsa genuinely found the thought amusing. Picturing her father having even less to do with her than he already claimed._ He hates me enough as it is. This would be proof that I'm the mess he claims I am. Reason enough to disown me proper. Yeah... he'd love that. _'I don't care,' Elsa said aloud. Anna stared at her in shock, unable to believe what her sister had said. Seeing her expression Elsa continued; 'I don't care what either of them think.'

_You bitch! _'Elsa! They're our _parents_!' Anna exclaimed.

'AND THEY DID A FUCKING SHITTY JOB OF IT!' Elsa snarled. Her face turned red. Her lips peeled back to bare teeth. 'What the fuck do you know? You have no idea what it was like! They _loved _you! You had _none _of the shit I had to deal with-'

'And what shit would that be?' Anna said. They stood so close together that she could feel Elsa's rapid breaths against her face. 'They practically _worshipped_ the ground you walked on. You were their darling little genius. Me?' She jabbed a thumb at her chest. 'Oh, I was the dumb _slut_ who made out with all the boys. Who'd run off every night to clubs until my dad practically dragged me from them. I was the embarrassing one. You were _fucking _perfect. Even-' Anna stopped, feeling that she had gone too far.

Elsa noticed. 'No. Say it. Finish what you started.'

Looking at her sister, seeing the challenge in her eyes, Anna almost spat the sentence; 'even when you freaked out in class.'

_There it is. _Elsa glared down at her sister. 'You have _no _idea-'

'No! I don't! I have no idea what goes through your head!' Anna threw up her hands in frustration as she practically yelled her words mere inches from Elsa's face. 'I have been there for you time and time again, defending you from all the shit thrown at you and what have you ever given me?'

'Don't you fucking dare try and play the saint here.'

'No, because poor, poor Elsa Adelle Lee is the suffering martyr here.' Anna contorted her face in mock sympathy. A small voice within her cried as she heard her own words, while another screamed encouragement. Fuelled by so many years of frustration. 'No one can understand you. How you feel, how much you suffer. So much pressure! Have to do well, have to be the good girl, have to be their darling little Elsa. But you're not! You're selfish! You're arrogant! You're the most miserable piece of shit-'

'Says the girl who _fucked _her way through school!' Elsa snarled in reply. 'How many just to get those grades you needed? Lured them in with that innocent little act of yours then threw them aside when they helped you pass the next set of tests!'

Open-mouthed, Anna couldn't believe what Elsa had accused her of. Fists clenched as they hung by her waist. 'You _bitch_!' she said. Her sister blurred as tears filled her eyes. 'How dare you!' Images of previous boyfriends distract her from forming a response beyond simple retorts. Worst than all of them was how close Elsa had hit to a suspicion about herself that Anna had repeatedly denied for a long time. _Is she right? _Anna thought. _Am I just using people? To succeed in school? In life? Money and family? Using them to give me the love I so need? _

Seeing weakness Elsa pressed forward; 'you say _I'm _selfish? All this talk of family and friends. Is it really altruism? Or are you doing all this for yourself? Like you've always done. Make the perfect family. Only dad and I couldn't work it out, could we? So you went and got yourself knocked up by the first guy who was good to you with a good job that could afford to take you away from the little flat of shit you've trapped yourself in.'

'You...' Anna had to turn away from Elsa. Walk a few steps to cool her head. Else she was certain she would physically hurt her sister.

'Admit it, Anna,' Elsa pressed. 'You're not the angel you want everyone to believe you are.'

'NO!' Anna whipped back round to face Elsa. 'No I'm not! Happy? You miserable bitch! Yes, I'm selfish. I want a family who loves _me _and loves each other because I couldn't stand the way dad and you _hated _each other. I couldn't understand why you didn't love each other like I loved him.'

'But he didn't love you.' Not said maliciously, but with pity.

'No...' Anna cried. 'Because he _wanted _to love _you_. I wasn't you. You _fucking _cunt... you took his love! He should have loved _me_! Because I wasn't a miserable piece of shit! Because I didn't loose it in class. I didn't _waste _three years of my life getting a degree that I will _never_ use!'

'You never even got into uni!' Elsa both laughed and spat those words at Anna.

'Look where that's got you!' Anna yelled back. 'Where's all that _genius_ got you, Elsa? Where are you in life? Are you successful? Do you have a car, a nice house, a dumb blonde to hang onto your arm and make you look good? NO! You're living in a room in your sister's flat with no job or money or future or any shred of _fucking _dignity!'

'Fuck you,' Elsa turned to walk away from the car.

'Oh that's it! That's the Elsa Lee attitude to life isn't it?' Anna said, gesturing with visible disgust. 'Just walk away from your problems! Toss them aside. Don't worry about them. They're all someone else's problem. That's what you do for everything! Job! Life! Everyone! The people who _love _you!'

'Shut up.'

'You run away from every problem! That's your answer!'

'I don't-'

'You're doing it now!' Anna said.

'Fine!' Elsa turned to face her. 'You want me to face my problems? Here's one: my sister. She's an arrogant, obnoxious little cunt who can't help but shove her nose into everyone's problems whether they want her to or not!'

Anna glared back for a moment before saying 'finally, a little honesty from you. A little too late. I just save your arse back there, you ungrateful shit.'

'Where did you get the money?'

It was Anna's turn to look away. Ashamed by the act and hating her sister for forcing her hand. 'I sold the dolls,' she said. Almost a whisper.

Elsa doesn't say anything. Staring with wide eyes. Anna couldn't bring herself to look back.

'Not all of them,' Anna said, as if that would help. 'Just... enough to raise the money.'

'How _could_ you?'

Anna looked at her sister. Elsa was crying. Eyes red and tears running paths down her cheeks. 'I did what I had to do,' Anna said defiantly. 'Better than what you were going to do to yourself-'

'You had no _right-_'

'My sister was about to whore herself out to every wanker in Storiford. I say I had _every fucking right_!'

'THEY WERE ALL I HAD!'

'ALL _WE _HAD!' Anna yelled back. 'She was _my _grandmother too! I loved her too!'

'Fine way of showing it,' Elsa said. 'Selling the only things we have left of her!'

'I did it for you! I did it to _save _you!'

'I NEVER ASKED YOU TO!' Elsa practically spat the words at her sister. 'I never asked you to keep coming into my life! You think you're helping but you're not! You just make everything worse with your fucking constant need to be the good guy. To be the fucking hero who flies in and fixes all the problems!'

'I don't-'

'What are you doing with Snow? With Jaz and Al. The same thing you did with Ariel and Eric-'

'You-'

'Admit it Anna! It's not about them! It's never about them! It's about _you_! You're passive-fucking-aggressive need to be praised! To be loved! To be the saviour-'

'YES! FUCK YOU! I do it for _me_! So I feel _fucking _great! Like I've done something of worth for a change! But at least _my _selfish _fucking_ nature makes people _happy_! What do you do, Elsa? What do you give people?' When no answer was immediate, Anna added; 'how about we ask Aurora, Kida or Ellie about what _you _give?'

'Fuck. You.'

'There we are! The Elsa Lee school of social interaction,' Anna wanted to hurt her sister. _Years of putting up with Elsa's shit. Of listening to her bitch. Of doing everything I can to make her fucking _happy _only to have it thrown back at my face..._ 'Tell me; how _is_ that working out for you?'

Elsa said nothing. She clutched herself tightly. Afraid to release the painful grip her hands had on her arms lest she strike out at Anna. _Shut up. Shut up, you stupid little whore..._

'Do you ever wonder why you're all alone?' Anna continued. Relishing this chance to drive home her verbal blades. 'It couldn't be because no one in their right mind would ever want to be with you. It's not that they don't love you, Elsa. It's because they _can't_. No one can! Every time someone does you bite and claw until they let you go.' Venom gave way to pity. 'Why? What the _fuck _happened to you?' _What the fuck happened in that classroom Elsa? _'Why are you like this? Why can't you let us in? Every time I tried to help you shut me out. Why? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?'

Silence put pause to their argument. Both sisters stood and stared at each other. Visibly exhausted by their efforts to hurt each other with words they had held in for so long.

Elsa broke that silence; 'what the hell do you know?'

Anna stared dejectedly. 'That's it? That's all you're going to say to me?'

'It's all you deserve.'

'Fuck you. You miserable cunt.'

'Yeah I'm a cunt. I'm a cunt who's smarter than you. You've always been jealous of that,' Elsa said with a malicious smile. 'Be honest Anna; you've hated the way I breezed through school while you tripped and stumbled and sucked the dick of anyone who'd give you a helping hand. You say no one can love me? Aurora loves me! She fucking _loves_ me!'

Anna snorted. 'Hardly. She feels sorry for you. For the mental case you are. One day you're going to wake up and realise that she's only with you because she wants to play doctor to the cluster-fuck of psychosis that is _you_.'

'But she'll be with me! One day you're going to grow bored with Kris,' Elsa countered. 'You can't play the beloved girlfriend forever Anna. You can't keep bending backwards to make him happy. It's not possible. Either he won't be able to provide you with the family you want or you'll find someone _better_ and you will drop him like that,' she clicked her fingers, 'and don't give me the 'true love' crap you love to pull out because I've heard you describe every single relationship as "the one." "This is the one." "This is Mr Right." I may be a miserable cunt but at least I'm _aware _of how toxic I am.'

'Fuck off.' Anna turned and opened the car door. 'You can walk back.' She paused. 'In fact, stay the night round Aurora's. Don't fucking come back to my flat even if, for some fucking incredible reason, you actually, genuinely want to apologise for all that shit. Just...' she slammed the door close and looked at her sister. Elsa stood with arms folded. Face enraged. 'You two really are suited.'

_Don't you fucking bring Aurora into this. _'Don't...' Elsa warned her sister.

'What? Don't want the truth? That you and her are every bit as fucked up as each other?'

'Don't you dare-'

'You're even seeing the same damn shrink! Share, and share alike, Elsa? She's fucked up. You're fucked up.' Anna changed her voice to a mockery; 'it's a match made in heaven, ain't it?'

Elsa stepped close and threateningly raised a finger to Anna's face in warning. 'You say what you want about me, but don't you _ever _say _anything _about Aurora.'

_Huh. There it is, _Anna thought, _the possessive protection I always wanted you to show over me. I can't believe it. You treat me like shit but she gets the special princess treatment? _'Or what?'

Elsa opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't bring herself to threaten Anna despite her anger.

'That's what I thought. All bark and no bite. Run away from your problems, Elsa. Run away back to your girlfriend. Don't pretend you ever gave a shit about any of us,' Anna felt her voice rise. 'You only gave a shit about one person, you!' A finger jabbed between Elsa's breasts. 'Just you!' Another jab. 'And you alone!' A third and final sharp punctuation with her finger. Elsa had taken a step back, away from Anna's assault. 'The only person who could ever love you is that fucking whore!'

It happened so suddenly that both girls stared at each other in shock in the aftermath. Elsa's hand hurt from where her clenched fist had connected. Anna held a hand to steady herself against the car as the pain blossomed outward from where Elsa had punched her. A hand reached up to caress that spot. Fingers massaged the flesh of her cheek as it reddened.

The dam broke. Anna threw herself forward into Elsa and brought the taller woman down to the pavement where Elsa's head hit the slabs with an audible impact.

Not pausing her assault Anna threw her fist into Elsa's left side. Fingers met ribs, hurting her but hurting Elsa far more. She let out a scream and clutched the side of Anna's head and pushed against her sister. Trying to force Anna off of her. Fingernails dug into Anna's flesh.

Anna threw several punches into Elsa. Screaming between each; 'You. Fucking. Bitch!'

Elsa brought her right leg up between herself and her sister. Planted her shoe on Anna's thigh and kicked with all her strength. The effort sent Anna falling backwards. Hands outstretched she caught herself and stood up at the same time as Elsa.

Clutching her side, Elsa looked at Anna. 'Feel better?' she spat.

'Oh, I'm just getting started,' Anna replied. She moved forward, fist raised.

Elsa moved faster. Throwing herself forward in a mirror of what Anna did a moment earlier. The movement catches Anna off-guard; Elsa forced her shoulder into Anna's chest and pushed her sister against the car. Anna screamed in pain.

Bringing an elbow down onto Elsa's back, Anna cried incoherently. Partly in pain, partly in rage.

Elsa moved back to avoid her sister's attacks and raised her arm to throw a punch. Catching it in motion Anna twisted Elsa's wrist, causing her sister to scream and bend forwards. Elsa tried to free her arm but Anna was stronger. Intense pain shot through her arm as Anna continued to bend it in a way it was not meant to. Lashing out Elsa caught her sister twice across the head with her fist.

Anna let go after the second punch. Stumbling against the car she held her head. Her fingers felt wet. She looked at them and saw tips tainted red. A part of her was dimly aware of the audience this scuffle had gathered; drawn by the entertainment offered by the two women fighting. A wide ring of youths formed a half-circle around the car. Phones were out recording the event.

Anna paid them no heed. Elsa was the only thing she cared about right now.

Cradling her wrist Elsa stared back at her sister. Vision blurred by tears.

'Get. The fuck. Out of. My Life.' Anna hissed the words between deep, painful breaths.

'Anna...' Elsa whimpered.

'GET OUT!' Anna screamed. 'I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!'

For a brief moment they stared at each other. Both mirrors to the other; eyes filled with pain and anger, but a glimmer of fear at what was to happen. Elsa turned walked away. The crowd parted at her passing. Whispering amongst themselves.

Anna opened the door to her car and sought shelter within. Starting the engine she drove a short distance down the road before pulling over. Away from the noise of the nightclub, and the audience that had gathered, and away from her sister, she broke down and cried. Loud, screaming, borderline hysterical until she had no more energy to give to her grief.

Anna curled up upon the driver's seat. For the first time in her life she felt very, very alone.

Elsa kept walking, ignoring the pain in her arm and feet. All her life she had believed herself lost but only now did she truly understand what that meant.

One thought consumed both sisters.

_I've lost the only friend I'll ever know._

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_**_Really sorry for the long wait for this one. I've been taking part in National Novel Writing Month, and so most of my free time has been taken up working on that 50,000 word challenge, leaving little these past two weeks for writing this chapter of Thaw. Plus I _really _wanted to nail this one. Hope it was as uncomfortable to read as it was to write. In a good way._

_And so ends the first act of Thaw._


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